AIBU - work gift collections

[SeeyouontheothersideofCovid]

For a while during Covid, office collections for birthdays, cards, babies etc seemed to grind to a halt as the envelopes could not physically be passed around the office. But now the virtual collection has really got into its stride even though as a team of about 15, we all now WFH.

I know I must be a mean old scrote but I have hardly ever benefitted from these kind endeavours from fellow team members. My 50th birthday passed without any pleasant surprises, I have not had maternity leave or got married etc.

But today comes another request via Whatsapp to contribute to someone's account so they can procure a card and gift, with the proviso please don't feel you need to contribute (sub-text is that if you don't we know who you are, you old miser).

Three of us had a particular event last year (note not birthday, marriage or babies) and I think I got a card but I don't recall any major collection rally. But now the head honcho is having this event, we get the call to donate for a gift, flowers and card (alongside an electric card someone is organising).

There have been quite a few of these (think birthday, marriage and babies) and tbh I am sick of them. In some cases surely a nice card from the team would suffice?

AIBU I am just a mean and sour killjoy or AINBU I'd willingly go without the whole fandango.

Yes I know the person organising it is being very kind to put themselves out, but if they really want to make a gift (and they are on a decent whack) why can't they just fund it themselves and shut up about it?

@Knitterbabe

School I worked at had a system whereby £10 was taken out of salary in September and put into ‘staff fund’. This was used for card and flowers if you were off ill for more then a few days, card and flowers on birth of baby ( mum or dad), card and wine/flowers on ‘big’ birthdays, gift voucher for weddings etc. On leaving you would get gifts of choice or vouchers to the value of £10 per year of employment, so got your investment back . Worked very well indeed. It was possible to opt out, but people rarely did.

How did they have any money to buy gifts? If you contribute £10 per year and when you leave you get £10 for each year employed??

[quote WhoStoleMyCheese]@SeeyouontheothersideofCovid are these contributions gufts forbsenior team members as well or junior ones that are favourites?
It’s odd, where I work organising collections etc would fall to the most junior person...why are experienced people wasting their time with this[/quote]
To be fair, though coincidentally the last few rounds have been for managers, I think the same would be done for junior staff in the same way. My gripe is that it's become the norm and though couched as an invitation to contribute, everyone feels pressured so in fact it's mandatory.

Sometimes I'm delighted to contribute, eg if it's my own manager who has been great or a colleague that I have a nice relationship with, but I don't want to have to contribute to a new staff member or someone that I don't know well / have a connection with. Also I don't care to contribute to every. Damn. Thing, when a team card would be very nice and totally sufficient.

On the question of why experienced people are wasting their time with this, maybe it's because if left to us peasants junior staff, we wouldn't bother as there are better things to do. If I had my way I would happily dispense with office gifts altogether and confine it to cards.

@SeeyouontheothersideofCovid

Ok, maybe it should go like this.

Person A decides the team should make a gift to person B to celebrate their whatever. Funny how it's always seems to be someone in middle or senior management who jumps in to do this rather than the junior team members

Person A then invites team members to contribute (but is prepared to take it on the chin if people don't and not harass them individually). I really think the invitation should be just that - an invitation to contribute if you want to. No one knows the true extent of individuals' circumstances and I think it's dreadful that people are auto expected to contribute as mandatory - eg one poster above mentioned being asked for donation of £10-15 for new staff member who had only been in post for 2 weeks.

This is exactly how it works in my team. I organise it because I feel it’s my responsibility as the team manager.

An email is sent inviting contributions and if I get contributions great if I don’t I don’t. I then buy on the basis of what has been collected and sometimes end up adding a little extra to it myself if the collection doesn’t quite reach the total. If I wasn’t happy to do that I’d buy less.

What I don’t do now is put in for those that say they will give me it back at a later date as I then undoubtedly never get it and I’d have rather they just didn’t say they’d contribute in the first place.

I think you need to learn to say no to collections as you clearly feel so strongly about it. No one really cares if you don’t contribute.

I've always paid into work collections. It's usually done for big birthdays, marriage, leaving, illness, baby etc...
I feel very hurt this time round, I've been at my workplace for 6 years+ went off on mat leave just before lockdown 1, never got a gift for my baby. Then I turned 30 and wasn't even acknowledged, yet on the work whatsapp group keep seeing Tom, Dick and Harry say "thank you so much for my 40th gift"
It's usually quite a big gift around £100 so I feel like I've missed out totally. I'm one of the low paid workers too and I'm going back to work soon and feel rather down. I thought someone in my team may have remembered me. Not sure next time if there is a collection to carry on paying or mention I didn't get anything? Just think I'll sound selfish and grabby though

The suggestion that a higher earner in the team should pay on behalf of everyone is utterly ridiculous.

my friend works for a non-profit organisation with several branches- staffed in the main by volunteers, with a few management/admin paid roles- so far the paid staff leaving get a whip round/present, organised by the CEO, according to my friend, none of the volunteers have had even a card or thankyou, she mentioned one volunteer (lets call him John) who'd left after 2 years (because having to shield means he couldnt do his role) to the manager who said - '...John?...'

at my place all collections are ad-hoc, but as far as I know, everyone has had a special event/long term sickness /leaving acknowledged with a card/present/flowers and usually a meal (restaurant pre-covid, in the office during covid)

I had a big birthday last year but due to covid and being furloughed, no collection was taken for my birthday. I understood at the time due to situation. But a little bit of me was hoping someone would do something this year to make up for it but didn't happen. I have always contributed to others celebrations. So can understand how you feel.

I stopped giving to leavers at my work a few came back after a few months and it really pisses me off that cards and gifts are given then they have the bloody cheek to come back!