Inheritance Shame

[Lockdownschmockdown]

Nc for this because might well get flamed.
My parents worked incredibly hard when I was growing up. We had a big house, v modest family holiday abroad once a year and I went to a private school but there was not much spare cash.
They came into money in their late 40s and retired immediately. Since then, they have enjoyed copious amounts of worldwide travel, extending a new house, plenty of socialising and hobbies, private dental care with full implants etc.
Now they are in their 80s and their money has almost run out.They own their house outright but this is the extent of their wealth. They are fine with this as their money has seen them through a great life, especially the last 35 years.
Most of me is really pleased they had such a great life and i should not expect an inheritance. A part of me is upset that they didn’t think to save a bit for me. I’m a single parent in a challenging, low paid job (which I love and wouldn’t change for the world) and £50k would be life-changing. Also, I’m only a few years off the age they were when they gave everything up and retirement seems so far away.
One of my main life goals is to earn enough to set my kids up as well as possible for when I’m gone. I couldn’t imagine keeping all my (imaginary) wealth for myself. I’m sad I guess that my parents didn’t feel the same way.
Should say that we have a good relationship and they did give me a small sum for a house deposit about 25 years ago. I think it was £20k.
So AiBU and a grabby cow?
Or do you see where I’m coming from?

[YesItsAPeacock]

@Lockdownschmockdown

It’s not that I want or need their money particularly. I get by fine and am pretty frugal and my kids certainly know the value of money, though we don’t go without.

It’s more that sharing it seems never to have crossed their minds, except for the house deposit which was an amazing gift as it got me on the housing ladder young and I am very grateful for it.

I reckon they inherited several millions though and proportionally its not much.

It’s more the desire to have a ball without considering their offspring much that I can’t relate to. I’d sooner live in a caravan and give my kids everything.

And someone mentioned I’d get the house, well not necessarily if they need care.

What a load of sanctimonious crap. Do you want a medal?

You’re not living in a caravan, are you? You don’t even have to contemplate such a thing because you’re so privileged you think £20k in the 90s is a small amount of money.

There’s no way in the world you’d live in a caravan for the sake of “setting up your kids”. Whatever that means - apparently a private education and a house deposit doesn’t meet the definition.

Get a grip.

[Lockdownschmockdown]

At no point have I said that it was an inheritance. It was more along the lines of a lottery win type thing.

[Ermidunno]

[quote Lockdownschmockdown]@Bluntness100 I have invested in a property portfolio but that is not the point of this thread.[/quote]
So yet again proving you’re in a much better financial position than most of the nation.

[echt]

This thread beggars belief. And I mean the OP.

[SleepingStandingUp]

How much is the property likely to be owrth@Lockdownschmockdown , how many siblings to share with?

[therealteamdebbie]

echt
What violence? What jealousy? Bitterness?

What do you call the abuse and insults against the OP?

[JustLyra]

@Lockdownschmockdown you have a “low paid job” that you declare you “wouldn’t change for the world” so how does that tie in with doing everything to set your kids up financially being your main aim?

[Bimblybomeyelash]

If your parents inherited at your age, then their own parents must have died? Would you like yours to hurry up and die?

[ilovesooty]

@rattlemehearties

Have you had therapy op? Actually they did give you a lot - private education, house deposit etc but you still think they did not ... Is it attention and love from them you're after?

Why does she need therapy?

To the OP - I do agree with the earlier posters that 20K isn't a small sum.

[JustLyra]

@Lockdownschmockdown

At no point have I said that it was an inheritance. It was more along the lines of a lottery win type thing.

Yes you did

I reckon they inherited several millions though and proportionally its not much.

[GrumpyHoonMain]

@therealteamdebbie

What's depressing is how violently some posters react at the thought of someone going to private schools and receiving 20k. I mean it's not petty change, but come on, it's hardly life-changing, the jealousy and bitterness is completely over-the-top.

House prices for some small 3 bed in Limehouse (Zone 2 in London) were between 120k-160k back then. I remember because in 1998 I was asked if I wanted to buy one. It was a huge sum of money back then but 20k would still have covered up to 12% of the value!!

