Son gaining weight?

motherdearest373 · 2021-03-12T19:46:29+00:00

Hello Mumsnetters, I would like some advice, guidance and help please. My son 15, is 5ft6 not sure what he weights, but until October last year he was slim (flat tummy, lean legs etc). He was trying on his uniform last night, as he has to go back to school next week (Year 10 in Wales) and he couldn't fasten his trousers and his shirt would not button (his tummy was in the way of it buttoning). He came downstairs to show me and he said I'm fat aren't I?. I said no you're growing. He then ran back upstairs in a mood and was upset. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. I went food shopping this morning and I asked him if he wanted to come with me. Usually he loves coming as it gets him out the house. I'm also showing him how to pick healthy food etc when out shopping. But, as he was getting ready, he decided to wear jeans (normally he wears joggers/tracksuit bottoms) and he came running downstairs saying look mum I'm getting fat. I can't even fit into my Levi's anymore. I said please just get ready as I want to go shopping. He then said I'm starting a diet so everything fits me and stormed off upstairs. He then shouted I dont want to go shopping with you. So I went on my own. Should I be worried about his weight? Has anyone helped their child slim down or is it part of the growing process? What should I do?

LawnFever · 12/03/2021 19:49

Well he’s still growing, has he just grown since October, it’s five months and kids grow! Does he look overweight? It’s impossible to say tbh..

LucyLocketsPocket · 12/03/2021 19:49

Sounds like he's growing and he needs some new clothes.

oblada · 12/03/2021 19:50

Have you checked his weight? Is he actually overweight? Can you see excess fat on his tummy etc? If so then he has a point, he just needs to watch a bit portion size and maybe exercise a bit. Taken early this isn't a big issue to solve. Has he been eating more during this whole lockdown thing? Has he stopped exercising?

BurgundyBells · 12/03/2021 19:51

Ds1's weight/appearance has always yo-yo'd to a degree (13). He tends to get a little more chubby then shoot up a couple of inches regularly.

It could just be the weight surge before a growth spurt or maybe just lockdown. Either way, unless he's really overweight there's nothing really to worry about. Lockdown weight will probably start to drop naturally in the next few weeks and in the meantime just focus on healthy eating and exercise for the whole family rather than weight.

HugeAckmansWife · 12/03/2021 19:52

DS is 11 and has piled it in in the last 6 months. Some of it is puberty related as I'm sure it probably is with yours but no doubt he's been far less active lately. I think at 15 you can chat with him about nutrition and fitness rather than about fat but I wouldn't avoid the issue or say he's fine if he's not. He's old enough to go running or cycling alone, do crossfit etc and maybe get into cooking.. Joe Wicks maybe?

sunset900 · 12/03/2021 19:52

I have a similar thing with my DS, coming up 14. He seems to growing outwards and I'm not sure whether it is due to lockdown, less movement, possibly more snacks (although I don't think his eating has changed too much) or whether he is about to shoot up. Sorry, not really helpful but you are definitely not on your own

CuriousSeal · 12/03/2021 19:54

What size are the Levi jeans and how far off fitting are they? Does he look a little overweight to you?

It might be in his best interests to cut down portions and encourage daily exercise if the clothes are the correct size. It will help with his confidence at the very least.

Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 19:54

@oblada

Have you checked his weight? Is he actually overweight? Can you see excess fat on his tummy etc? If so then he has a point, he just needs to watch a bit portion size and maybe exercise a bit. Taken early this isn't a big issue to solve. Has he been eating more during this whole lockdown thing? Has he stopped exercising?

I haven't weighed him, but I'm guessing he has weighed himself, to make a comment about it. Yes his tummy sticks out. Compared to before it was flat with no excess.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 19:58

@CuriousSeal

What size are the Levi jeans and how far off fitting are they? Does he look a little overweight to you?

It might be in his best interests to cut down portions and encourage daily exercise if the clothes are the correct size. It will help with his confidence at the very least.

I'm not sure what size the Levi jeans are. But I know I bought them in December as he kept asking for some. Which is why I know he is upset now, as they don't fit him. They were quite far away from fastening but length was fine.

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oblada · 12/03/2021 19:59

Then just support him if he wants to watch his portion sizes (best way to diet especially at that age), cut down on snacks and exercise. Nothing much to it, he's a growing man who has put on some extra weight at a pretty unprecedented times, nothing wrong with it especially if he wants to address it. I'd just make sure he addresses it in a healthy way i.e. focus on portion size/snacks/sport rather than some fad diet or sth.

AmyandPhilipfan · 12/03/2021 20:33

As long as he doesn’t start to get obsessed it’s probably a good thing he’s noticed and wants to do something about it as he’s more likely to be accepting of healthy meals and suggestions of going for a walk or bike ride.

My almost 13 year old has also piled on the weight over the past two years, but he is not bothered one bit and asks for pudding every day (we rarely have pudding) and will happily say he has a big appetite. He also hates any form of exercise so in lockdown has been quite happy to laze about the house. I feel for him really as his brother a year younger eats the same diet he does and is stick thin!

Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:33

@sunset900

I have a similar thing with my DS, coming up 14. He seems to growing outwards and I'm not sure whether it is due to lockdown, less movement, possibly more snacks (although I don't think his eating has changed too much) or whether he is about to shoot up. Sorry, not really helpful but you are definitely not on your own

I can't say I've notcied him eating more, but probably inactivity has made him gain.

