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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what you would expect the school to do in this situation?

29 replies

LondonUnited · 11/03/2021 16:29

Dd is age 9. She has now come home from school twice in the last week (first last Friday and now today) with deep grazes to her knees. There is barely any skin left on either one and at least one of the grazes is so deep there is likely to be scarring.

Upon further questioning she tells me that she has been shoved/pushed to the ground by the same child (a boy aged 10) on both occasions, causing these injuries. The first incident was the worst and left her unable to walk properly over the weekend and us having to dress her knees each day until the grazes healed over slightly. The second was less serious but on her account also involved a deliberate push/shove hard enough to send her to the ground rather than an accidental collision as part of a game.

She has not raised this at school as she does not want to be considered a ‘snitch’ and for fear of being picked on further. I have now emailed the school with pictures but want to know what they might be expected to do so that I don’t over or under react!

OP posts:
ChameleonClara · 12/03/2021 08:04

@PrincessTuna

She isn't waiting for the next incident. The OP has reported it via email and has indicated she will talk with school today.
Oh I missed that in the original op when I posted ages ago Confused

In which case - OP I apologise.

Soontobe60 · 12/03/2021 08:12

I’m assuming that she didn't tell you how she got the first injury when it happened, and that she only told you once it happened again? I really can’t see that the first aiders who dealt with her injuries wouldn’t have asked her what happened. We have to complete accident slips at our school that detail how the injury happened.
I would phone the school up and ask them to investigate what actually happened - they may need to phone you back once they’ve spoken to all concerned. At my school, if this happened we would speak to the children and any staff on duty at the time plus the first aides who treated the child. If it was found that this was done on purpose then we would deal with the child appropriately. We would also do some work with your DD on how to respond if this were to happen again. I always get annoyed that children are made to feel that telling an adult if someone has done something hurtful to you is seen as snitching. That’s how bulling escalates. Children need to feel empowered to stand up for themselves!
I hope your DD feels better today - skinned knees are painful!!!

Bonheurdupasse · 12/03/2021 09:17

OP.

Spanking is not allowed (depending on country) as children are people. (Duh!)

Similarly children being injured- I.e. more than a superficial scratch - intentionally should not be allowed because children are people.

I would call the police.
If the perpetrator is a child hardly any police repercussions would fall on him but the school would be forced to protect your child.

There have been many cases of teachers being injured often seriously by usually older children with behavioral difficulties and the school strongly discouraging calling the police and also doing nothing to protect the teacher.

If someone did this to me on the street and I had any reason to think it might be intentional, adult or child, I would call the police.
Similarly if they did it to a child that was with me.

You should do this for your child.

Skysblue · 12/03/2021 10:06

I would tell the school to have a very serious chat with the boy making it clear that this was not ‘bullying’, this was the criminal offence of grievous bodily harm by an older male against a younger female, and at age ten the boy has full criminal responsibility and could be arrested if you chose to report it. Say you are considering making a police report against the boy for gbh and ask what steps the school are going to take.

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