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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH - working through furlough & fear

35 replies

wink1970 · 10/03/2021 12:42

Advice most welcome, please. Sorry this might be a long one.

DH is in an industry that has been furloughed since the beginning (no mid-summer 2020 re-opening). Throughout, the owner of his company has expected DH & his small sales team to man the phones at the very least, often full-on working.

I have asked DH to refuse; his answer is that would result in the owner dismissing him (I believe this would happen, the owner is a bully).

I have asked him to challenge the owner about going back in June when the country opens up, as today he was told they will all stay on furlough until September ... though they will be expected to work 'full steam ahead to relaunch' from June.

DH got quite angry with me discussing it earlier, he thinks it would be like poking a hornet nest and would rather just accept it until September. He's refusing to 'have it out' or even push gently.

At the heart of this is his age (58) and his belief that he's 'passed it' and won't find another job if dismissed. I don't think this is true, he is well known in his industry.... and quite frankly furlough is only a small percentage of what he normally earns, so he might as well go work in Tesco and not have the stress, if he is right.

At the heart of me is that I'm starting to lose respect. I am a confronter, happy to take my own business to task when needed, and I suppose as I am younger and have worked throughout this, I don't understand. He is a proud man, emotionally strong and family-focused and I know he feels confused.

How do I handle this?

OP posts:
emilyfrost · 10/03/2021 12:56

Is he aware that it’s illegal to work while on furlough?

Notjustanymum · 10/03/2021 13:01

I can see how he might feel as he does. It’s very difficult to stand up to a workplace bully in a position of authority though.
If he’s furloughed and his Company is obtaining money from the Gov’t, then to make him and others work through is illegal, as PP has said.
Can you report the Company? (With your DH’s knowledge- not behind his back)...

Witsend101 · 10/03/2021 13:05

I think your husband is probably feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place with this one. I can see why he wouldn't want to rock the boat, especially if the alternative is redundancy and he's not feeling confident about finding alternative employment. Realistically now is not the best time to be looking for a job so I can see why he might be taking a pragmatic approach to the situation and keeping his options open. I think a lot of people would find the thought of being jobless at the moment daunting regardless of the right and wrong of working whilst on furlough

HollowTalk · 10/03/2021 13:10

You can report companies for this on the govt website, I think. I would very quietly do this - or ask a relative or good friend to do it.

Sparky888 · 10/03/2021 13:13

And if the company goes under, he still loses his job. What is the best option for him, in this situation?

wink1970 · 10/03/2021 13:29

He does know it's illegal for the owner to ask him to work; we have discussed quietly reporting the company (I have been very near to doing so numerous times) but it would almost certainly result in the owner shutting the company and lots of people will lose their jobs.

I would prefer him to stand up and refuse to work and/or shunt the owner in the direction of opening up formally in June, but he's fearful that this will result in a hissy fit and his job loss.

OP posts:
UrAWizHarry · 10/03/2021 13:30

It's tough, but ultimately his company are breaking the law by requiring him to work whilst furloughed and threatening to dismiss him if he refused.

If the company has sufficient work for someone, they should be paying them properly. If your husband is unwilling to confront his company then the options are either to keep quiet or report the company.

Londono · 10/03/2021 13:32

I think your DH is right, unfortunately. What is going on is clearly wrong but what option does he have if he wants to keep his job?

MyLittleOrangutan · 10/03/2021 13:37

It's tough, his company is breaking the law essentially. But selfishly, if them not being able to do this means they'd close and your husband would lose his job and doesn't think he could get another, I think I'd keep my head down. It's not unique and it's not like they're putting anyone in physical danger. I don't agree with what they're doing, but you'd be cutting of your nose to spite your face reporting them. We work with companies and the vast majority have really struggled with lack of support and some have had to shut down, decent companies run by decent people that had been running for years but alot of work has ground to a halt, not just hospitality type stuff. It's going to be really tough getting going again without these companies.

Is the company topping their wages up to 100% or just giving them the 80% furlough?

DianaT1969 · 10/03/2021 13:48

Don't rock the boat and definitely don't report the owner. At your husband's age, he needs to keep this job. You are deluded if you think that being known in an industry is going to help him get a job in this market. I assume he's in a sector which has been hit badly, such as hospitality, travel, events or exhibitions. There will be hundreds going for each job in those sectors.
You also sound naive to think that a job in Tesco (even if he could get it) will give him £2.5k per month.
Honestly, get your beak out of his work situation.

wink1970 · 10/03/2021 13:52

Thank you for your understanding, maybe I'm being hard on him today. I'm watching him struggle with the illegality of it whilst being fearful of the future, and I'm worried it's dragging him down.

