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AIBU?

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To think "friend suggestions" on Facebook are people who may have viewed your profile?

162 replies

ashbeebb · 10/03/2021 09:50

Apologies if this has been done to death.
Recently I've had two strange things happen.
I have been having CBT and my counsellor appeared as a friend suggestion with a magnifying glass next to her name.
Now my phone number isn't registered to my Facebook and email is different to my email.
No friends in common obviously.

Then also my ex of two years ago randomly popped up yesterday.
I've not got any mutual friends or live in same area etc.
I don't even use my Facebook much.

Aibu surely this can't be just a coincidence can it?
I know Facebook have said nobody can find out who looks at who.

OP posts:
jamthencreamyoufool · 11/03/2021 13:55

The guy I buy coffee off every week came up in mine

It doesn't say they don't use your past locations....

SoupDragon · 11/03/2021 13:55

the advantage is in concealing how they operate

There is no advantage whatsoever in this. They aren't taxed on profile views linking to "people you might know".

cerseii · 11/03/2021 14:22

@SoupDragon there clearly is an advantage in concealing how they operate. They were the biggest campaigners against Apple’s privacy stipulations in recent years

CriticalWoman · 11/03/2021 14:28

FB only says that you can't look up who has looked at your profile. It doesn't go on to say"but if someone has looked at your profile we'll add them to the list of people you may know" but from my experience that must be what they do. FB is horribly opaque when it comes to privacy issues, and deliberately evasive and misleading.

FullofCurryandparatha · 11/03/2021 14:36

FB only says that you can't look up who has looked at your profile. It doesn't go on to say"but if someone has looked at your profile we'll add them to the list of people you may know" but from my experience that must be what they do

Actually it goes on to say this:
People You May Know doesn’t use things like your current location, information from third-party apps or search history to make friend suggestions. People on Facebook won’t know you’ve searched for them or visited their profile

sunnydaleslayer · 11/03/2021 16:11

Oh bloody hell.

Need to curb my Facebook stalking immediately 🤣

ashbeebb · 11/03/2021 21:35

I'm also going to curb my Facebook stalking just in case Smile

OP posts:
Igloo71 · 11/03/2021 21:42

Jemima Khan popped up on my people you might know page last week. Absolutely no reason I could possibly see why we might be connected but I’m now wondering whether she’s been stalking me.....

PigletJohn · 11/03/2021 22:41

Absolutely they do

An old flame (we are not facebook friends) popped up on mine. And, later, on DP's as "you may know."

They have no friends or places in common.

DrunkenKoala · 12/03/2021 07:25

I’ve been wondering this recently. The mum of someone I deleted and blocked about seven yrs ago came up on mine at Christmas. I looked at the mum’s profile and she’s been on Facebook for a few years but had never come up before. We don’t live near each other or belong to mutual groups but do have one mutual friend so I thought it might be that. Then a few weeks later the new boyfriend of the person I deleted and blocked came up - only know about him as his profile picture is him and her. This boyfriend and I have no mutual friends, we don’t live anywhere near each other and we have nothing in common. I’ve now blocked both the mum and boyfriend but I find it strange how both came up in quick succession of each other.

Mellonsprite · 16/03/2021 23:18

This happened to me today. An ex who I haven’t seen or spoken to in 20 years, so pre mobile phones etc, popped up as a friend suggestion. No mutual friends and apparently now lives on the other side of the world!! How can this be explained?

NoWordForFluffy · 16/03/2021 23:23

I'm not sure they are as I keep getting Lee Mack recommended to me. I know he's from round these parts somewhere, but I have no doubt that he hasn't looked at my profile!

PigletJohn · 16/03/2021 23:27

@Mellonsprite

This happened to me today. An ex who I haven’t seen or spoken to in 20 years, so pre mobile phones etc, popped up as a friend suggestion. No mutual friends and apparently now lives on the other side of the world!! How can this be explained?
exes often look to see "what might have been"
FaceyRomford · 16/03/2021 23:29

I'm sure this is the case. I have had a couple of clients suggested as possible "friends". I assume they looked me up at some time.

