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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to go on sick at work?

80 replies

alixxx1 · 11/03/2021 15:59

Hi all,

Quite a complicated one here. When I was on maternity with my first child, my whole job changed, my manager, my team, my office however my job title and salary remained the same, so I didn't really see any issue with the changes, I of course was disappointed but accepted it.

Since I've returned from maternity, well over a year now, I have been subject to work place bullying and to make matters worse my manager is not helpful. He is very young, very bitchy and deceitful. He has his office favourites and it shows. I always have my annual leave declined, I'm always asked to cover everything with his response to this being 'other members of the team don't like doing that', so I am expected to do it. He even called me on a day I had annual leave and asked me to work because he didn't want to trouble one of my colleagues to cover a meeting... she was in work that day. It's a disgrace. Anyway there's lots and lots of issues that I have been noting down and enough is enough now. I'm pregnant with my second child and I need to think about my mental health. I physically end the working day with a pounding headache from the stress work is causing me. I feel like nothing I do is good enough, I am never thanked for the tasks I do and I feel totally undervalued and under appreciated. I have been in this job for five years and it has totally changed. I really am miserable.

Funnily enough I am due to go part time in April. This was my decision, one that I wanted to do when I came back from maternity leave but my manager was insistent I came back full time, so I agreed and have been working full time for over a year since I came back. However, even though I am due to reduce my hours, I don't believe any changes to my contract have been made and there is no official change of hours date in place as yet. I can’t recall anything I’ve had with an official date in writing. My manager has already recruited someone for my job... his close friend funnily enough, who applied and was interviewed against no other candidates... suspicious. It was meant to be a job share with me but she has been given my job for four days a week and I have been told when I finally go part time, I won't be doing my job and I basically will be the office floater... I'll just float around and pick up everyone's shit basically. I’m genuinely annoyed about this as my manager told me over a year ago that my job needed five day a week cover, hence why I’d suggested a job share to ensure business needs were met. Job shares are common in my workplace! He even asked me to change the hours I was reducing to accommodate his friend taking over MY JOB and asked me to work Fridays because she couldn’t! I was in so much shock about this. I explained I am reducing my hours and have picked the dates I can do which he agreed to. I have a child. But it’s interesting to note, before I’d even officially said I was going to go part time, I’d only briefly mentioned it, he brought her in for a tour of the building right in front of my nose. So he knew what he was doing all along. I feel pushed out.

My manager is actually a gay man, but makes inappropriate comments towards me that if I continue ringing him to ask work related questions 'people will talk' and then puts my first name with his last name and says it has a 'ring to it'. Now I just take it as a joke but when I really think about everything I face it work, this is actually just something else that is going on in the office that shouldn't. I am a mother of two, with a partner and it makes my partner very uncomfortable when I tell him.

I'm so fed up I'm contemplating going on sick leave. However, I am due to go part time in April and think maybe I should stick it out. But I can't see it changing. So I was wondering if I take sick leave now, whilst I am full time, will they have the right to then change my hours to part time and sick pay to part time in April? It is agreed I will go part time but it has been very unprofessional and my manager has been focused on his friend starting my job more than anything.

I would look for another job but with the current pandemic, me being pregnant and the fact that I really need the hours I've agreed, I cannot at this time look for another job but likewise if it carries on this way I'll end up having a breakdown.

Does anybody know what will happen if I go on the sick now as a full time employee? Whether I would still be paid full time in April? Will they be able to still change my contract to part time if I am on the sick, or will they have to wait until I return from sick leave. My sick leave will be work related stress. I have approached my manager about the bullying but nothing has been addressed and in all honesty, he is just as bad. AIBU to even think this is an option?

Thank you all x

OP posts:
2kool4skool · 11/03/2021 20:39

YABU

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 11/03/2021 20:45

If the treatment you are receiving at work is causing you stress/depression/anxiety Then you ARE sick and are fully within your rights to get signed off

The number of people on this thread saying YOURE NOT SICK make me so angry. I thought that mental health awareness had improved in the last few years. Apparently not!

OP my advice would be to get signed off and whilst you are off to contact HR and discuss your concerns. Also ask for an occupational health as what you say in this will also add weight to your claim.

Good luck and I hope you feel better. Take care of yourself

Jfw82 · 11/03/2021 21:22

@alixxx1 there's a thread for advice from maternity action under employment issues- maybe worth posting there for some advice?

MrsClatterbuck · 11/03/2021 21:46

You could try and see your GP. I was in a very stressful situation once. My DM was very Ill in hospital and also she was a carer for my dad and we had to get him an emergency placement in a home. There was only me and I went to my doctor and he basically said you can't cope with all that and work and immediately gave me 4 weeks sick. That man saved my sanity. I was actually off for 3 months approx.
My DH also ended up having surgery in the middle in all.

ReefTeeth · 11/03/2021 22:03

I work in HR and you need to get your new hours written into your contract.

You know you can't trust your manager OP and I've seen manager's do some pretty shit things when they want someone out.

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