To think "friend suggestions" on Facebook are people who may have viewed your profile?

[ashbeebb]

Apologies if this has been done to death.
Recently I've had two strange things happen.
I have been having CBT and my counsellor appeared as a friend suggestion with a magnifying glass next to her name.
Now my phone number isn't registered to my Facebook and email is different to my email.
No friends in common obviously.

Then also my ex of two years ago randomly popped up yesterday.
I've not got any mutual friends or live in same area etc.
I don't even use my Facebook much.

Aibu surely this can't be just a coincidence can it?
I know Facebook have said nobody can find out who looks at who.

It's definitely not the only reason. I repeatedly see my SiL's deceased father as a suggestion.

I absolutely believe it does.

I interviewed for a job. No mutual connections at all. Lo and behold a few days later my interviewer came up as "someone you might know".

I started the job and asked if she'd looked me up She had indeed. She was quite annoyed because my settings are tight and private and she could only see my profile picture

What evidence does your made up sister have then?

My sister is made up? Wow, thanks for the intel. Who was I just talking to on the phone then? A mystery. My apparently made up sister works for FB. I guess her evidence is it's her job. You do realise people work for FB, like lots of them?

I interviewed for a job. No mutual connections at all. Lo and behold a few days later my interviewer came up as "someone you might know"

There's another explanation for that.

She was searching for me. There is no way that any algorithm would know we knew each other

I guess to be that confident you must know all the algorithms and how they work?
No, thought not. Again, you not understanding how it works doesn't mean it works as you have decided.

@jamthencreamyoufool would you like to tell us how it works then ?

As I said already, I would not

Anyway, the last time it came up someone else did, summing it all up very well, and everyone insisted she was wrong and they knew better, as "FB couldn't possibly link them any other way"! The naivete!

I interviewed for a job. No mutual connections at all. Lo and behold a few days later my interviewer came up as "someone you might know".

Because you met her! Your phone's spent an hour beside each other. I know you say she searched for you as well, but location tracking is common and straightforward.

For those who are commenting on exes appearing as suggestions, there's an element of confirmation bias at play. They stand out because you know them. You ignore those suggestions of people you don't know, but it's the same algorithm selecting them. You're not interested in knowing how they could have been selected, but you assume your ex can only have been snooping.

If it does there are going to be a load of confused
Americans seeing me as a suggestion. They're a very, very distant branch of my family on a female line and their very open profiles have been a mine of information.

You could be right OP but it certainly isn't the only reason they would come up as a suggested friend.

I have 21 friends on my Facebook that's it.
Out of all the people in the world my ex pops up
Too much of a coincidence for me

@BrilliantBetty I agree.
I'm sure there's loads.
I wish I knew them all

No. Friend suggestions are friends of other friends in case you know them.

I think it is if your phones have been close to each other

I have to write very shitty (if you're on the receiving end) letters to people as part of my job. This is a diverse range of people all over England and Wales. Often, I have no contact with the person other than posting them letters. Letters are produced on my work computer which I have absolutely none of my personal stuff on. No personal email or any social media, I don't use it for shopping or anything. If I end up speaking to them on the phone it's through an app on the same work computer. Some of these people show up as people I should know.

I have to send letters to customers with my full name on and I also speak to them on the telephone and my accent clearly indicates where in the country I am. My surname is quite uncommon. Twice in the last week I have had people you might know with the exact same name as a customer I was corresponding with. I only noticed because the names were so unusual.
I do not have my work place listed or like the company page etc. I never do work tasks or calls on my own mobile. Both customers live over 200 miles away the only logical explanation is that they searched for me.

I have 21 friends on my Facebook that's it.
Out of all the people in the world my ex pops up
Too much of a coincidence for me

But it's not all the people in the world! And this is where people don't grasp what's going on in the background.
It will prioritize people in the UK. So straight away you've gone from 7 billion to 70 million. So your pool is 1% of your initial assessment. Then it's going to be within a certain age bracket. So 20% of 1%. After that, because you were in a relationship, you may have had some hobbies and interests in common. You will have lived in the same area. Your 21 Facebook friends may have friends of his in common. You might follow the same football team, both watch The Walking Dead, cook a traditional roast on a Sunday. Facebook will know all of these and hundreds of other things about you both. And put them into a friend suggestion. It does not require anyone to be snooping.

Ps. Fucking half posted above.

@KrisAkabusi you must admit tho it's a massive coincidence that my ex pops up who lives over 30 miles away and deffo doesn't support my football tea or come into my city

No, I don't think it's a coincidence, I think it's Facebook's algorithms being cleverer than most people give them credit for.

I think the suggested friends comes from a few different places.
There’s those with mutual friends, through WhatsApp. Then there are those whom you might share groups with/like same pages- so locations/interests.
If you’ve listed work, that’ll play a part too.

I can’t always work out the people suggested, majority are due to mutual friends. Sometimes it doesn’t show as mutual friends because people hide their friends list, so you can’t see that information (I only realised this recently when I had a nosey at a suggested profile and saw a comment on the persons page by a friend).

If you use Instagram or other social media apps they too will play a role in it all.

Seems very complicated, maybe they should have the option to see who has looked at your profile like LinkedIn

The people who are convinced it has to be true as they can't work out how else it could be done.....do you also think the magicians actually saw the woman in half or make the elephant disappear?

I'm sure there are lots of ways as people have said but with me I never use my profile
Think I like 2 pages (and they are local takeaway shops )
I can't think of a way my ex would pop up
There could be a way,I just don't have a clue what that might be.

@jamthencreamyoufool Facebook isn't trying to be magic tho.
The point of a magic trick is to fool

@jamthencreamyoufool it’s not that I can’t think of another way, slightly patronising of you, but I trust the source it came from. I’d rather be right next time this pops up if I’m wrong now though so can you elaborate OR link me to the post you said that does?

Seems a bit silly saying YOURE ALL WRONG but I’m not gonna tell you why.

Facebook isn't trying to be magic tho.The point of a magic trick is to fool

Analogies not your strong point either then.

There could be a way,I just don't have a clue what that might be

Right, so you understand that there may be things going on on FB that you don't understand how they work, yes? So you accept that you may be wrong?

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's been looking at your profile. There are many many ways FB can make these connections besides that. E.g. IP address, geolocation (and even if location services are off on your phone, it's still easy to discover location via other routes), phone contacts, WhatsApp contacts, etc.