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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Removing shoes indoors

615 replies

diagold4u · 04/03/2021 15:35

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

OP posts:
WinterStrawbsAreLikeTurnip · 07/03/2021 00:00

Shoes are sodding gross. If people have stinky gross feet they can bring slippers with them or stay out of my house. Ugh yuck.

rhowton · 07/03/2021 07:24

I grew up in a shoe household. The second I moved out, I always took my shoes off. I really don't like shoes and take them off at any chance I get.

minniemoocher · 07/03/2021 07:41

Everyone who comes into my house ever has removed their shoes automatically, I've never had to ask - I thought it was normal these days, certainly is in my circle of friends and I have lived in several areas on two continents!

ThisIsClare · 07/03/2021 07:47

We are a shoes on home (hard floors and mop daily). I was appalled when we were invited for cocktails to my DH's colleague's place and were asked to remove shoes. We were all very dressed up and looked ridiculous bare feet. We didn't go again.

GappyValley · 07/03/2021 07:53

@minniemoocher

Everyone who comes into my house ever has removed their shoes automatically, I've never had to ask - I thought it was normal these days, certainly is in my circle of friends and I have lived in several areas on two continents!
Same! I do it as a reflex when I go to houses, and other than people popping in very briefly, everyone seems to do the same when they visit

Workmen all put those plastic overshoes on at the front door also

Newkitchen123 · 07/03/2021 07:57

Can I ask shoes off people how often you clean your floors?

PL15namechange · 07/03/2021 07:59

I grew up in a shoes on house. At my DGM's it was shoes off, so as a child I was aware it was 'a thing' but we didn't do it.

I'm always really embarrassed if I go somewhere and am asked to take shoes off and I hadn't automatically started to do it, i.e. asked immediately at arrival - like 'you can pop your shoes there', that's fine, but if I've started to walk in and then I'm asked and I have to go back to the door. Or worse, if I'm not asked and realise I'm the only visitor with shoes on! (I have diagnosed anxiety so do overthink and catastrophise though!)

When we had DD we had new carpets to the place we moved into in the front room and her bedroom. We decided we would be shoes off in these rooms - rest of house was hard floors. Well that lasted fine till my parents rocked up. Even though they watched us leaving our shoes outside the room doors they still strolled in with their shoes on. I couldn't bring myself to say directly to them about it, I felt it was a criticism of how I'd been brought up/how they live somehow. (see above re anxiety!!) I made comments about the 'lovely new carpets' and suchlike, but they were just oblivious.

The real complication comes when you have a house party (which I vaguely remember through the mists of time) and people are dressed up, and shoes are part of the outfit - asking for shoes to be removed then is even more awkward, I've no idea how someone would do that!

lucel · 07/03/2021 08:02

I honestly find this issue hilarious! We have these threads every couple of months don't we Grin

I'm a shoes off person - it's cleaner in my opinion. Walking on carpets with shoes on feels very wrong to me.

I can't stand it when my in-laws used to come round and didn't take their shoes off, and felt uncomfortable asking.

Sunhoop · 07/03/2021 08:03

I think it's very rude to ask people to remove their shoes. Unless they're very close friends/family. We don't wear our shoes in the house either, my close family take their shoes off out of habit and most children seem to have this rule at home as they'll automatically take their shoes off when they visit, but I would never ask extended family or any other visitors to do it. It's poor hosting IMO.

That said I don't have carpet (why anyone does is beyond me?!) so I can imagine I'd wince if someone was traipsing mud over a cream carpet or something. This did make me smile though: I have shoe covers that I provide to workers I would obviously oblige to have me some but would most certainly be secretly laughing. It's akin to people keeping plastic on their couch!

lucel · 07/03/2021 08:03

@Newkitchen123

Can I ask shoes off people how often you clean your floors?
Hoover and mop the kitchen and bathroom floors most days.

