To ask what you would expect the school to do in this situation?

[LondonUnited]

Dd is age 9. She has now come home from school twice in the last week (first last Friday and now today) with deep grazes to her knees. There is barely any skin left on either one and at least one of the grazes is so deep there is likely to be scarring.

Upon further questioning she tells me that she has been shoved/pushed to the ground by the same child (a boy aged 10) on both occasions, causing these injuries. The first incident was the worst and left her unable to walk properly over the weekend and us having to dress her knees each day until the grazes healed over slightly. The second was less serious but on her account also involved a deliberate push/shove hard enough to send her to the ground rather than an accidental collision as part of a game.

She has not raised this at school as she does not want to be considered a ‘snitch’ and for fear of being picked on further. I have now emailed the school with pictures but want to know what they might be expected to do so that I don’t over or under react!

Does your school have a bullying policy? I would expect them to follow that

I'd expect them to follow their bullying policy and let you know what that is and which steps are appropriate in this situation. There may be a copy of the policy online which might be worth reading yourself first to manage expectations a little. Communication is key!

Thanks, I will look that up (I’m sure it does but have never had to look at it previously!)

Agree with the others. They should forward you a copy of their anti bullying policy which will detail what happens next.

It has to have one.

You need to encourage her to say something if this is happening at school, she needs to build up enough confidence to know that she shouldn’t have to put up with this. Until then, you need to speak to the school and let them know what your dd is saying is happening.

To be honest, with injuries that bad I would not have expected to first hear about it at pick up from my own child. I would have expected a call from school after it happened and a reassurance that they were going to do something about it. Even if my child wouldn't say who it was, I would expect the staff to put the two serious playground injuries together and start to investigate why in line with their policies. This is certainly what would have happened at my daughter's primary school.

Your poor DD. I hope she's ok.

If she hasn't let anyone know, they can't reasonably be expected to resolve the situation. Before assuming bullying, I would speak to the class teacher to inform her, ask for the situation to be monitored and see if things improve.

As a teacher, I could not return an injured child to their parent at the end of the day without comment after the child had spent their day in my care. Was she wearing tights or trousers so that the injuries were hidden?

Tell DD, when these things happen it is ALWAYS the right thing to tell a teacher and parents. THat's so that the adults can make sure she is safe, and to stop other children getting hurt the same way. By telling, she is protecting other smaller children who might not be as brave as she is.

I don't understand how an injury so bad that it will scar went unnoticed by the school.

If it was so deep it must have bled, surely. Did she not alert anyone to that? Poor kid, she must have been in a great deal of pain.

Sorry just to deal with the issue of the injuries - yes she required attention in the medical room on both occasions. A friend took her and no one asked what had happened beyond assuming she had fallen over.

I am actually boiling with fury today but I need to be able to calm down to deal with the school tomorrow!

The first in particular involved a lot of blood and was extremely painful, her older brother heard her screaming from across the playground

It is impossible to deal with a situation which you do not know about. If it is not reported, unfortunately the teachers may not know she was pushed deliberately. Ask to speak to her teacher/lunch time supervisors and notify them of issues between your daughter and this boy. They should keep an active eye on the playground but if it happens again and is unseen, your daughter must report it.

i'd be going bat shit crazy and would probably take two people to sit me down. why would you take 6-7 days to protect your daughter from physical injury?

That’s awful. There would’ve been a teacher on the playground surely!
Write it all down so if you get angry and can’t think straight you have something to follow

Surely if she's had first aid they will have asked her how she did it? I fail to see how the school is at fault if she hasn't been truthful at that stage. It would be reasonable for an adult to tell you at pick up though.

What I would do is email the headteacher and report the facts as you understand them, naming the boy.

I would ask the head to ensure it does not happen again.

I woudl expect the school to follow their policies - you can read them from the website usually.

If she had medical treatment at school would it be logged in the accident book?

You have said the school don't know what has happened so at this point you cannot be angry with the school. They need to do a proper investigation into it. If she doesn't want to be a snitch she probably told the first wider she'd fallen over.

I'd expect them to now deal with it appropriately but it is a shame that you haven't reported it at the time.

Thanks all. Yes with hindsight I probably should have complained after the first incident but I naively thought it was a one off and DD was not keen on me raising it because of the ‘snitching’ issue. However today, even if she didn’t volunteer the information I would have expected them to have asked her a few more questions about it, given the awful state of her knees. She would not actively lie if asked directly what had happened.

I have looked up their bullying and behaviour management policy and have been very clear with DD that she must tell a teacher immediately if there are further incidents.

Why are you not reporting to the school today rather than waiting for further incidents?

I think you're putting too much on your DD here, she is being hurt/bullied, it's your job to step in and be the parent.

I'm pretty shocked you're waiting for another incident and telling her to handle it alone when she has told you she doesn't feel able to do that.

She isn't waiting for the next incident. The OP has reported it via email and has indicated she will talk with school today.

What is your complaint about? Your dd was given first aid and did not tell anyone she had been hurt deliberately. There are only two things you need to

1. Tell your dd she must speak up
2. Tell the school that this boy was the cause according to your dd and ask them to look into it.

If he did it deliberately he will be punished. There may be another side to the story. Be prepared for that to be the case too. I have lost count of number of times when I investigated such incidents to find name calling to be at the root of these issues. It might not be the case here. But being angry when your dd hasn't reported it is just daft.