37 weeks pregnant - house deal falls through

[physicskate]

I need some serious help. Mostly how to be ok with this shit situation. Sorry it's so long - don't want to dripfeed.

We found out I was pregnant at the end of July and I'm now 37 weeks. It was most unexpected as dd took years and ivf. Our expected little boy is a one hit wonder and could arrive at any time, but my gut says we've got 3-4 weeks.

So as soon as we knew the pregnancy was likely to progress (I've also had a couple of miscarriages), we knew we had to move. Our two bed is tiny and we don't have enough room as is. Toddler + newborn in this house isn't workable. This has been my mindset since last summer. I can't see any solution in our house and I now hate it. Literally hate it.

We accepted an offer on our house towards the end of September. Then went through the usual: got gazumped very quickly on a dream property. Finally had offer accepted on a place we both were happy with at the end of October.

We are in a three house chain, and we're the bottom. Our buyer and the house we're buying (and really us too) have been pushing for dates since January. I had visions that the house would be sorted before baby arrived, as I was about 16 weeks when we offered on the house.

Last week, we were told the top of the chain has charges on the property and that they were expecting to hear something each day. We did some research and found charges are either almost a no-brainier or a massive deal.

Yesterday, I spoke to the people directly above us (middle house) and they've now been told that none of the charges, that have existed for over 10 years, are sorted and that it doesn't look like there's enough equity to pay them. The house has been up for sale a number of times over the years and hasn't been sold (we now suspect these charges are to blame). The creditors are stalling as they either won't let the sale proceed or are going to make the asshole homeowner sweat, the irresponsible shit. Apparently no attempt had been made to sort these charges and they'd been kept hidden until at least mid-Feb.

We've been told we won't hear anything until April/ May and it's looking 50/50 that the whole things going to fall through. This will have been 6 months since the house above is offered on that property and 6/7 months since we offered on the house above. 8 bloody months since we had our offer.

A major draw for all concerned is the stamp duty holiday - saving us nearly £5k...

I've since learned I have absolutely no legal recourse - which is beyond crazy to me that I've spent money, divested funds that could have been making money, and when the deal falls apart, will likely have to pay stamp duty. Oh and if we sell and move to rental, we'd have to pay about £3k in early repayment fees for our mortgage. So if this deal falls apart, it will could us at least £10k in the long run. And yet I can do nothing about suing the pants off these assholes.

Why are verbal contracts binding in areas like employment but not property transactions??

In the meantime, we have absolutely no space for new baby. Nowhere to keep his clothes, a side cot/ Moses basket doesn't fit in our room (I moved into the nursery with dd when she was born until she was about a year). Most of our stuff is in storage and I don't even know the state of the Pram, if we kept steriliser etc... because we've been expecting to move at any time.

My over-riding thought is 'I don't want to be here anymore.' I am in a really dark place. I'm 37 weeks and have started losing plug. Braxton hicks all the time. I can't stop crying. I can't sleep and can't eat. And if someone says first world problems I literally might lose my mind. I know the stage of pregnancy I'm at is exacerbating all of this...

Sorry this is so long. What can I do? I can't see the wood for the trees. How do I cope? Will this likely lead to pnd if I can't get my head straight??

So here I am: fucked. My house is in boxes. I can't nest. I have nowhere to welcome my baby boy to and haven't been able to get things we do need because we just don't have anywhere to put it. But more importantly my head is super messed up because I just don't want to be here + hormones.

I'm in a similar position to you. I'm 36 weeks with dd2, and we were hoping to either move or extend before the baby arrives, but haven't been able to. Our house is a tiny 2 up 2 down, around 65 m². We haven't even got room for a changing table!

To fit the cot, we have to get rid of other furniture. What size doubld bed do you have? If it is king size, can you replace it with an ordinary double? Can you put shelves up to create storage space?

