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Original poster

Trying to buy out ex from property and he’s refusing to cooperate

32 replies

Mango85 · 05/03/2021 17:59

Hi there, I’m really struggling with dealing with my ex. We broke up seven months ago and I’ve been living in the property we bought together and I would like to buy him out which I should be able to afford. Our situation is that I had some family money when we bought the house and also had just started a business so didn’t qualify to go on the mortgage. The mortgage is in his name as is the house but I own more than half the house through the capital I put in which we have a declaration of trust for. I then put further money in for a loft conversion which he didn’t contribute to and we don’t have a declaration of trust for. Now he’s refusing mediation and threatening to default on the mortgage. He lost his job a year ago and his idea of contributing to our daughter is the petrol he pays for to visit her every other weekend and him paying for the mortgage despite me making an offer that I thought was reasonable to buy him out last August.

We only restarted conversions about the buy out recently and it seems like he is trying to discredit the declaration of trust and seems to want half of the equity I put in. He’s also refusing mediation. I took an ex to small claims court before and my feeling is that I’m going to have to go legal with my ex as our viewpoint is so far away from each other’s I just can’t see us resolving this between us and I think it will really damage our relationship. We actually get on okay if we avoid talking about anything stressful. He’s a bit unstable and I do feel a bit sorry for him but at the same time, he left me, barely looks after our daughter and I don’t feel he should financially benefit from our relationship apart from through the investment he made in our property and being paid a fair price for it (we were not married). Can anyone offer any advice on how to move forward. Would an order for sale work although I don’t want to sell the house, I just want to buy him out. Apologies if this is not the right thread. Got a bit confused trying to post a thread!

OP posts:
NotAgainNoMore · 05/03/2021 18:13

A court wont look favourably on him if he refuses mediation. Could you afford legal fees? Could you afford to take over the mortgage payments? Could you get a 'mesher order' so you can stay in the house until your DC has left education? If he defaults, the mortgage company could force a sale. Is there much equity?
I think it's time to seek legal advice otherwise this could get complicated. Maybe a solicitors letter spelling out your entitlement etc could push him to take action.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 05/03/2021 18:41

definitely get legal advice, the sooner the better. If he is trying to ignore the declaration of trust, you can't really rely on anything he says or that you agree outside of legal channels in the hope of "not damaging the relationship".

Viviennemary · 05/03/2021 18:46

Are you married? You certainly need legal advice. But I doubt you can force a sale if the house is in his sole name and you are not on the mortgage.

Sciurus83 · 05/03/2021 18:48

Lawyer

Crazycatlady83 · 05/03/2021 18:49

Get legal advice and act sooner rather than later to issue a TOLATA. You can also ask the court to order a transfer or sale if he won’t agree. Get your “ducks in a row” and make sure you can take over the mortgage or get another mortgage to pay off the existing one. These are expensive applications though so it might be worth trying to tempt your ex with some extra cash just to make him go away. Your solicitor will advise on costs and then you can make up your mind.

Don’t delay as if he defaults on the mortgage it could end up costing you a lot more.

PotteringAlong · 05/03/2021 18:50

You need legal advice. Were you married?

hibbledibble · 05/03/2021 18:52

It sounds like you need legal advice asap. You have put yourself in a vulnerable position by not marrying, and not having the property in joint names.

Aprilx · 05/03/2021 18:54

I don’t think anyone can make any sensible comments until you clarify whether this was an ex boyfriend or an ex husband. It will change the legalities quite significantly.

NotAgainNoMore · 05/03/2021 19:05

OP is not married to her ex.

Original poster
Mango85 · 05/03/2021 20:28

Thanks for the comments so far, I have significant equity in the property and can easily afford the mortgage if it’s a figure that is reasonable and proportional to what he’s put in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mango85 · 05/03/2021 20:32

I hadn’t heard of a ToLATA, thanks for highlighting that. I’ve had some legal advice which generally said try and agree something amicably otherwise it will be costly but I think plan b is going to have to start being implemented!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mango85 · 05/03/2021 20:35

Any ideas on how costly these types of cases are. Is it thousands or tens of thousands? If it’s up to £10k I think it might be worth doing but if it’s beyond that I think a bit extra to get him to go away is worth it. Sorry if that’s a naive question, I really have no idea but will try and get proper legal advice next week. Also, don’t know where to start with that either! Any tips on how to work out a good solicitor to go with?

OP posts:
Ffsffsffsffsffs · 05/03/2021 20:54

I don't think buying him out will be as good an option as forcing a sale. Was the deed of trust done properly?

You are not on the mortgage or deeds - you will be purchasing in your own right, not paying him out for his share.

My understanding is that he can absolutely refuse to sell to you (unless ordered to do so, or you offer the price a judge agrees it will sell for).

If you have evidence he is refusing mediation - even if it costs you one appointment which he refuses to engage with - then you can submit an application to court. You don't need to pay huge fees for this if you're confident enough to take it on yourself initially, though it might be worth having a solicitors advice on an ad hoc basis. Try wikivorce chat forum for free legal advice.

Mesher orders are very very rare these days, and only apply during divorce proceedings so not applicable in OP's case.

