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AIBU?

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Original poster

Removing shoes indoors

615 replies

diagold4u · 04/03/2021 15:35

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

OP posts:
ParisJeTAime · 04/03/2021 20:12

We try to do no shoes upstairs. We have hard floors downstairs so leave them on unless they're super muddy.

I grew up in a big, old house. We never took shoes off. It would have felt really weird. It wasn't a cosy little house where you'd wear big, fluffy slippers all day! We tended to get dressed, including shoes.

InkyWinky · 04/03/2021 20:14

Shoes off here. I hate walking barefoot anywhere, so if I'm going to someone's house and they are shoes off too, I take my indoor flip flops.

What I can't stand are those people and workmen who totally ignore the inside doormat and don't wipe their feet coming into my house. So if I don't ask people to take their shoes off, they should at least wipe their shoed/booted feet on the doormat provided. So I have no qualms asking them to wipe their feet and to do it properly. Smile

SimonJT · 04/03/2021 20:15

@HelloThereMeHearties

How on earth do people cope in offices? Or shops? They must be ill all the time from all the horrific germy shoes being worn!
You don’t sit on the floor in an office, a child doesn’t play on the floor in an office. Offices are dirty, as are most shops, the cleanliness levels in them are generally poor. If someone only cleaned in a way to prevent illness their home would be very dirty.
flawpatrol · 04/03/2021 20:16

@HelloThereMeHearties

How on earth do people cope in offices? Or shops? They must be ill all the time from all the horrific germy shoes being worn!
It's completely different.

In my home, we may sit down on the floor, children crawling etc

In an office, you know you are there for work and are fully dressed and it's just not even comparable Grin

HelloThereMeHearties · 04/03/2021 20:18

I'm fairly certain that children sit on the floor in schools and nurseries Grin

kowari · 04/03/2021 20:18

Our house is shoes off. In someone else's house I do what the host does if my shoes are clean. If the host is wearing shoes but mine are dirty I take them off unless they insist otherwise.

HelloThereMeHearties · 04/03/2021 20:19

Anyway, it's not exposure to general germs that makes children ill. It's lack of exposure to germs.

Mamadothehump · 04/03/2021 20:19

These threads always amaze me! Literally everyone I know (including myself), always takes shoes off as soon as they walk through the front door!! Why would risk treading shit and piss through your/friend's house?? Grim!!

iluvpickles · 04/03/2021 20:20

I used to have an almost white carpet! It was called polar. It was soooo beautiful and obvs we had to be very careful so I used to ask family to talk their shoes off. If I had anyone around to do work at the house I was too embarrassed to ask them but most of the time they saw the carpet and put covers on.

If they already know the rule they shouldn't have to be asked! My mum used to go on about it at first. Oh yeah U never looked after my carpets but here I am taking my shoes off to keep urs clean 😆 yip mum!

I now have dark grey carpet so I don't ask anyone to take shoes off and I walk about with my shoes on sometimes. I also don't like taking my shoes off at someone else's house but I would if they asked me to obvs I would and wouldn't make a fuss.

HelloThereMeHearties · 04/03/2021 20:21

So, let me get this straight. Your children run around at school all day, wearing shoes. Sitting on the floor, rolling around, playing etc etc. But then when they get home they must take their shoes off because GERMS!!

AlwaysLatte · 04/03/2021 20:21

Strictly shoes off in the hall. I can't believe people are happy to walk around their house in outdoor shoes 🤢

TheyWentToSeaInASieve · 04/03/2021 20:22

I find on the whole people who are 70+ tend to be shoe on and not open to being asked to have shoes off. They genuinely find it rude -- possibly due to difficulty of getting shoes on and off. But I come from an entire culture where it is rude to bring outdoor dirt inside (thankfully, my partner who is from a shoe-on household agrees!) so always found this very difficult. I have actually invested in one-use hotel slippers to resolve this, but it hasn't been as successful as you'd think:-)

VinylDetective · 04/03/2021 20:26

@MimosaFields

I don't mind removing them in other people's houses but my house is shoes ON

I don't want to see your socks or feet, so it annoys me when I say "please don't remove your shoes" and people still do

Same in this house. I don’t want discarded shoes cluttering up the hall either. Leave the buggers on, please!
NigellaSeed · 04/03/2021 20:26

I always take my shoes off at anyones house. DPs parents never take their shoes off at ours, even though it's really obvious it's a no shoes home, we are in socks and all our shoes are by the door.

