Schools aren't open to all until the 8th?

[YouAreStorable]

Name changed so my other threads aren't identifiable, but I'm a regular and long-term mumsnetter.

I completely understand that schools have never been shut, and that keyworker children and those classed as vulnerable have always been able to go in, and I realise that the reasons for being classed as vulnerable vary. However, unless a parents work situation has changed (understandable) or school has decided a child now classes as vulnerable when they haven't before, children shouldn't have suddenly started going back into school this/last week should they?

I'm happy for people to tell me there are reasons, maybe teachers that have started having some of their class back early, to tell me that actually this was allowed and we just weren't aware of it. Our concern however, is that the child is suddenly being classed as vulnerable.

This is in relation to one of our dc who is in primary and lives with us 50% of the time. We've had issues in the past where school haven't informed us of things even though we they are supposed to inform both parents of everything because they say it's privacy for the other parent, although if it's about the education or welfare of our dc. There have also been issues with home schooling, where despite us having the dc and equal amount of time, the work hasn't been done at the other house and we've either had to do the entire weeks worth or they've had to miss significant chunks- neither of which is fair on the dc.

While all this is frustrating that the other parents won't be supportive of the dc in that context, we've been doing the majority of the work with them and so that alone shouldn't be enough of a cause for concern for the dc to be taken back into school. As we haven't been informed of this, we've also not been taking them in on the days they're at our house. This leaves us worried that there are other concerns that we're not being made aware of. AIBU to think this is the case, or has it actually been ok for some children to have already returned to school part time and it's just coincidence that it's not on the days they've been with us?

How old is the child? Can't you just ask them?

Lots to reply to.

There's definitely been no change of jobs such as teachers returning. There was also no excuse for it not being done on the days the dc were with the other parent as they only work when they don't have them (unlike our house trying to work round the clock around cramming in the home learning for the dc). I can certainly empathise with others who've found it difficult to cope with working and educating the dc, as it's been terrible for us, so stressful and not fair on the dc either, but we all have to do it.

We've been bringing children in who are not getting access to the remote learning for a variety of reasons. It might be their behaviour, access to technology or simply that their parents can't cope. We have provided laptops to everyone who would benefit from them, but sone wouldn't.

There's been a shit ton of kids at our village school for weeks and I know for a fact many of the parents are home with only 1 working.

It absolutely takes the piss.

So to clarify some things, the other parent is at home, not working when they have the dc. They have technology, although frequently refuse to use it, and have also had paper copies of all work provided throughout. DC younger end of primary age. We've worked like mad with dc to keep them as up to date as possible on our half of the week, and when we've explained the circumstances of having to do that, school have repeatedly told us we've been doing enough, and they weren't worried.

Suddenly dc goes back to school, we're not informed of it, or why, and dc won't talk to us about it.

I think from responses here, I'm definitely still worried about what's going on and why we're not being kept informed, but I'm less worried that there might be an urgent safety concern.

I would imagine that there is something going on with the other parent and they aren't coping. Ideally, yes, that should be shared with all of you to the extent that it involves your dc.

That said, I have noticed a lot of children back this week. In normal times, in dd's class of about 24, there have been 2-4 in school on a given day. I happened to walk past today and there were 8 or 9 in the classroom. A significant number of students in the class have a SAHP, so who knows why they're all suddenly there when they weren't the rest of lockdown.

@YouAreStorable

So to clarify some things, the other parent is at home, not working when they have the dc. They have technology, although frequently refuse to use it, and have also had paper copies of all work provided throughout. DC younger end of primary age. We've worked like mad with dc to keep them as up to date as possible on our half of the week, and when we've explained the circumstances of having to do that, school have repeatedly told us we've been doing enough, and they weren't worried.

Suddenly dc goes back to school, we're not informed of it, or why, and dc won't talk to us about it.

I think from responses here, I'm definitely still worried about what's going on and why we're not being kept informed, but I'm less worried that there might be an urgent safety concern.

They could have a tutor at home but if they aren’t engaging with the work that has been set, they can return to the school quite legitimately. Lots have done so.

DD’s school had 8% in at the start of January and 66% after half term. Lots of parents are sending their children back early and there are lots of legitimate reasons to do so.

@youarestorable it might be because the other parents have a bit of a wishy washy reason and don't want to make it obvious. Like others have said all sorts of people have kids in school for seemingly no reason - I wish I knew how because we have reasons but no luck here. It sounds like a rubbish situation - you should know but from the other parents not the school I think.

You really can’t just ring the other parent (assume Mum?) and ask her, and the DC won’t talk about it? What a horrible situation for the poor DC!

I assume she may have just asked the school if DC could go in with schools being back soon. I’ve also noticed more people on the school run since last week.

Take it you’re stepmum OP?

Dds are in because I’m nhs but they’ve had a small number of extra children joining the class over the last couple of weeks for a variety of reasons including dc wouldn’t work for dm and one was tearful and unhappy as an only dc.

