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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Removing shoes indoors

615 replies

diagold4u · 04/03/2021 15:35

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

OP posts:
QueenofGallifrey · 05/03/2021 06:41

@Daphnise

I thought the idea of removing shoes was something lower income households had to do because they could not afford cleaners.

I would be repulsed if visitors took off their shoes.

But each to their own....

People take their shoes of in my house and I can afford to have my leaner come for 2 hours a week!
QueenofGallifrey · 05/03/2021 07:00
  • cleaner
Pyewackect · 05/03/2021 07:09

No riding boots in the house, they have to left in the vestibule. Most of the house has its original polished patterned wooden flooring or ornate tiling. There is carpet on the stairs and in four of the bedrooms but what you wear in your own is down to you. There is a large Persian rug in one of the front rooms and the kids are encouraged not to wear their DM’s in there. Most of the time they wear nothing on their feet or just flip flops. Apart from my 16dd , she has pairs of hand made silk slippers my father gave her. My DH takes his shoes off. I don’t, unless I’m wearing riding boots.

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 07:10

@Catlover77

Do people really offer visitors a pair of old slippers to wear? Even offering new slippers is weird, awkward and inhospitable
Yep. I also get my husband to punch them in the face when they walk in.
SuperCaliFragalistic · 05/03/2021 07:10

@Catlover77

Do people really offer visitors a pair of old slippers to wear? Even offering new slippers is weird, awkward and inhospitable
My ex mother in law used to insist I wore some awful ugly slippers in her house. I'm happy to take my shoes off (although I would never insist others do) but I draw the line at being forced to wear someone else's slippers.
sonnysunshine · 05/03/2021 07:16

I hate wearing shoes inside. Foreign mother the idea in her culture would be shock if anyone wore shoes inside. I never ask adults to take shoes off (though lots do) but do ask children visitors.

gannett · 05/03/2021 07:23

Really can't bring myself to care or overthink this.

We're shoes off in our house on an everyday basis but don't ask guests to take shoes off. I genuinely can't recall if any of them ever have, unasked. We'll be cleaning the day after a dinner party anyway.

Some friends want us to take shoes off when visiting, others don't. It's not remotely something I think about or have an opinion on, I just do what they want.

Londonnight · 05/03/2021 07:23

My shoes come off as soon as I get in the house. I don't ask visitors to take theirs off, but most do anyway.
I can never understand why you would wear outside shoes in a house?

My ex inlaws always put their shoes on when they go out of bed in the morning and kept them on all day. I always found that really weird.

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 07:44

@gannett

Really can't bring myself to care or overthink this.

We're shoes off in our house on an everyday basis but don't ask guests to take shoes off. I genuinely can't recall if any of them ever have, unasked. We'll be cleaning the day after a dinner party anyway.

Some friends want us to take shoes off when visiting, others don't. It's not remotely something I think about or have an opinion on, I just do what they want.

Most people do; they may have their own preference but in someone else's house they will do whatever the host likes and they really won't have the nutty reactions that they display on here. They wouldn't get invited to many places if they did!

I confess, I usually ignore these threads, but it's been a while and I thought it would be fun to see the ridiculous hyperbole, self-righteousness and anxious class one-upmanship. I have not been disappointed. It's just a shame that the "they wear their shoes in indoor royal portraits" woman hasn't turned up, but she's probably fainted or something.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 05/03/2021 07:55

Wearing slippers that have been worn by someone else 🤢

Rewis · 05/03/2021 07:56

Always shoes off. I've yet to encounter a visitor who doesn't. I think most have figured it out since our shoes are at the door and we are not wearing them. I have no idea what id do if someone came in with shoes. It's something that I don't understand and I thibk is fair enough to ask.

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 08:06

@MrBullinaChinaShop

Wearing slippers that have been worn by someone else 🤢
What are you frightened will happen?
CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove · 05/03/2021 08:07

My DF wears a brace on his leg due to an injury from 20+ years ago that has to be worn with shoes. He can't walk if he takes his shoes off. I always felt bad for him when we'd go to someone's house and everyone was implicitly expecting him to take his shoes off

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 08:09

@CoffeeandCakeEqualsLove

My DF wears a brace on his leg due to an injury from 20+ years ago that has to be worn with shoes. He can't walk if he takes his shoes off. I always felt bad for him when we'd go to someone's house and everyone was implicitly expecting him to take his shoes off
I'm sure people will understand if he explains.
userxx · 05/03/2021 08:10

Not fussed about shoes on hard floors as they can be cleaned properly but hate shoes being worn on carpets.