Prior to buying this house, we lost a few thousand on a house that we'd spent money on then the seller dumped us. I love the house we're in, but we did overpay for it. The seller named their price to take it off the market. We agreed to pay that price, as we were about to lose our buyers, after our sellers had no chain above them. I think if we had risked letting the seller receive other offers, we would have paid less. But we decided it was not worth the risk and would rather overpay. House buying in England is such a mess.

You definitely need to speak to your midwife about how you are feeling. You could be referred for some therapy to help you get through this difficult time.

OP, DD arrived 2 weeks early shortly after we moved into our new house. Unpacked boxes everywhere, had no time to get any baby stuff sorted. Was utterly, completely unprepared. But I promise if and when baby arrives he’ll be all you care about. DD would only sleep on me for the first 2 weeks anyway but bit by bit I got the essentials unpacked, it was fine. All you really need is crib or if intending to cosleep a sleepyhead/ whatever you’re using for that. A car seat. Baby bag with newborn essentials and your hospital bag. Some clothes for baby. That’s it! You’ll be fine, it’s chaotic but you’ll manage x

We have the same problem of lack of space for mil to stay too. She's going to come to look after dd1 whilst I'm in hospital. She is going to sleep in the lounge. I'm not looking forward to having another person using our only bathroom when I'm heavily pregnant, and after!

Spoke with our vendor. They're going to wait and see what happens. They don't have a ticking time bomb. I still don't know what we're going to do and I feel like every day really matters at this point!

Thanks for the useful suggestions - have added that storage thing to my current amazon basket.

Have looked briefly at rentals. Only one up for rent within 3 miles that is a three bed... and way above our price range!! Will have to consider (and look for and find further afield). Yay. More disruption for dd!

The problem with 'capsule wardrobe' is a) we've already done that and I (obviously) will be radically changing size over the next couple of months. All our clothes are in suitcases or storage. Literally have boxes etc coming out of my ears.

Those who said 6 months is unrealistic - how the fuck do people sell their house to move jobs?? Our previous purchase (we were first time buyers for this house) took 3 months. Everything I've read about time scales 4 months isn't unreasonable. We're at 6 with no end in sight and a deal that is 50/50 going to fall through at some unknown point in the future. I'll remind you how unrealistic you are three weeks from your due date.

I have a friend who part exchanged and moved within 3 months - and that was just before Xmas.

No no. This wasn't me having wildly unrealistic expectations (maybe slightly optimistic, but not unrealistic).

If this system is so broken, why the hell isnt everyone else up in arms about it!!!!?????? This is literally INSANE.

Can your vendor not move into rented to preserve their sale at least?

I think vendor our vendor is in a similar position - nothing to rent for miles around for a reasonable price. They've got two young kids. So they didn't like the idea of selling to rent... which is their right. They haven't done anything wrong but get involved in a shit deal themselves.

If this system is so broken, why the hell isnt everyone else up in arms about it!!!!?????? This is literally INSANE.

Probably because, of the many MANY problems with which our government has to deal, the system for buying and selling of property isn’t a priority right now. Speaking as someone who’s also recently been burned by it and is dreading having to start the whole process again sometime in the relatively near future.

The fact that every time estate agents open their mouths, an untruth comes out (or, if not an untruth, a superfluous reflexive), does not help.

If this system is so broken, why the hell isnt everyone else up in arms about it!!!!?????? This is literally INSANE.

Possibly because people forget once they have signed.

More likely because people feel protected and like the freedom of not being committed until the very last minute.

Should the market explode or crash, should you find better, you can walk out with minimal costs.

There should be a binding agreement, immediately after results of the survey or at least a deposit paid, but the whole concept of the sale needs to be updated.

But people don't want to be stuck with a certain price months ahead.

Those who said 6 months is unrealistic - how the fuck do people sell their house to move jobs??

they rent a room until the rest of the family moves!

3 months is lucky but VERY short. 6 months is not outrageous , and obviously a chain takes longer, and there is a lot of luck involved.