A couple of times as we've all walked in together I've made a show of taking my shoes off so they do the same. But if DP let's the in they just spend all day in my house with their shoes on. I can't say "you can put your shoes here" when they 've already sat down but it makes me incensed.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 04/03/2021 20:26

@HelloThereMeHearties

So, let me get this straight. Your children run around at school all day, wearing shoes. Sitting on the floor, rolling around, playing etc etc. But then when they get home they must take their shoes off because GERMS!!
Mine take their shoes off at home because we have carpets that I don’t want to be cleaning all the time. Also I’ve read it’s better for kids growing feet for them to not be in shoes as much as possible. Not arsed about the germs (we’ve got a dog so that ship has sailed).
HelloThereMeHearties · 04/03/2021 20:28

Sorry, I was replying to a couple of PPs who don't like shoes in the house because their children sit on the floor Grin

sunflowersandbuttercups · 04/03/2021 20:28

@HelloThereMeHearties

So, let me get this straight. Your children run around at school all day, wearing shoes. Sitting on the floor, rolling around, playing etc etc. But then when they get home they must take their shoes off because GERMS!!
Not germ related in his house, I just don't want to vacuum any more than I already do! Plus, we can't afford to keep replacing the carpet because it's clogged with mud/dirt.
HelloThereMeHearties · 04/03/2021 20:29

In fact, good point - do any of you people who insist on no shoes indoors, have pets?

NigellaSeed · 04/03/2021 20:29

@megletsecond

Shoes off here. Hard floors.

I don't want spit and dog poo walked around my house.

Do you live in Dundee? Grin
EpiphanySoul1 · 04/03/2021 20:29

I grew up on a farm. We were a shoes on household. Our house was always spotless. You wiped your feet thoroughly at the door and if your shoes were muddy or obviously dirty you would take them off and leave them at the door/clean them. If you were down the farm you would wear wellies and they wouldn’t go past the front door. I don’t really understand the grim for children bit - we were 6 siblings and none of us ever had those awful vomiting or stomach bugs that used to go around the schools if you think that would be the problem? Some antibodies and germ exposure is good for children. Plus it’s not like we were licking the floors?? If someone walks in your house in shoes that are wiped on a mat and not visibly dirty and leaving marks and you regularly hoover and mop your floors I don’t see the problem.

I wouldn’t automatically take my shoes off when I go into someone house. I would have no problem if someone said can you take your shoes off. I wouldn’t want to wear a pair of someone’s ‘guest slippers’ I think that’s completely odd.

I would also feel a bit weird if I was invited to someone’s for dinner/drinks and wore a nice dress and then we all end up sitting at the table in the house owners worn IKEA slippers or tights or bare feet - very underdressed or something.

I wonder if it’s contagious either way!!! I’ve never had friends offer to take their shoes off at mine or asked me to at theirs - usually they’re wearing shoes too whereas lots here seem to only know ‘shoes off’ households.

Overall I think if you’re a shoes off household you need to say it to your guests and there is nothing wrong with that. I certainly think it’s very rude to think they are rude if they don’t offer when it honestly is unlikely to occur to them if they are a shoes on house. I often take my shoes off when I get home as I like wearing those big fluffy slipper socks and putting my feet under me on the couch so seeing someone in slippers I’d be more likely to assume they’re like me rather than they don’t allow shoes on their floors!

QueenofGallifrey · 04/03/2021 20:29

I ask people to remove their shoes once in doors. I also provide disposable guest slippers for them to wear while in the house.

imalmostthere · 04/03/2021 20:30

I absolutely expect people to take their shoes off. I don't want dog crap and Christ knows what else trudged through my home, for me or my kids to step in!

Daisy829 · 04/03/2021 20:31

Shoes off and straight into my comfy slippers! I don’t mind shoes in the kitchen as it’s wooden floor but it’s a no for any carpeted areas. I’ve never worn shoes indoors it just doesn’t feel right.

EpiphanySoul1 · 04/03/2021 20:35

@Mamadothehump this is why I’m wondering if it’s a thing that spreads either way among friendship groups as I don’t know anyone who has a ‘shoes off’ household!

ParisJeTAime · 04/03/2021 20:38

@EpiphanySoul1

I'm with you! My parents were always having parties where people got really dressed up. So weird to picture my mum handing out disposable slippers as guests arrived 🤭. Not because it's silly, I get it, but just a weird thought if you'd ever seen my mum hosting parties. They weren't cosy affairs with slippers and the telly on.

Anyway, we try not to wear them upstairs due to carpets but with hard floors I don't mind unless they're muddy. Like you, not one of my friends has a shoes off policy! When we moved out to the suburbs I encountered it for the first time with a neighbour in a very clean, new build across the road. I thought "oh that's a bit unusual" but obviously didn't mind. After that I do offer as I thought it must be a thing round here! But actually, no, not really.

Anyone passing out at the thought of my dcs playing on the floor where shoes have been; they have play mats which go in the wash and I own a mop 🤷‍♀️