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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if parents/staff would be happy for DC/themselves to remove masks in this situation?

70 replies

MaskFace · 04/03/2021 17:53

Firstly, I really do want honest answers, I won't be offended etc. I would like to hear the genuine views of whether parents would be happy with their DCs removing their masks (and possibly not being able to fully social distance) to communicate with my DC - and also how school staff feel about this too.

My DC is profoundly deaf (secondary mainstream school) and lip reads/signs as well as having a cochlear implant. In a world even without no masks or social distancing he struggles with lots of things anyway and has specialist support in school. Obviously he can't communicate with people wearing face masks if he can't hear them or see their lips. I know the support staff will be helping with learning aspects but it's going to still be really hard. I also fear he will miss out on so much "friendship stuff". When masks were mandatory on school transport here pre lockdown, he stopped getting the school bus and started walking to school by himself. (This breaks my heart a bit)

We have tried many many clear masks/visors etc (although the government school advice is "they should not be worn as an alternative" anyway Hmm) and nothing has been useful enough (muffled sound/light reflecting/vapour etc) so I know people will try and suggest these in a helpful way but it's been exhausted - even making our own and ordering them in from overseas etc so this is not a solution.

So my question is would parents be comfortable with their DC removing their masks in breaks/lessons/on the way to school etc so they can communicate with DS, or do you think it's too risky to do that? (Also interested in school staff views). Or even if they keep their mask on they could be in a group of DC without them. Also social distancing can't always be fully adhered to as you need to be close enough to read lips/pick up sound.

I know the guidelines say masks can be removed for people to lip read etc. I know people will say "just insist they remove them" but I genuinely understand some people may not feel comfortable with the risk which is why I want people to be completely honest.

For full disclosure I am in the CEV category so understand people's fears ( I have had my first vaccination and hope others have too and I know CEV school staff will be working from home).

Please be honest. Also (of course!) especially interested to hear from deaf parents or parents of deaf DC with similar worries. Thank you.

OP posts:
loulouljh · 04/03/2021 17:55

Yes of course! I do not feel at all comfortable with masks in classrooms at all. Let alone in those circumstances.

shouldistop · 04/03/2021 17:56

It wouldn't bother me at all. This must be really hard for your son.

MaskFace · 04/03/2021 17:57

This is the government's latest advice if anyone hasn't seen it or is interested in small print etc...

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/965446/Faceecoveringsinneducation--March2021.pdf

OP posts:
FoxyTheFox · 04/03/2021 17:59

I wouldn't have an issue with my secondary DC removing his mask to communicate He likely won't be able to wear his all day anyway due to being autistic as it starts to unsettle him after a while.

The way I see it is that school is either as safe as it was pre-lockdown 3.0 or it isn't and if it isn't then removing a mask for a short-ish period isn't going to raise that risk by anything more than a negligible amount.

Alexandernevermind · 04/03/2021 18:01

I'm very pro mask and won't allow anyone inside my business premises without one, but if a deaf customer comes then I remove my mask. Same should apply to children.

TheChip · 04/03/2021 18:01

It wouldn't bother me, and it wouldn't bother my kids either.

justanotherkid · 04/03/2021 18:01

My DC (secondary) have attended school hub this lockdown due to SEN, no masks in place for the children, but teachers wearing masks.
I would support your child's needs in this, and allow my DC to eg walk to school with yours, eat lunch together etc as school will allow.
Can you ask school if some chosen friends - with permission from parents can be my mask less at social times in school? ....
Or how school are going to meet your dc emotional needs?
So hard x

gingerbiscuits · 04/03/2021 18:01

Speaking as a teacher & a parent of a teenager, it wouldn't bother me at all - I think we're all kidding ourselves if we think kids are going to wear them when they're supposed to/wear them properly/socially distance etc! The risk factors are (thankfully) lower now than before Christmas & no-one thought twice about it then & I strongly suspect the Dept for Ed will change their minds about it again very soon anyway!

MaskFace · 04/03/2021 18:04

That's interesting thank you for replies. It's hard because my natural inclination is to want people wrapped in cling film and kept 10m away (although that's just because I don't like people in general, nothing to do with CV Wink)

But of course I want my DC to be able to communicate with people and am interested to hear from others. Secondary isn't like primary when you know the parents of your DC friends...

OP posts:
stuckasachildagain · 04/03/2021 18:06

I would have no problem with this and in fact instruct my child to do so in order to continue a friendship. I hope your ds gets the support he needs from the school regarding letting his friends and teachers know it is acceptable. Good luck

sunflowersandbuttercups · 04/03/2021 18:07

Wouldn't bother me.

A lady in our local post office is deaf and customers are asked to remove their masks to speak to her. It's been fine.

TweetleBeetlesBattle · 04/03/2021 18:09

I have similar worries with a primary age child. It's not just the teacher being incomprehensible, it's the class discussions, group chat, muffled answers from the person behind them, social interactions and friendships really suffer This lockdown been really isolating and schools are really not that deaf friendly at the best of times.

We have a spare radio aid for home use that I'm going to hand to the school to ask them to give a friend at playtime if I need to. Worth considering?