Most of my youngest's class remained home. Probably because theres a pandemic going on and despite what most teachers seem to think paremts arent that keen to just leave them in the hands of others But it has been noticed that much larger numbers are in class this week and online work is no longer getting marked . When both of us are key workers it is a bit galling that teachers/ headteachers are playing quite loosely with these necessary 2 weeks more rather than sticking to guidelines. Telling them "now they will have to do some work" hasn't been popular.

More than one teacher I notice has been extremely scathing of children in and children still at home.
I see it on here as well, the assumption that children at home are learning fuck all. It's so sad. That teachers think so little of their students and the parents.

My eldest ones aren't going back until the 15th.

I should add that I did a few days of home learning with my dc in first lockdown and seriously lost my shit so I’d never criticise anyone who found it too hard this time.

@TheCatWithTheFluffyTail School have not said that to us though. They knew we were trying to pick up the work and cram it all into our time, and that it was massively impacting our work, but they've just said each time that we're doing enough and it's ok. Why would they say that to the other parent and not us?

@CoronaIsShit Interesting you would assume I'm stepmum and other parent is mum. It doesn't matter which parent is which really.

@B33Fr33 some parents are good and some bad, some teachers are good and some are bad. Your generalisation is fairly rude. I’ve actually no idea what my dc teachers’ opinions are on those in and those at home - how would you know?

@YouAreStorable maybe the other parent contacted school concerned for dc well-being? Or they didn’t want to rely on you packing all the work in on your time?

@m0therofdragons

I should add that I did a few days of home learning with my dc in first lockdown and seriously lost my shit so I’d never criticise anyone who found it too hard this time.

Oh I get that, it's been soooo hard. There's so much to balance and keep everyone safe and something resembling sane. I just hope they're able to stay in school now and we don't have to do this again.

[quote YouAreStorable]@TheCatWithTheFluffyTail School have not said that to us though. They knew we were trying to pick up the work and cram it all into our time, and that it was massively impacting our work, but they've just said each time that we're doing enough and it's ok. Why would they say that to the other parent and not us?

@CoronaIsShit Interesting you would assume I'm stepmum and other parent is mum. It doesn't matter which parent is which really.[/quote]
Could the other parent have directly asked or perhaps said they just couldn’t cram it all in and the child was suffering?

I work in safeguarding although with older kids. If a parent rang and said their child was not engaging with work at home and they were at their wits end trying to get them to do it, we would just say they can come in to school, we have space so we would rather have them in. Or if the child was not sending work in and parent was ignoring or not engaging with communication about it, we’d also say just bring them in as it’s obvious parents either not coping or not agreeing/engaging with home school as a concept

[quote m0therofdragons]@YouAreStorable maybe the other parent contacted school concerned for dc well-being? Or they didn’t want to rely on you packing all the work in on your time?[/quote]
The other parent definitely has no concern for us, and will go out of their way to make things harder for us at the best of times. To the extent of refusing things at court that they had initially wanted, just because we agreed, so we must want that too.

There also two adults in both homes, neither working in their house, both working in ours. We've worked our backsides off trying to do the best we can for the kids.

@Blueeyedgirl21

I work in safeguarding although with older kids. If a parent rang and said their child was not engaging with work at home and they were at their wits end trying to get them to do it, we would just say they can come in to school, we have space so we would rather have them in. Or if the child was not sending work in and parent was ignoring or not engaging with communication about it, we’d also say just bring them in as it’s obvious parents either not coping or not agreeing/engaging with home school as a concept

I think not engaging with it as a concept hits the nail on the head. But school had repeatedly said it was fine with them doing as much as we could manage at our house. This particular school has also done very little by way of live sessions, keep in contact etc except for uploading work (which we do) and the emails that we've had. In comparison to the other school we have dc at which has a live session every day and anyone who doesn't attend is checked on that day. I realise they've all just done it differently and I have no complaints about that, I'm just saying that from the safeguarding perspective, everything has been done while at our house.

My child's teacher she has no idea that a TA in the next class is someone who I mentor online about work issues. Obviously I can't raise that I know. But I am very disappointed.

@YouAreStorable if it makes you feel any better, as long as we are having contact with the pupil / parent and seeing either bits of work or seeing them online or having text/phone conversations regularly we would have no safeguarding concerns at all, we would never assume that a child not submitting all the work was neglected or anything like that (unless no other outside agency involvement like family support workers, child in need etc). What we would probably just say if there was little work coming in at this point before going back is just say look it’s not worth the stress just bring them in.

@Blueeyedgirl21 Thanks, that's really helpful.

A couple I know, he spends his time complaining there is no freelance work and Rishi isn't giving him cash whilst she is part time key worker, so child is in 5 days. Ridiculous. If there is anyone in the house that can care for a child the child should be at home. There seems to be a link between the woke and sending their kids which is very ironic.