To stab him over biscuits?

[Chanandlerbong01]

lighthearted-ish

DP bought two packs of biscuits yesterday. As soon as I started I knew I would inhale all of them, after a couple I asked him to hide them and not tell me where they are for the rest of the night.

Today I am a new person, I want all of the biscuits. He won’t tell me where they are because he promised and I can’t find them anywhere. He keeps smirking when I ask, should I pull up the patio ready?

YANBU. You said keep them from you last night, not forever. Patio is too good for him, you should pour honey over him and staple his balls to a beehive.

should I pull up the patio ready?

Yes

He should know when you say hide the biscuits that you'll still want the biscuits. Call the police and report a theft.

@PuntasticUsername

YANBU. You said keep them from you last night, not forever. Patio is too good for him, you should pour honey over him and staple his balls to a beehive.

With knobs on!

OMG LTB (locate the biscuits) immediately.

I just don’t know where they could be

Can we swap dp's? If I ask mine to hide the biscuits, he puts them on a different shelf of the pantry. He's a bloody enabler.

@Chanandlerbong01

I just don’t know where they could be

He has eaten them all!

But yes, do tell him that his little joke has had its moment and if his next smirk is not accompanied by a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits he will be forcefully reminded where his most sensitive bits dangle!

YABU to make a joke about domestic violence. No one would make a "lighthearted" joke about racism or disability - a joke about stabbing your husband should also be acceptable.

He’s caved! I was balancing on the side of the sink to see above cupboards and he got them before I hurt myself.... they were hung up in my coat pocket!

Phew! Lucky escape for him.

I do need to know what kind of biscuits they are (were) though.

In the words of Manuel: "I know nothing; I forget everything"

Have you checked under the spare tyre in his car? He could've stashed them in there.

I think digging up the patio is perfectly reasonable!

Custard creams and jammy dodgers!

Chanandlerbong01

I just don’t know where they could be“

He’s eaten them.
Don’t waste your depleted energy on the patio. The wheelie bin is good enough for the greedy .

Concealment of custard creams would be a hanging offence in my house! Jammie dodgers, meh, not so much....

I think you need to pre agree limits - possibly with a code word? Eg I would have got DH to hide the packets too, but he knows he needs to produce 2 biscuits (3 if I'm on my period) if I request seriously.

God I fancy a JD now

@MuddyWalks

YABU to make a joke about domestic violence. No one would make a "lighthearted" joke about racism or disability - a joke about stabbing your husband should also be acceptable.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

They're in the cupboard under the stairs.

God I fancy a JD now

None left here I’m afraid

He hid them in your coat? What if you had said fuck it I'm off to buy more and put your coat on?

I hide chocolate in the salad drawer and cashew nuts in an empty Ovaltine jar. Has worked for 13 years 🤣

@Chanandlerbong01

He’s caved! I was balancing on the side of the sink to see above cupboards and he got them before I hurt myself.... they were hung up in my coat pocket!

Silly dod has lost a good hiding place now! He should have sent you into another room with the promise of tea & 3 biscuits! ☕️🍪

@MRex

They're in the cupboard under the stairs.

Not unless the OP is in there too!! 🤣