Mellonsprite · 16/03/2021 23:33

Yes that’s what I’m thinking @PigletJohn. But ‘apparently’ FB doesn’t do this??
I’ve never found them in a FB search, until this suggestion popped up. So the only suggestion can be that he’s found me through a search and looked at my profile. It’s the only explanation I can think of.
I’m going to cut my own stalking right down!

sipsmith1 · 16/03/2021 23:35

There is a very good documentary on Netflix called ‘The Social Dilemma’ which explains how things like Facebook work.

It is very easy to underestimate how much data Facebook has on you.

SwedishEdith · 16/03/2021 23:54

[quote ashbeebb]@KrisAkabusi you must admit tho it's a massive coincidence that my ex pops up who lives over 30 miles away and deffo doesn't support my football tea or come into my city [/quote]
30 miles away isn't that far though really.

I was "researching" my ex of over 30 years who lives on the other side of a major city. I discovered he had a child who was at the same college as my eldest. So, they could well have people in common on FB - which would then mean me and my ex are linked although he hasn't (yet) come up as a suggestion but I relax knowing if I did to him, there is a perfectly logical reason. Anyway, long way of saying you may not always realise you are still connected in some way.

ConcernedOrange · 17/03/2021 05:07

I'm not sure how they don't. My husband's ex came up in mine a while ago. No mutual friends. My husband has her blocked from ages ago on his 🤷

Oblomov21 · 17/03/2021 05:46

I don't know. But I don't like it. It gives me the creeps. I wonder who it recommends me to? People whom I haven't looked at their profile?

Fatladyslim · 17/03/2021 05:47

30 miles away? You will have freinds of friends in common, almost guaranteed.

They don't have to be 1 degree mutual. One of your friends is probably friends with one of his friends. It's almost impossible to track that via FB.

You all seem very sure that your exes of 25 plus years ago even remeber you, let alone are fb stalking you!

isthismylifenow · 17/03/2021 05:56

I am pretty convinced and agree with you OP.

On more than one occasion I have had a friend suggestion of someone whose profile I have looked at, and then a fair few from people I know who will have looked at mine. Strangely enough it was after a relationship breakup and all the people suggested were linked in to that situation.

Oblomov21 · 17/03/2021 05:59

I'm shocked at how naieve some posters are about FB's power and capabilities.

ChristmasAlone · 17/03/2021 06:23

It doesn't, you would get far too many obscure people in your friend suggestions that would make it unworkable and useless. Think how many times you've been down a rabbit hole after clicking on a random profile in a comment section and how you don't get these type of suggestions. The people everyone mentions in here can be very easily linked. It's run on shared data and algorithms, the permissions you grant for Facebook and the other apps - IG, WhatsApp, Giphy, Beluga etc, are crazy. Do you wonder why they paid £19b for WhatsApp, it has no obvious way it makes money ie no ads, no subscriptions (they sell data and use yours themselves). It's why they are massively focusing on Apps for younger people now Whale, Aux (maybe some others). I use FB ads alot for work and just that side of things is eye-opening how much you can drill down and target people.

CriticalWoman · 17/03/2021 07:58

@Fatladyslim

30 miles away? You will have freinds of friends in common, almost guaranteed.

They don't have to be 1 degree mutual. One of your friends is probably friends with one of his friends. It's almost impossible to track that via FB.

You all seem very sure that your exes of 25 plus years ago even remeber you, let alone are fb stalking you!

I can remember all my significant exes names, going back more than 40 years, so I'm sure a few of them remember me too. And my link between all of them is well and truly severed - no friends in common, no continued phone numbers, email or real life addresses, no geographical links, no ex employer, club, school or uni in common. Which is why when 3 of them popped up on friends you may know I deduced that they had searched for me. I'm curious why the people who are so emphatic that his doesn't happen are so emphatic.
LuaDipa · 17/03/2021 08:27

I think it must be to do with location settings, similar to Google. My dh has been busy planning holidays as I am too busy and as he is looking at various hotels, my FB becomes inundated with ads for said hotels.

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