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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Car seat

36 replies

Scarling · 08/03/2021 17:44

DH measured DS8 at the weekend. 135cm. They were both elated. Car seat got taken to the tip and ceremoniously dumped in a skip on Sunday.

DS has just asked me to measure him again. He isb130cm tall. 131 at a push.

WIBU to insist we buy him another car seat?

DH, by the way, is an Engineer and measures things very precisely on a daily basis.

OP posts:
Jumpers268 · 08/03/2021 17:53

I work in car insurance claims. No you are not being unreasonable to insist on another car seat.

Nellythemouse · 08/03/2021 17:54

Even at over 135cm I wouldn’t bin my child’s car seat until he couldn’t fit into it. Or maybe secondary school. At 8 and not even 135cm I’d be buying a new seat. 135cm is a bare minimum and moving out of a car seat isn’t really a celebratory right of passage thing.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/03/2021 17:54

I wonder why ds asked you to measure him again - did he know dh didnt do it right?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 08/03/2021 17:57

My DD is 145cm. She uses a car seat (now just the cushion) as it's more comfortable that having the seatbelt across her neck.

Other European countries have a 150cm limit.

incandescentglow · 08/03/2021 17:57

i get the feeling your DS maybe stretched to seem taller, and now feels guilty hence the remeasuring request? I can't imagine why else he would ask you to

also if your DH is generally good at measuring i wouldnt blame him

Sirzy · 08/03/2021 17:59

I wouldn’t have got rid at 8 anyway!

Ds is 11 and 143cm and still in a hbb

Scarling · 08/03/2021 18:06

He asked again because he's desperate to be tall enough to go on a ride at a theme park near us when it reopens.

Thank you, I thought I was perhaps being a bit OTT by insisting on a new one. Completely agree with the general consensus.

OP posts:
Crazycakelady17 · 08/03/2021 18:17

My DD is 11 and 141cm and still in a HBB she starts high school in September she hasn’t mentioned getting rid of it yet so going to hold off as long as possible.
You would probably be okay getting just a bottom bit rather than a HBB he’s still rather young at 8 both my boys were 10 and they were considerably taller than DD

Jumpers268 · 08/03/2021 18:48

You shouldn't be using a booster seat / car seat at 135cm+ tall.

www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules#:~:text=Children%20must%20normally%20use%20a,your%20child's%20height%20or%20weight.

Nellythemouse · 08/03/2021 19:09

“You shouldn't be using a booster seat / car seat at 135cm+ tall.“

Piffle. Of course you can. Some other countries legally require it.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/03/2021 19:12

I'd measure him again in the morning, together.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/03/2021 19:14

I'm always by the people on mnet who keep kids in car seats till they can barely cram their arses in. I don't know anyone in RL who has done this, everyone I know has binned it the instant their child measured 135cm.

Scarling · 08/03/2021 19:15

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland DH was there when I remeasured him and agreed that he was wrong.

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 08/03/2021 19:16

Also I wouldnt go and buy a HBB I would buy a booster cushion at that height.

MyLittleOrangutan · 08/03/2021 19:17

I think your husband was silly to bin the car seat when your son met the minimum legal limit for not using a seat. The car seat we'll be getting goes up to 150cm. Why would you choose the minimum legal safety measures?

DemiBourbon · 08/03/2021 19:22

@Jumpers268 I think the info on that link means that if your child is 135cm+ and has stopped using a car seat they must then use the seatbelt (rather than rattling around the car untethered). I don’t think it means it’s unsafe for them to continue using a car seat at over 135cm.

SchoolMarks · 08/03/2021 19:27

This has always intrigued me. In a lot of European countries it’s 150cm, not 135. What did the people do who (pre-COVID obviously), after chucking theirs as soon as their DC hit 135, went on holiday to a country with a 150cm requirement?

PaperMonster · 08/03/2021 19:33

135cm is legal, but not necessarily safe. Very definitely need a new car seat.

BertieBotts · 08/03/2021 19:35

If he's under 135cm it's actually illegal for him not to have one. Whether you'd actually get picked up on this is another question, but it has been made law for a reason - seatbelts tend not to fit children well below this height, which can cause a pattern of injury known as "seatbelt syndrome" - you can google this if you like, essentially internal bleeding and abdominal injuries. They can also "submarine" under the belt if they are slouching, which can be even worse.

It could just be a booster cushion, indeed. He's likely to be tall enough that the shoulder belt will fit him well enough on one of those. However if you ever do properly long drives where he might fall asleep, or you just want the side impact protection, he'd be better off with a full sized one. If you do this I'd go for a really tall one so that you'll get your money's worth!

We now live somewhere it's 150cm, so I do know the feeling - DS1 was badgering me to measure him every day and gleefully refused to use the car seat as soon as he reached that height! But we'd travelled to the UK a couple of years before when he was just 135cm, and I found he was OK in some cars without the booster seat, whereas in other cars he really didn't fit the seatbelt properly without one. By 150cm he really fits fine in all cars in all seatbelts.

What you could do is sit him in the car without a booster seat and assess where the seatbelt sits across him. You're looking for these points:

  • Shoulder belt should cross his collarbone and not rub his neck
  • Lap belt should cross his hips or thighs, not the soft abdomen

As a third point to note, you want him to sit in a natural and comfortable way, which means that he should bend his legs over the edge of the chair. If this causes his bum to be further forward than the seat crease, it will likely push the belt up onto his tummy and neck, even if it fits correctly when he's sitting back. He should also slouch in the way he would over time in the car for a proper measurement - otherwise, the belt might fit him well in your test but as soon as you actually get into the car and drive any distance, it won't be fitting him properly any more. That's not only more risky if you crashed, it's also less comfortable for him, so he might be tempted to do things like put the seatbelt under his arm (which is really dangerous!)

IME when DS1 was 135cm tall, his legs were just a bit too short to bend over the edge in most cars, so he most definitely scooted/slouched forward and that caused the rest of the belt to fit incorrectly. So the poor kid was destined to a booster for another 15cm, but at least I knew he was safe and comfortable!

FTEngineerM · 08/03/2021 19:37

So, short adults < 150cm tall have to have booster seats? In some EU countries?

BertieBotts · 08/03/2021 19:37

I would add it's perfectly legal to keep using them after 135cm or even 150cm if you can find one that fits! 135cm / 12 years is just the minimum to stop using one, it means you can't be fined if your child is over that height or age. There's nothing to say you shouldn't keep using one if you want to and they fit into it.

BertieBotts · 08/03/2021 19:38

No, all countries have an age maximum as well as a height maximum.

BertieBotts · 08/03/2021 19:39

I expect if people go on holiday, they either don't bother to look up the local law and never have an issue - I would imagine police aren't routinely flagging people down with tape measures - or they take a lightweight backless booster.

Sirzy · 08/03/2021 19:43

@FTEngineerM

So, short adults < 150cm tall have to have booster seats? In some EU countries?
No they will have ages too because it also depends on the stages of physical development.

But as an adult who is only just over 150cm there are some cars where the seat belt doesn’t sit as comfortably that’s for sure!

AWhisperWillDoIfThatsAllYouCan · 08/03/2021 19:50

@Jumpers268

What are you talking about? Do you seriously think that as soon as a kid reaches 135cm talk then you are no longer allowed to use a car seat? What has made you think that?

It's the legal minimum before you are allowed to remove the seat; it isnt the legal lube where the seat becomes not allowed.

My kids are both over the height, but we very skinny but they're still safely fitting in their cat seats.