Child's mother really overstepping the mark

[angryrobloxmum]

Sorry this is long.

Have name changed for this as could be quite outing. It’s more of a what would you do rather than ambu.

My dd is 9 and like a lot of 9 year old girls has been playing Roblox over lockdown and staying in touch with her class friends this way too. Now 9 year old girls can all be pretty horrible to each other, it goes with the territory. They fall out and makeup again multiple times a day sometimes. There is one girl in my dd’s class that has form for bullying. I’ve previously had to get the school involved as this girl was telling all the other kids they had to run away from her (small village school) and wouldn’t let her play with anyone.

Now this girl is incredibly spoilt, child model, own instigram page type. Very precious with a typical tiger mum. Her child has to be the most popular, best at everything, win every sports day etc.

My dd has been in group chats with friends on Roblox where this girl has also been present. There has been a certain amount of friction between them, but with lots of other friends present not so much a problem.

Anyway I was preparing dinner in the kitchen and shouted through to ask dd what she was doing. She shouts back that she’s talking to Janes mum (not real name). I’m like wtf and quickly go and see what’s happening, but just get the tail end of the conversation and the mother is saying that any silliness stops now etc. Some of dd’s schools friends point out to the mother (who’s logged on her own account) that Jane is guilty of bullying my dd to which the mother replies that bullying is a strong word and that this isn’t school. Anyway it goes and the mother leaves. My daughter and friends were left scared and upset.

I can’t understand why the mother felt the need to tell children off over social media rather than go to the parents.

I’m quite a quiet person and hate confrontation, but I’m so angry about this and just don’t know what to do.

I dont have anything against other parents telling my kid off (within reason)
Me too, if their friends misbehave here I'd have a word with them.
Tiger mum You don't know what happened Tiger mum is extremes.

I've been in a similar situation, where a couple of girls have been getting very snarky with my eldest dd. One of the messages was "you have 1 hour to get me that pet in Adopt Me, or I'm not your friend anymore!" Fuck that. I intervened and replied in the chat, but stayed neutral as I do think it has the potential to escalate when you start telling off other people's kids.

Thanks for the replies everyone. Just for the record, tiger mum singled out my dd and another child and from what I read she was accusing my dd and her friend of bullying while completely dismissing her own daughters actions.

It's now a problem at school as well, I have had the school involved fir the past 2 years now. Jane is very manipulative and apparently makes a big show of being kind to my dd and then being mean when no one is watching.

She had previously told all girls in her class that they were not allowed to play with dd and had to run away from her, and yes the school did know this was happening

It was done on in game chat so was not saved

Just speak to Tiger mom directly and ask what happened. Then take the opportunity to tell her what her daughter has done and how it won't be tolerated any longer. Also, let her know in no uncertain terms that she is not to speak to your daughter directly again, she has to come to you. This is your chance to demonstrate how to deal with bullies to your daughter. Write it all out and practise beforehand if you feel nervous.

Perhaps it would be best for all concerned if your daughter and Jane did not interact with each other, particularly on social media?

@mbosnz

Perhaps it would be best for all concerned if your daughter and Jane did not interact with each other, particularly on social media?

I totally agree. Jane is blocked.

My dd has had problems with her since going back to school on Monday. They are obviously in the same class. It's a very small village school with a mixed year 4 and 5 group, with that group not even making 30 children.

Dd was so sad to go to school this morning, I have told her to totally avoid Jane wherever possible

Dd has been at this school since starting preschool at age 3, she is one of the oldest in her class so there was only 5 children to start with.

I really don't want to have to move schools, but at the same time dd has gone from loving school to really sad about school.

Hopefully the school can try and manage the situation

I wonder how many of these replies have 9 year old daughters.
My daughter is 10 plays online and chats with friends and they do fall out on and off and can be unkind to each other and left to sort themselves out it mostly blows over.
Except when there's one kids mum who is to take it on themselves to tell everyone off usually because their kid is the biggest shit so they intervene before it comes back to them.
Snakes.

My oldest daughter is 9 nearly 10.

I wouldn’t and don’t let her on games where she can chat unsupervised and if I was silly enough to do so and my daughter was being bitchy I would be fine with another parent telling her to chill out or whatever.

But there is no way this mum would have stepped in to the chat if your daughter hadn’t been doing what she was accused of.

@MintyMabel

But there is no way this mum would have stepped in to the chat if your daughter hadn’t been doing what she was accused of.

Perhaps the OP's DD was defending herself, none of us have any idea of what was said

Fuck me the perfect parent brigade is out! The OP isn’t asking for people’s opinion on her child using social media she’s asking if the grown woman who took it upon herself to scold her daughter was out of line. She was massively by the way, even more so when her child’s the problematic one! I personally would be on the phone to her to ask why she thinks that’s okay!

Thanks!! I'm a strong believer in letting the girls sort it out among themselves unless things get serious. There will always be people like Jane and tiger mum in life to deal with in life so it's not necessary or fair to fight their battles for them.

Just for the record my daughter is rarely left unsupervised with Roblox, she just happened to be this time as I was distracted with getting dinner ready. I often check what is happening between her and her friends. Also, I'm sure she's not totally innocent in all of this, but she's not a bully either.

The other mum is an acquaintance only so I don't have her number or her on social media

'Also, I'm sure she's not totally innocent in all of this, but she's not a bully either.'

You know, I imagine that Jane's mother is very likely saying exactly the same thing.