[SleepingStandingUp]

I think what's more irresponsible is having potentially 15-20 years left and having no financial plan for it - sell the house and move into rented? Sell the house and move into a nice care home? Sell it to one of those people where you can keep on living there?

[EugenesAxe]

I'm right on the fence with this... I can understand where you're coming from but at the same time, if they choose to spend their money rather than ensuring some for the next generations, then it's fair enough.

Inheritances are like bonuses. You shouldn't expect them or depend on them, but if they are given to you, then use them wisely. They don't usually come without some sacrifice on the part of the recipient, whether hard work or the loss of loved ones.

[BugsAndBeesAndBirdsAndButterfl]

You have a property portfolio?! I don't think you're doing badly...

[Snookie00]

As the OP said, £25k was a small deposit for a flat. It certainly made her life a bit easier but it’s not life changing.

People are using the “check your privilege” like it’s a winning gotcha argument. Could be said about almost every single post on mumsnet. Yes there’s always someone worse off. Fact remains that I’m happy to share my money enriching my life and my loved ones whether that’s £100 or £1m. Both when I’m alive and hopefully after my death.

[Skippingabeat]

I absolutely agree with you OP. You're not grabby or entitled and your parents sound incredibly selfish that they inherited millions and all they gave you was £20k.
I would never imagine doing that to my kids.

[therealteamdebbie]

@HaveANiceFuckingDay

What someone said above .. 20k for a house deposit AND you went to private school .. fucking hell
I could wax lyrical about how I’ve had fuck all and expect fuck all ... I did what I needed to do and get on with it .. I expect nothing

THAT summarise the issue with threads like this and the usual over-reactions. If someone hasn't got something, it's beyond their understanding and acceptance that anyone else could.

[echt]

@therealteamdebbie

echt
What violence? What jealousy? Bitterness?

What do you call the abuse and insults against the OP?

Still inferred by you, and grossly exaggerated.

[JustLyra]

[quote Lockdownschmockdown]@Bluntness100 I have invested in a property portfolio but that is not the point of this thread.[/quote]
Presumably you could do that whilst in a low paid job thanks to the lower mortgage on your flat or the profit from its sale, so indirectly thanks to your parents...

[2littleguineas]

I think your parents were unusual to have inherited that huge sum of money and they didn't set aside or invest a certain amount for you to inherit. Are you sure they don't have life insurance or anything?

[SleepingStandingUp]

[quote Lockdownschmockdown]@Bluntness100 I have invested in a property portfolio but that is not the point of this thread.[/quote]
Well you're not doing that badly in your low paid job of you own several properties in your 40s. They're hardly leaving you destitute

[HappyasLaura]

I hear you, OP. I’m usually in the minority where inheritance threads are concerned and no different here. If your parents had worked hard and never inherited a penny, you’d be a bit unreasonable to expect a large inheritance but if I were them and had inherited millions, I’d certainly have put some aside for my offspring. No, they don’t have to, of course but it seems a bit mean that they paid nothing forward. I’d be pissed off too, even if most of this thread would think me irrational and money grabbing.

[Maves]

Grabby as fuck it's not their fault you're a single mum on a shit wage. Maybe they're disappointed wasting all that money on private education for you end up in a shit paid job, at least they've had fun with thier money why begrudge them that?
Life's for living not watching the pennies in case your kid ends up shit creek and clock watches till you peg it.
What's their teeth got to do with it?

[JustLyra]

@Skippingabeat

I absolutely agree with you OP. You're not grabby or entitled and your parents sound incredibly selfish that they inherited millions and all they gave you was £20k.
I would never imagine doing that to my kids.

They gave her a massive house deposit and a private education. Hardly nothing

[NoLeafClover]

@Snookie00

Interesting all these posters calling you selfish, awful, grabby etc. They sound selfish to me. I enjoy spending my money making myself AND the people I love happy. I can’t imagine living it up when the people I love are struggling. It goes against the value of family and caring for loved ones. People getting their knickers in a twist about £25k - it may seem like a fortune to some people but even 20 years ago it really wasn’t a life changing sum of money.

Are you serious? It would be an absolute life changing amount of money to us. Absolutely life changing. How privileged and lucky are you that 25k is but a drop in the bucket?