Husband cheating

[Ayla182]

I've been with husband since 2008. Married in 2014.
We have 2 lovely DCs. Husband is an amazing father to both. If he didn't cheat most would say he is amazing too me. He spends a lot of time with me, we get on amazing and he goes out of way to 'spoil' me... To the point that those who don't know what goes on all say how amazing he is and that they wish their husbands wereirte more like him.

The last time he cheated (I forgave the first and that was second) I decided to end things. Husband cried and begged forgiveness and eventually accepted and moved out. We stayed separate for 2 years and he would visit the children every day pick them up and take them out. Everytime he returned them he always asked for another chance and apologised said he loved me.

Foolishly I tried to forgive him in the hopes he may have changed. 2 days ago I found 'cheeky' messages between him and his secretary (she is around 20!!) She messaged that she hates working from home as she can't see him and he sent her a wink!?? Now I haven't said anything yet as he can worm his way out of this but I have my eyes on him and her and if it's anything more I really don't know what to do!

He says he loves me. He shows this yet he just can't help being sleezy

I spent a long time questioning why he cheated. Its because I am ugly. Maybe I am getting old.

Couldn't have been the reasons for Beyonce, Halle Berry, Reese Witherspoon and Tiger Woods' supermodel wife also being cheated on, so I've no reason to think it's true of you.

Some people are like this, OP. There are different reasons for cheating, some more understandable than others, but he sounds like one of those who cheats because he can and it feels good. He probably loves you, loves having a family, but not enough to stop doing this. From his perspective it probably isn't a big deal, but the fact that it's a big deal to you, and the hurt it causes you, isn't enough to him.

You cannot change him and he hasn't changed himself, even when faced with the prospect of losing you, even when he did lose you. He's weak. This is who he is. You need to bear that in mind when making your decision of what to do. As long as he is able to do this, he will.

Personally, I would say he could do it somewhere else. I could forgive an affair in some circumstances, but these aren't it.

So sorry for you. You gave him the chance he begged for and now he's proved it. He's just going to keep doing this, banking that you will not leave. Honestly I wouldn't be able to stay after that.

Even if there is gossip, his actions say more about him than you. You tried to keep your family together, he didn't.

My mum knows, she is very traditional - a women should stick by her husband through thick and thin. She always tells us that we should only consider a divorce if there is violence in our relationship.

She’s a terrible mother, sorry. Ask yourself: would you tell your children that?

You are a mug.

Get some self respect asap.

You sound upset and down on yourself rather than on him, OP. Why aren't you angry? He isn't a good father, he's a lousy cheatung scumbag. He doesn't do it because he 'can't help being sleazy' or because there's anything wrong with you. He does it because he wants to, because it's fun, because he can, and because he's learned that you will let him get away with it. I expect other people already know. Pull yourself together and ltb.

You’re not stuck
You don’t have to put up with this shit or stay with someone who treats you so badly