to find MILs comments invasive and unnecessary?

[Twobirdsinatree]

we aren't close with my MIL. We dont have any big issue between us its just never been a close relationship. She didn't come to our wedding despite being invited (she cancelled half an hour before the service by texting my husband which was a bit wierd.. he's her only child and that was his only wedding) she's never visited our house once and we've been married 7 years, together ten... we live aboit an hour away from her and at one point for 6 months we lived twenty mins away but she still never came round.
I've got a 6yo and a 2.5yo and she's had the 6yo overnight once in his entire life.. shes never looked after my youngest even for an hour.
Shes never asked to either. We do take the children round to see her every now and again and she's friendly enough. She never rings us. Very occasionally she texts my husband.
Before we were together my husband lived in London for 20 years and she never visited him once.

So its a little odd but basically I dont mind about any of that.. I dont have a big family myself so I'm not used to much family stuff... my own parents live abroad and I only see them once a year and they barely ring us... so there's no bad will about this lack of input on my part..

However last night she texted then rang which is very unusual for her.
She texted she had seen a picture of my daughter on Facebook and she had a cut on her face and she was concerned. No more info than that just that she was 'concerned' she then left my husband a voicemail saying she needed to chat to him.
So he rang her and she started talking about various things like how when her boyfriend had delivered us Christmas presents and my husband opened the door, my daughter was walking down stairs on her own (?!) She asked about the scratches on my daughters face... these scratches were from two different occasions. We live ina rural area and a couple of them were from her tripping over into some brambles... one scratch was from where my thumbnail caught her when she ran into my arms in her bedroom.
So my husband explained but she kept asking why the scratch hadn't healed if it was just from my thumbnail (?!)
She wouldn't actually say what her problem was or exactly why she had rung..
It was really odd...
I'm kind of offended but also confused
Do you think shes trying to imply we hurt our daughter or something? I dont really know what she wanted tbh...
Its really odd because she takes so little interest in our lives usually.
I have had this problem with her on Facebook over the years tho.
Shes texted a couple of times disapprovingly about photos shes seen
Once because she though I was on a railway track (I was actually on a bridge you just couldn't see the bridge in the photo) and one because we were in the ruins of an old church and she thought it wasnt safe..
But these were texts she never rings us...

Do you think the problem is Facebook? Should I block her from the photos?
It just irritates me that she has so little to do with us but yet feels within her rights to criticise us based on photographs...

Am I overreacting? Should I just ignore her?

I just dont get what the point is?

Remove her from your friends list

That’s weird, like enquiring once I understand but repeatedly asking is weird. If remove her from Facebook

I’d

Change your settings so she can’t see what you post. I have done it for my SiL. Saves a lot of bother.

@ComDummings
It is really weird. She never rings us so why ring us over this? And what did she actually want? Can't work it out at all..

Is it anxiety? Seems odd.

@sonjadog yes I think im just going to have to change my privacy settings each time I post so she doesnt see things.. its such a massive faff tho.. I honestly feel like just blocking her but my husband said that was hostile.. I feel a bit hostile tho its really irritated me

Yeah, limit who you share photos with. And don't bother investing time or effort with this woman. People like this don't change.

@ancientgran
Yes my husband says she has anxiety and always has done
Things is i also have anxiety disorder but I cant fathom this behaviour I dont understand what the purpose of her call was at all? Surely she can't have found it reassuring?
The thing is on the photos I had put up of my daughter I had mentioned she had scratched her face in a Bush so that information was already there... so why ring up?

Put her on restricted settings, then whenever you post, set the posts for friends except restricted.

Won’t be a faff.

I’d be worried she had sinister motives, but you’ve said she barely bothers with your family. It is odd.

That's really weird. I would change your setting so she cant see the photos.

Also kids are clumsy so a couple of scratches here and there is not exactly a big deal. To be fair I'm really clumsy and constantly have mystery bruises so not surprised my son sho is still learning to walk is a disaster.

And she didn't just want to chat generally she just kept asking about these scratches and bringing up the other things that kinda felt like she was implying we didn't care for our daughter well.. but when my husband outright asked her if she thought we were bad parents she said 'oh no'
I dont get it at all we were just sat there afterwards trying to work out what on earth it was all about and what she actually wanted

@Aimee1987
Well exactly and these weren't cuts they were scratches. They hadn't even needed plasters just a wash and a dab of sudocrem.

Why are you investing this much time and emotional energy into someone who did not attend your wedding?

Hide your photos from her, she sounds like a loon

MIL sounds a bit strange, is she quite well?

If she isn’t actually bothering with you, DH and DD, she doesn’t need to see what’s on your Facebook or his for that matter. I suspect if it wasn’t a scratch she’d find something else to criticize. Look at your privacy settings, and make sure she can’t access the pictures from anyone else on Facebook

@TotorosFurryBehind
Well shes my children's grandmother and my husbands mum...
And its just a bit offensive. The implication was we were harming our child.. I think that would wind anyone up
It has got my heckles up more than normal ill admit

Move on from this woman. She adds nothing to your family's life and she is also a mentalist.

Blocking her from your Facebook account is your business not your husband's. Why would he even know?

Set her to limited access so she can’t see your photos. I’d be concerned about her putting a call into social services with those remarks so would be protecting my family from that. Even if my husband did find it ‘hostile’

its such a massive faff tho

are you always this dramatic?

I would block her, nothing to do with your dh.
She sounds like she could be ill though. It's not like she constantly interferes, in fact the contrary.
It's sad she didn't come to the wedding, do you think that was due to anxiety?

She has forgotten she had a ds. Don't bring to anyone's attention she is in any way a concern of yours. Block in every way op..

Going from little contact to helicoptering is odd but familiar. She only seems to surface when she's got a safety bee in her bonnet and is prone to misjudging these situations. Maybe it's anxiety mixed with faulty logic at work here? As others have said, alter your social media settings and restrict her access.

It's not a faff to block people from seeing posts on FB, I do it for some family member because they disapprove of swearing

When you next post just click the privacy button at the top and click the 'visible to everyone but' section and click her name - usually that remains then for all posts until you unclick them.

She sounds like one of those who shows very little interest but then makes huge assumptions from the little bits she does see/hear and then act like her assumptions are truths.

I'd be steering as clear as possible.