I imagine lots of parents are worried about their children at the moment too.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:35

@HugeAckmansWife

DS is 11 and has piled it in in the last 6 months. Some of it is puberty related as I'm sure it probably is with yours but no doubt he's been far less active lately. I think at 15 you can chat with him about nutrition and fitness rather than about fat but I wouldn't avoid the issue or say he's fine if he's not. He's old enough to go running or cycling alone, do crossfit etc and maybe get into cooking.. Joe Wicks maybe?

He is in a mood and hasn't spoke to me all day. I'm not sure what to do.

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crummyusername · 12/03/2021 20:35

DS (13) has put on weight in the past few months. It’s lockdown I’m sure - at home more so snacking and all his usual sports cancelled. He eats hardly anything when he’s actually at school and naturally in the course of the day is moving round much more. It still worries me... I’m trying not to mention weight at all, but instead talking about his health and fitness.

Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:37

@crummyusername

DS (13) has put on weight in the past few months. It’s lockdown I’m sure - at home more so snacking and all his usual sports cancelled. He eats hardly anything when he’s actually at school and naturally in the course of the day is moving round much more. It still worries me... I’m trying not to mention weight at all, but instead talking about his health and fitness.

Oh no. Has he mentioned anything to you?

I'm imagining lots of children are upset they can't do their usual sports.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:38

@AmyandPhilipfan

As long as he doesn’t start to get obsessed it’s probably a good thing he’s noticed and wants to do something about it as he’s more likely to be accepting of healthy meals and suggestions of going for a walk or bike ride.

My almost 13 year old has also piled on the weight over the past two years, but he is not bothered one bit and asks for pudding every day (we rarely have pudding) and will happily say he has a big appetite. He also hates any form of exercise so in lockdown has been quite happy to laze about the house. I feel for him really as his brother a year younger eats the same diet he does and is stick thin!

Thats the thing. I don't know what to say or do about it. He's sulking and won't speak to me.

Its amazing how your 2 children can be so different.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:39

@LawnFever

Well he’s still growing, has he just grown since October, it’s five months and kids grow! Does he look overweight? It’s impossible to say tbh..

His tummy sticks out and he does look as though he has gained. Plus his fitted clothes are much too small.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 20:45

@oblada

Then just support him if he wants to watch his portion sizes (best way to diet especially at that age), cut down on snacks and exercise. Nothing much to it, he's a growing man who has put on some extra weight at a pretty unprecedented times, nothing wrong with it especially if he wants to address it. I'd just make sure he addresses it in a healthy way i.e. focus on portion size/snacks/sport rather than some fad diet or sth.

He hasn't actually said what he wants to do other than "diet". He won't speak to me as he is upset with the gain and the fact that nothing fits him.

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Original poster

motherdearest373 · 12/03/2021 23:30

Any ideas of how I can get him to talk to me?

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Notimeforaname · 12/03/2021 23:46

Go to him and tell him you're there If he wants to talk about it and you'll help come up with a plan if he wants to try losing some weight.

Also tell him if it came on quickly..it can go just as quickly with some little tweaks. Tell him it's part of growing up,metabolisms and habits change.

It's a good time for him to think about food more and be more responsible with food choices and activities. Another part of growing up.

Try to normalise it as much as possible so theres no fear of him getting too obsessed.

Original poster

motherdearest373 · 13/03/2021 09:06

@Notimeforaname He came down this morning had breakfast, said he's upset that nothing fits him and that he is starting a diet. I explained that everyone has gained due to lockdown (less active etc) and that we could start eating healthier. I also suggested that we do some more exercise. But he didn't look too pleased with the idea of it.

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Notimeforaname · 13/03/2021 10:45

Well it is not your fault and I wouldn't be pleased with him snapping at me as if it were.
Hes not 8.

He's 15 and well able to monitor how he eats and exercises.
I do understand its upsetting for him but he needs to recognise it has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you now(unless you're feeding him crazy amounts!)

I would be taking the opportunity to remind him that while you understand his frustration,he has no right to be pissed off or snappy at you.. especially since you are the only one trying to come up with solutions.

I work with kids of all ages and I've noticed teenagers do this a lot...they like the freedom to live,eat and chill as they want but then panic at the parents (usually the mum) because they've put on weight..failed an exam or messed somthing up.
Dont forget respect here op. X

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2021 10:49

I would wait for him to approach you the next time about his diet.
If you keep bringing it up ,he may start to think everyone else has an issue with his weight.

So let him being it up but dont let him blame you.

And if he does bring a diet up ask him what he thinks a healthy change could be...from there you can gather how much he understands about calories,food,fitness etc and how much guidance he needs.
And from there.. you can quietly monitor from the sidelines to make sure it's all staying within a healthy range

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2021 10:54

But he may be doing that teenager thing where he wants to keep complaining about the issue but doesn't want to do anything about it.

Its suddenly so daunting when teenagers realise all the responsibilities they have and almost revert back to children...shouting at mummy because nothing suits. Hopefully he comes round to the idea.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 13/03/2021 11:09

I think it's normal for people of all ages to be upset because they've gained weight. He shouldn't be taking it out on you, though.

I also think a lot of people have gained weight this year - especially if you normally get your exercise via school or organised sports/the gym etc. and you can do longer do those things.

Are you active as a family? Could you maybe see if he'd come on a bike ride or you could borrow a dog and go for a long dog walk? It's not a lot but it's better than nothing.

Is he eating a lot more now he's home all day? I know for me it's easy to just go into the kitchen and get a snack even if I'm not hungry - it's just something to do!