MacDuffsMuff · 05/03/2021 08:13

I think most people just take their shoes off when they go/went to someone's house. It never seemed to be a thing when I was young but is now, which is fine by me.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 05/03/2021 08:14

@DrSbaitso I’m not frightened of anything, I just don’t like the idea of it. Not every emotion is fear. Disgust exists too.

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 08:15

[quote MrBullinaChinaShop]@DrSbaitso I’m not frightened of anything, I just don’t like the idea of it. Not every emotion is fear. Disgust exists too.[/quote]
What disgusting thing are you disgusted about that you're not frightened will happen?

MrBullinaChinaShop · 05/03/2021 08:18

I am disgusted at the thought of wearing slippers worn by someone else. People could have all sorts of foot afflictions (verrucas, athletes foot for example). Some peoples feet are just sweaty and rank. So I don’t want to wear slippers worn by someone else. It’s a perfectly valid opinion.
I take my shoes off in other peoples houses. I take my shoes off in my own house. I just don’t like the idea of wearing slippers worn by someone else.
But I didn’t realise everyone in life had to have the same opinions as everyone else, my bad.

DrSbaitso · 05/03/2021 08:21

@MrBullinaChinaShop

I am disgusted at the thought of wearing slippers worn by someone else. People could have all sorts of foot afflictions (verrucas, athletes foot for example). Some peoples feet are just sweaty and rank. So I don’t want to wear slippers worn by someone else. It’s a perfectly valid opinion. I take my shoes off in other peoples houses. I take my shoes off in my own house. I just don’t like the idea of wearing slippers worn by someone else. But I didn’t realise everyone in life had to have the same opinions as everyone else, my bad.
And what if these sweaty, verruca and fungus ridden slippers that do not frighten you were washed between guests as standard?
Sidalee7 · 05/03/2021 08:26

Shoes off definitely. I have wooden flooring downstairs and carpet upstairs and hate the thought of dirt being trekked upstairs.
I grew up in a shoes on house though.

23PissOffAvenueWF · 05/03/2021 08:34

@Shrivelled

Sorry but anyone who gets offended by being asked to take their shoes off needs to grow a thicker skin. How precious.
‘Precious’ is prioritising your floor (for heaven’s sake!) over your guests’ comfort - that’s the very definition of ‘precious’!

We’re shoes off at home, and I always offer to take shoes off when I arrive at people’s homes. But I would never ask guests to remove their shoes. No, just cringe.

The floor has been there for over 100 years. I think it can cope with a few people’s shoes. Confused

23PissOffAvenueWF · 05/03/2021 08:35

Oh God. ‘Guest slippers’

These always get brought up on the shoes on/off threads. 🤢

StColumbofNavron · 05/03/2021 08:36

A really normal thing in my part of the world. Like I said they are often flip flop types so you can wash them, but the number a household has is usually huge.

EpiphanySoul1 · 05/03/2021 08:43

@DrSbaitso I’d still think it very weird and odd. I’ve no problem taking my shoes off if someone asked me to but I wouldn’t be comfortable traipsing around in someone else’s worn slippers.

@Sweet666 I was more wondering where all these people are who just walk straight through mud, dog dirt and into piles of dirt that they leave a trail through their house if wearing shoes.

I mean where I live there are pavements. I walk on the pavement, I avoid any piles of muck dirt or dog dirt. I then use a bristle brush mat at the front door to wipe my feet, then a mat inside the door to wipe again. I’ve never left a mark on my floors. I assume my visitors are the same as I’ve never had to clean all this dirt off my floors after friends come to visit that others seem to have to.

Also those saying it’s obvious they want shoes off as they have a shoe rack and a mat - it’s really not obvious if you are a shoe on households. We have a mat and a shoe cabinet in our hall which is for our shoes!!!!! If someone randomly came into my house, took over their shoes and headed over to open my shoe cabinet to put them in I’d think they were totally odd (well pre reading this thread anyway - now I know shoes off is such a think I probably would get it) but to me it’s like someone coming in, taking off their jumper and helping themselves to a hanger and putting it in my wardrobe!!!

If you want shoes off you need to ask. Most people wouldn’t be offended.