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 04/03/2021 18:10

They will remove them on the way to school and in breaks anyway.
Lesson wise I would remove my mask to teach if the pupils were a reasonable distance from me and the room was well ventilated. I would replace it when not speaking. For group work I would consider it a reasonable adjustment to remove masks but to be honest we haven't been doing any group work this year, everyone is sitting in rows. If a pupil said something in a discussion I would repeat it so everyone heard it (as they might well be behind your son).
How relaxed the teacher would feel would depend on the rates in your area, the age of the class, the age and health of the teacher.
I would absolutely make adjustments but it wouldn't simply be to say the class could all take their masks off.
I really do think the social aspect (lunches/breaks) would be maskless anyway and hopefully outside. I've tried a clear mask it was quite uncomfortable and not very clear - there might be better ones available but I doubt any are great.

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 04/03/2021 18:12

OP thanks to reading your post I've thought of several things I will do to try to improve things for a particular student when we return to school.

Sleepthief · 04/03/2021 18:17

I absolutely would be more than happy for my DC to remove their masks to communicate with yours! I was at a training session for Covid testers at my DC's school today and it was impossible to hear what most of the trainers were saying behind their masks. To be fair, we were in a gym, which have notoriously bad acoustics, but I just can't see how it's going to go next week 😳

lanthanum · 04/03/2021 18:21

I am all for having masks in secondary schools, but there are deaf children at DD's school and I would totally support a deaf child's needs over-riding the requirement for masks. I would hope that teachers would try and make it possible for the group containing the deaf child to sit further apart from each other, even using another room if there's a TA to facilitate that.

I'm not so sure about buses - with relatively little supervision on board, it's probably easier to say "masks on" than to make sure that they're not shouting in each others' faces - and to talk to the child next to him their faces are inevitably very close. Presumably walking to school isn't a lot better, socially, as it's difficult to look at someone's face whilst walking. Maybe that's where your son just has to put up with it.

MaskFace · 04/03/2021 18:36

Oh these replies are all very interesting (and I'm happy if it's helpful to others!) Sorry you are having similar issues tweetle we do have a radio aid but also hearing aids/implants that stream Bluetooth (so ironically the sound of lessons online were easier in some ways!) there are so many ways technology can make lives easier but still the good old fashioned seeing peoples' faces can't be totally replaced....I do wish BSL was taught in schools and offered as an option for GSCE/equivalent though.

OP posts:
M0mmyneedswine · 04/03/2021 18:40

Our school have said teachers can remove masks when at the front of the room, they haven't given permission for students to remove them but I'm hoping the DC sit outside at break so can take them off

Ermidunno · 04/03/2021 18:53

Yes absolutely. One of the children in DS’s class is deaf but thankfully primary so masks not required apart from by teachers at pick up/drop off. They all remove masks when greeting him as they should.

Whatdoesitsayaboutyou · 04/03/2021 19:03

I have mixed feelings on this I would want your child to be included (I have a child with disabilities and know how easily they get excluded). My worries would be my dc bringing the virus home to dc1 who's 17 and ecv and hasn't yet been vaccinated because not all vaccines are currently signed off for 16/17 year olds. I'm also group 6 disabled single parent so if I'm ill that would also be an issue. My secondary school dc worry about bringing the virus home to dc1 so I would also be worried about their anxieties.
However if I knew the family were being careful and it was a close friend I would be reasonably happy.
Regarding ecv teachers ours are back in class after Easter (vaccinated or not) they will be put at greater risk whatever.
Have you spoken to the senco? I spoke to our senco this week and he seems to be reassessing everybody's care plan before coming back to school.

rainbowrainfall · 04/03/2021 19:30

I would want my children to do whatever it takes to help their friend in that situation. We all take so many precautions but being inclusive matters too!

FireflyRainbow · 04/03/2021 20:01

I'd be happy for my kids to remove their masks to talk to your son. Absolutely. I have a few deaf clients and remove my mask but wear my visor so they can lip read.

EnoughnowIthink · 04/03/2021 20:16

Broadly speaking,I have no issue with it. However, one of my children is a type 1 diabetic and whilst statistically type 1 children have been fine with covid, type 1 adults really haven’t. I would therefore not encourage that child to remove their mask for any reason. I hope you don’t find that offensive - and he may well make decisions to remove his mask that I can do nothing about - but I don’t want to encourage him to do anything other than try to keep himself covid-free.

NuttyinNotts · 04/03/2021 20:23

Masks on the school bus would be the situation that I would be most concerned about and probably wouldn't agree with removing them. Anything outside I would be very relaxed about. However, if my child had a deaf friend, then I'd ensure they had clear masks for situations where masks are required.

MaskFace · 04/03/2021 21:02

The school SENCO is great and they will do as much as they can but I think it's just somewhat of a circle that can't be squared, in that there isn't an easy solution that's best for everyone.

Enough I appreciate your honesty. From my POV I wouldn't want to put anyone vulnerable at increased risk.

We will just have to see what transpires I suppose. (I have other deaf and also hearing DC who are all in different situations so I just have to try and worry about one at a time! This thread has set my mind at ease a bit simply because no one has been a knob about it (unlike a lot of MN mask threadsWink and also RL!)

Thank you all

OP posts:
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