Hoover the main living areas and bedrooms daily. Mop the living room (wood floor) maybe twice a week

Newkitchen123 · 07/03/2021 08:09

I'm a pet owner so all I ever seem to do is clean floors anyway.
@lucel you don't wear shoes in the bedroom but you hoover every day? Each to their own but isn't that unnecessary?

lucel · 07/03/2021 08:23

@blowinahoolie

More germs in your home is healthier for children growing up in their own house. By trying to eradicate all germs from shoes worn outside you are doing a massive disservice to them IMO. I have a massive dog who is hairy and slobbery so the DC get exposed to lots of germs. They're hardly I'll. Children shouldn't be wrapped up in cotton wool.
Sounds absolutely gross
lucel · 07/03/2021 08:24

@Newkitchen123

I'm a pet owner so all I ever seem to do is clean floors anyway. *@lucel* you don't wear shoes in the bedroom but you hoover every day? Each to their own but isn't that unnecessary?
I have a three year old and with the current weather the floor just seems to get slightly dirty each day. It's a flat, so everything is on the same floor as the front door which is perhaps why. Plus I wheel the pram / scooter in each day so I do need to hoover and mop quite a bit.

Less so in the summer

Newkitchen123 · 07/03/2021 08:32

Ah yes roll on summer.
I also like a bit of frost! No muddy paws!

Buggersticks · 07/03/2021 09:47

Shoes off. Can't put the carpet in the washer and I'm not cleaning up other people's muck from who knows what they stood in outside. Why would anyone not mind about potential dog shit in their house?

TillyFloss10 · 07/03/2021 10:10

We don't wear shoes in our house, but mostly for comfort. Taking shoes off is like taking your bra off, it just feels freeing! But I dont care if guests keep them on or take them off, it's up to them.
Question for people who wear shoes in the house, do you put shoes on even if you aren't going out that day? Is it just part of your routine of getting ready?

m0therofdragons · 07/03/2021 10:14

I’d rather they keep shoes on than deal with stinky feet Blush
We take shoes off but guests keep them on unless they volunteer to take them off. I’m more paranoid about athletes foot than mud on the carpet.

wellthatsunusual · 07/03/2021 10:15

@TillyFloss10

We don't wear shoes in our house, but mostly for comfort. Taking shoes off is like taking your bra off, it just feels freeing! But I dont care if guests keep them on or take them off, it's up to them. Question for people who wear shoes in the house, do you put shoes on even if you aren't going out that day? Is it just part of your routine of getting ready?
I don't. But I know my parents always did. When my father was dying he was housebound for the last few months. Until about the last week of his life, he always had us dress him, including putting his shoes on, as he felt undressed and vulnerable without them. I spent so many hours gently putting his feet into those shoes and tying them just right, not too tight and not too loose. I never in all my life saw my father walk around without shoes on.
DuzzyFuck · 07/03/2021 10:20

We're shoes off generally, but don't insist for guests. They often do when they see we're in socks though.

A friend of mine is from a shoes off culture and has a selection of slippers (usually hotel ones) available for guests to put on if their feet are cold or they're self-conscious about being bare-foot.

Newkitchen123 · 07/03/2021 14:33

@DuzzyFuck

We're shoes off generally, but don't insist for guests. They often do when they see we're in socks though.

A friend of mine is from a shoes off culture and has a selection of slippers (usually hotel ones) available for guests to put on if their feet are cold or they're self-conscious about being bare-foot.

Slippers that others have worn. How lovely
SpnBaby1967 · 07/03/2021 14:39

Shoes on here. I find it really rude telling people to remove shoes.

Plus, the thought if sweaty socks or bare feet foot jam in my carpets 🤮 I'd rather a bit of mud I can hoover up.

MamaMeAh · 07/03/2021 14:55

Bloody hell, most of you would hate me, we walk round in what we came in wearing
However I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to remove my shoes

Notonthestairs · 07/03/2021 14:58

Downstairs- Shoes off but won't require guests to remove theirs unless visibly muddy.

Upstairs- I don't care who you are shoes off.

Hoover and mop once a day but that's because it's hideously dusty (we live on a main road) and we have a dog.

Devora13 · 07/03/2021 22:14

I have always said unless shoes are obviously dirty, I'm not fussed. BUT I do take your point OP. Most people who come to our house ask if they should remove their shoes, and if it is anyone's preference in their home, I would be happy to comply.

DrSbaitso · 07/03/2021 22:17

Slippers that others have worn. How lovely.

They get washed, for crying out loud. Like bedsheets and towels.