Original poster
Mango85 · 05/03/2021 22:08

The deed of trust was done properly but only for the first part of equity I put in. The other work which was around £80k we don’t have any documentation for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mango85 · 05/03/2021 22:13

Thanks for the information about mediation too, he is refusing it. I don’t feel that uncomfortable with submitting an application to court. I feel that I have everything in black and white showing my contributions. I just wish he would be reasonable so we could discuss things together rather than having to resort to all this. He’s also threatening that when he is set up with somewhere to live that our dd should go and live with him. I feel he’s trying to use her as a weapon. Does anyone know what would happen if he defaults on the mortgage while I’m trying to take him to court?

OP posts:
Ffsffsffsffsffs · 06/03/2021 04:54

If he doesn't pay the mortgage on a house in his name, he screws his own credit file. Simple as.

Eventually the bank will repossess, but this will be months and months down the line, and at least you'd get your original deed of trust amount returned. The second part is going to be very tricky to claim I suspect.

Youllbeoldertoo · 06/03/2021 07:55

Get a pit bull solicitor. It will be worth the money.

PotteringAlong · 06/03/2021 09:18

I don’t think you’ve answered the question about Whether or not you were married? Because, in terms of house ownership, I think you are in a much stronger position if you were as the house isn’t in your name.

If it’s in his name and he stops paying the mortgage then he just defaults until the house is repossessed.

LilMidge01 · 06/03/2021 09:26

I'm a bit confused by your claim that you "own" more than half the house...you dont if your name is not on the deed or mortgage. Without knowing the details of your declaration of trust, it sounds like the legal position is: He owns the house and you gifted him money for this. You protected your money invested via a declaration that presumably if he sold the house you would get your investment back. However you do not own a "share" in the house and therefore (again, unless something is specified in your declarstion) you cant force him to sell the house to you or anyone else. ?!
I would seek legal advice asap before considering taking him to any legal challenge as it sounds like you could be mistaken as to the level of protection your current declaration affords you.
(I.e the declaration protects your money, not your interest in the house)
Good luck

honeylulu · 06/03/2021 10:15

However you do not own a "share" in the house

She does. She is a beneficial owner, as set out by the trust documents. The ex has legal ownership of the title but he holds her share on her behalf. It is not his to dispose of freely.

OP, can you contact the mortgage company, provide a summary and copy of the trust docs and propose that you will take over the payments. They will rather have someone paying than the hassle of repossession. then apply to court for an order for sale/transfer including all relevant information (including any evidence that you funded the loft extension), stating what share you consider equitably yours and what is ex's - you will need to allow for the mortgage payments he has made to be fair and reasonable. You may be able to pay a solicitor to prepare the docs for you and then self represent. transfer

If the court makes the order and ex refused to sign the transfer docs then you can apply for the judge to do this on his behalf.

The fact that you and daughter occupy the property and ex doesn't will be a factor in your favour.

You seem to be thinking of the mortgage payments he is making as in lieu of child maintenance but it doesn't work like that especially if you're unmarried. All its doing is gradually increasing his share of the equity. Apply for CMS and k eep that a separate issue.

Bee0fSpring1 · 06/03/2021 10:24

Why did you put so much money into a property which is not in your name ? I've read on here previously that you can register a legal " interest" in a property ( sorry I can't remember the correct term)
Suggest contacting a solicitor to do this correctly

Secondly, if the property is not in your name, how do you expect to force a sale ?

bp300 · 06/03/2021 13:25

@honeylulu

However you do not own a "share" in the house

She does. She is a beneficial owner, as set out by the trust documents. The ex has legal ownership of the title but he holds her share on her behalf. It is not his to dispose of freely.

OP, can you contact the mortgage company, provide a summary and copy of the trust docs and propose that you will take over the payments. They will rather have someone paying than the hassle of repossession. then apply to court for an order for sale/transfer including all relevant information (including any evidence that you funded the loft extension), stating what share you consider equitably yours and what is ex's - you will need to allow for the mortgage payments he has made to be fair and reasonable. You may be able to pay a solicitor to prepare the docs for you and then self represent. transfer

If the court makes the order and ex refused to sign the transfer docs then you can apply for the judge to do this on his behalf.

The fact that you and daughter occupy the property and ex doesn't will be a factor in your favour.

You seem to be thinking of the mortgage payments he is making as in lieu of child maintenance but it doesn't work like that especially if you're unmarried. All its doing is gradually increasing his share of the equity. Apply for CMS and k eep that a separate issue.

I agree with the poster that says she doesn't have a share in the house.

I can think of loads of ways she could end up with nothing or a much a lower share of the equity than she has put in.
He sells property for value of mortgage only.
He sells property to for Value of mortgage and accepts the rest of the money in cash / bitcoin.
He sets up company which buys property for value of mortgage.
He defaults on mortgage.
He sells an option to someone to purchase the property for the price for the balance of the mortgage.
He sells the property in an obscure auction somewhere to ensure it achieves the lowest sale price as possible.
I would say giving away half the equity is a very good result as currently she has nothing.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2021 17:04

Obviously you need legal advice. But I don't see why you should expect him to co-operate in the sale of a house that he owns and is paying the mortgage on. it isn't your house. It's his house. I'd say you are only entitled to get back the money you put it on the sale of the house. I'm also surprised a building society granted a mortgage in those circumstances. I agree you need clarification on what exactly you are entitled to.

honeylulu · 06/03/2021 19:05

I agree with the poster that says she doesn't have a share in the house

She has a beneficial share held in trust. This is recognised legally. I'm a solicitor.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2021 19:49

So does that share go up in proportion to the value of the house at the time of sale. Or down even. And its only one lump sum that is under this Deed of trust. The other £80k has no documentation.