Photos on graves

[Clappingforjoy]

Posting here for traffic but currently in discussion with my siblings as to whether to have our parents photo on thier gravestone. Its me that really wants this but my siblings dont like this and think it's not private whereas I feel it gives a bit of soul to the graveside. What you think yes or no to photos on graves.

No photo, just an engraving .

It's not to my taste, but it's not my parents grave.

I'm sorry you and your siblings are not all in agreement, and if course I'm sorry for your loss.

This isn't usual where I live, for some reason I'm imagining this is an American or Irish thing?

I like the idea.

I thought having photos on gravestones was a modern (American) thing but in the Victorian cemetery near me there's a headstone from 1911 that has portraits on it (I'm in England). I love the idea that in another 100 years time, people will be able connect what's on the gravestone to an actual person.

If I was going to be buried, I'd definitely have it done for myself but I'm unlikely to be able to afford it.

I don't think photos weather well on graves as they are open to the elements.

So Sorry for your loss x

It's not a thing that occurred to me for dh as it's not common in the UK, but I do think they look nice. I have come to hate graveyards now whereas I used to like them though. I would just say that staying on good terms with your siblings will be better for your future contentment than getting a photo on there.

Personal choice I didn't and won't put it on my parents grave (Mom has passed Dad is still with us) but when I walk around the graveyard I do love to see photos on the graves. I was quite young when my DM died and we used to go to her grave quite often and seeing photos of others made it less scary. By my Mom's grave is a young lady of 19 with a photo I always used to look at it (and still do) and think my Mom would have loved you and she will look after you - it makes the graves more personal. Sorry not sure that helps.

@Toddlerteaplease

They look awful when they've faded.

I have to agree. Friends of ours had their daughters photo put on her headstone. It looked ok for the first 10 years but over time the face has faded but theblue of the eyes hasnt. So you just see the eyes. Which is a bit creepy. It's a shame as she was a beautiful girl.

Not for me I'm afraid, but each to their own

In my work I often visit churchyards and I find the stones with photos make me feel oddly as though I’m intruding. I think I’d find it terribly upsetting to have photos of my loved ones, happy and living, in the place they are buried, and would probably find it more distressing to visit. I can appreciate that I might be an outlier in this, and that others might find it comforting, but it’s not for me.

I’m sorry for your loss 💐

Quite common where I’m from (Northern Europe). My gran’s grave has her picture (and my grandads pic) - she choose it herself in her final months. A lovely picture and I like seeing it when I visit. It’s been there for over 10 years now, not faded at all but of course don’t know how it will look in another 10/20/50 years.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Very common where I'm from . Can't believe someone called it tacky.

The issue is , it's not here and your sibling feels differently. At such a sad ,heartbreaking time it's the last thing you need to worry or argue about.

For now try and agree on something you both are "happy" with and you could carry a picture with you if you wanted for when you go and visit.

You could have options later on if it's something you still feel strongly about.

So sorry for your loss

It’s totally personal and you have to decide as a family.

Yes. It makes it more personal IMO.
Sorry for your loss.

It isn't something that it would occur to me to do. Photos do fade a lot in sunlight and that would detract from it for me.

I am sorry for your loss. It is so hard.