I was on the phone with my solicitor at least twice a week when I bought this house. The worst thing you can do is wait patiently.

You poor thing.

Get onto a letting agent today and find somewhere available immediately. Ask your DH, family and friends to help you move in. 6 month lease, or if not, 12 months with a 6 month break clause.

In the meantime, continue with your own house sale - the capital will help pay the rent.

Let go of the sunk costs, survey, stamp duty etc - they’ll be meaningless once you have your healthy baby safely home.

It's all well and good to say rent, but you take a risk if you feel the property market will change, it's expensive, and you will be in the same position at some point: having to give notice to leave the property and waiting for date of exchange. It's marginally easier, but you still have to commit for a few months.

Agreed, but your health and sanity and your family’s wellbeing have a greater value.

I had a really difficult birth last time and spd. I had a difficult recovery. Not expecting this birth to be easier and she is definitely a contingency plan for if it's all as difficult as last time. Especially seeing as I've a toddler to consider too. I've also heard that going from 1-2 can be really tough.

It takes a village. We haven't been allowed to have any 'village' and I certainly need it now!!

This sounds really stressful for you OP.

First thing I think you need to do is to mentally 'check out' of everything to do with houses/moving/etc. Just shut it off in your mind. Maybe it will go through, maybe it won't. Let DH deal with solicitors/other vendors etc. Don't start writing to MPs and trying to change the house purchase system - that's the hormones talking. Yes it's shit but you can't control it at all. You just need to focus on you and your baby now.

Even if the move does go through, it sounds like you won't be moving for a few weeks still. So just think about the next 4 weeks, say. It is 95% likely that by the end of those 4 weeks you will have a gorgeous new baby to snuggle. Try and make the space in your bedroom work - get a moses basket and some basic storage. If you can't face getting everything out of storage then just buy a couple of packs of vests/sleepsuits in 0-1 month and 0-3 months from the supermarket, it will only cost about £30 for everything. That is worth it for your mental health.

Once these next 4 weeks are over with, reevaluate where you are with the house. If it looks like you won't be able to move, then i'd sell to your buyers and move into rented. At least that's half the process done and dusted. Pay the £3k early repayment fee, it's worth it. You would only need a 2 bed rented house (baby will be in with you for a few months anyway) but just look for one thats a little bit bigger than your place now. It doesn't have to be perfect though. Then re-start the house hunt.

God, what a nightmare.

Ask on local FB groups if anyone knows of an available three bed/ v large two bed in the area, explaining the circumstances, with the aim of renting for six months and finalising your sale.

If that doesn't go then it's just a matter of (as you're already doing) maximising the space you have, even if it means one of you is sleepin in the living room or whatever. Let DH have a proper last go at finding whatever you need which is in storage, otherwise just breathe deeply and accept that you'll need to buy some duplicate items for your little one.

In the OP’s shoes I’d prefer a house sold with money in the bank and a move into rented rather than having to go through both selling and buying again in 12 months’ time.

At least this way one half of the equation is solved.

It’s tough OP. I always leave a year to sell, find and purchase a place. The last two times it’s been 10 months from our sale advert going live to completion date.

The last time we moved a week before we brought our baby home. Surrounded by boxes and I just had to dig out the baby necessities. It doesn’t matter, baby will be warm and safe and the rest will turn out ok in the end.

Sounds like a really stressful situation OP, while your expectations to move in six months were fairly realistic, things are taking longer generally now, a friend of mine has been waiting since last August as the vendors they are buying from are waiting for probate for example. It sounds in your case the upper chain will likely collapse as this house at the top seems to have significant issues therefore you are at the mercy of those you are buying from.

I would be preparing to stay put if I were you. Small babies really don’t need much space initially but you do need to feel comfortable at home. Make any adjustments you can in order to feel comfortable, even if that means moving beds/furniture as others have said.