To ask anyone who has been to a funeral during the pandemic...

[Chocwocdoodah]

...are the staff at the crematorium/church etc strict about social distancing?
I've got to go to a funeral soon and there are members of the family going who I know have not followed the restrictions at all, will expect to hug everyone and are planning a bit get together at one of their houses afterwards. It's going to be really awkward to insist they keep their distance and I know I'm going to be accused of being some kind of heartless witch by some of them but I was hoping if the 'venue' is quite strict about enforcing distancing, and actively reminds attendees to adhere to SD, it might discourage people from getting too close/hugging.

I mean the whole situation is awful and inhumane - of course people want to hug and be close at a funeral, I understand that. But I don't want to take any risks, particularly with people I know haven't been especially careful throughout.

Just wondered what other people's experiences have been?

One I went to 2 weeks ago asked people to leave immediately & not gather outside (Scotland). One last summer we all hung around outside for ages.

I believe the max number is 30 if the venue can safely accommodate that.

My mother passed away a few months ago and there was no enforced SD apart from in the crem where you had to pick up your own chairs and sit them next to your household group.
Once outside everyone was hugging eachother. I was so emotional I couldn’t have cared less about SD that day.
It broke my heart my mum couldn’t have a proper send off 😢

They didn't enforce SD at my Grandad's funeral but it wasn't really needed to be honest. Everyone seemed to keep their distance from other households. There was only 12 of us so not too difficult.

At my DP's funeral in November, every other bench in the chapel was taped off, but apart from that, there was no enforcement of distancing.

Oh, and only 30 mourners were allowed. I believe that's still the max in England.

We ask for names and bubbles and then print out each name and put it on the allocated pew with the service sheet.

As they enter church I ask them to sanitise their hands, what their name is and lead them to their seat.

The immediate family who come in after the deceased are on the front rows sort themselves out without my input.

Beyond that, if mourners want to hug and embrace then I wouldn't ever involve myself. I just ask want them to stay back from me.

Went to my aunt's funeral at the local crematorium a few weeks ago. There were 30 these, everyone had masks but the seating was in pews so we just sat at a normal precovid distance. The vicar was quite firm about asking people not to touch the coffin on the way out.
Once we were outside, we were there for about an hour and a half and it gave everyone a chance to decompress. There was a little bit of hugging but most people were quite cautious. I don't think strict SD was enforced but mostly it was.

They did not get involved in social distancing policing

I have wardened a couple of church funerals in the last year. We ask for names/groups in advance & put the chairs out accordingly. I wear a face mask to greet people at the door and ask them to hand sanitise. We have test & trace posters up. We ask people to find a seat and stay seated & they have to wear a mask, unless exempt.

My vicars remind people about SD but I don’t think any of them would dive in to break up a hug.

I hope it goes as well as it can.

Im a funeral celebrant and have been to lots of funerals during the pandemic. Each crematorium is different in both number of attendants, set up of chairs etc but whilst the funeral directors remind people to keep within their bubbles no one will go round breaking up hugs.

I went to one 3 weeks ago, maximum of 30 people in church, pews taped off for social distancing, maximum of 4 sitting together, hand sanitiser in church doorway, masks worn by all except the vicar.

I had my father’s funeral in December and mum’s this week, both at the crematorium.
There was hand gel at the entrance and we all wore masks except fours/fives to accommodate attendees (about 25 in all I think)
We were allowed to lay personal flowers on the coffin alongside the wreath and to touch the coffin.
No one stopped us hugging thankfully; it’s been heartbreaking enough not being allowed to see them in the care home let alone enforce social distancing when you say that final farewell.
I hope it goes as well as possible for you 💐

• oops! Chairs set out in twos/threes/fours/fives...

I've been to two funerals. Both the crematoriums had rules and directed everyone within the building. We had to give details of households before my mums funeral so they could setup where everyone was sitting and they let us in to sit one household at a time.

The coffin was wheeled in on a trolley with two members of staff, one at the front one at back so distanced. Staff were distanced from each other.

Any hugging took place before and after the funeral in the car park.

I think it varies from place to place. I've attended 3. My uncle's funeral had seating for immediate family to sit together, but at my inlaws funerals everyone had to sit 2m apart. I couldn't comfort my husband at his dads funeral and nobody else could comfor each other properly as the seats were far apart. It was awful.

Just an update. Funeral was last week. I refused several hugs and was made to feel either like a) a silly cow or b) a cold hearted cow or c)both. So that was just lovely.

My Dad died in April 2020, 15 of us in the chapel, all sat normally together. No masks.

A funeral I went to a couple of months ago was 30, all chairs separated by two metres, masks to be worn.

Staff adhered to rules of the current time.