99% of the time I just smile and tell him he must do what he thinks is right for him and his team and their long-term careers.

OP posts:
alltoomuchrightnow · 10/03/2021 14:08

Tescos doesn't have the stress? Yeh right.
I work in retail (not supermarket) and can assure that the stress is real. I've nearly quit so many times, even handing in notice and withdrawing. Retail in a pandemic is not without stress I can assure you

alltoomuchrightnow · 10/03/2021 14:10

But agreed, if furloughed it is indeed illegal to work

Pumpkinandseeds · 10/03/2021 14:16

How long has he worked there for? If over two years he can't just be dismissed without a procedure and reasoning, and I'd love to see what reason the owner would give as obviously can't say "dismissed due to to refusing to work whilst on furlough"

notanothertakeaway · 10/03/2021 14:20

I think it's understandable that, aged 58, he feels his best working years are behind him

"he might as well go work in Tesco and not have the stress" - (1) working in retail is not stress free and (2) jobs in Tesco are difficult to come by

OverTheRubicon · 10/03/2021 14:26

Is there a reason he hasn't been looking for other jobs throughout this? Then he'd have options, or if he didn't, then he'd be able to tell you and himself that actually there aren't any choices, he's in a hard place and his best option is unfortunately letting his shitty employers get away with breaking the law.

whatisforteamum · 10/03/2021 14:27

Is he on flexi furlough? Part work part furlough we were when the hours dipped.
I can understand your frustration this is how I felt when dh was made redundant a couple of yrs ago.He was your dhs age.
Now I think something is better than nothing when so many are being made redundant.Age goes against us even though it Should nt.I can see why your dh doesn't want to rock the boat.

alltoomuchrightnow · 10/03/2021 14:42

No wonder us retail workers have to put up with so much shit when customers think we don't have stress. It's like it gives them license to talk to us like dirt. I've spent so many days in tears. We've also had a lot of violence in my store. We don't get paid enough for that sort of stress.
Also, Tesco jobs as said..don't come easily.

sst1234 · 10/03/2021 14:46

So basically the employer is defrauding the taxpayer. That needs to be reported before anything else.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 10/03/2021 15:21

I can see where your husband is coming from totally.

wink1970 · 10/03/2021 15:28

I didn't mean to besmirch Tesco workers, I have also worked in retail and know it's hard work. I simply mean he would not have the stress of managing profit & loss, a factory and all that goes with it, and the responsibility of many people whose jobs reply on him. I don't imagine Tesco workers up are up at 4am unable to sleep because they are trying to balance the company books (on behalf of an ungrateful boss) and he wouldn't have that.

Thanks for the support though, everyone. I'll take a deep breath.

OP posts:
FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 10/03/2021 15:44

He is in a really difficult position OP. It's great taking a moral stance and standing up for rights but when it's at the expense of paid employment, in a pandemic and recession then it's not an easy decision. Look at whistleblowers in the NHS, even when you are clearly doing the right thing people take offence and he will get a reputation etc. Its wrong but that's the reality of it

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/03/2021 16:03

Just wanted to say he is right about the job market for 50+ workers. It is very bad, especially if you are in Scotland. And will get even worse when furlough ends. Ageism is rampant. I would not want to be job hunting at 58.

Allinagooddaystwerk · 10/03/2021 16:03

Surely he is profiting from illegal activity, which could be a criminal offense under the proceeds of crime act. There could be prosecution or repossession of the money in the civil courts.

So, if your DH won't do anything, you can either report the company, or just leave it. There's not really a third option.

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/03/2021 16:05

@Allinagooddaystwerk

Surely he is profiting from illegal activity, which could be a criminal offense under the proceeds of crime act. There could be prosecution or repossession of the money in the civil courts.

So, if your DH won't do anything, you can either report the company, or just leave it. There's not really a third option.

The company is profiting, the workers, including the OPs DH are the exploited victims in the scenario. The DH is not doing anything illegal, because technically the company is putting him under economic duress to force him to work while on furlough.