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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Removing shoes indoors

615 replies

diagold4u · 04/03/2021 15:35

Am interested to know how many people actually have the rule of no shoes indoors.
We've had this rule from when I was young and have carried it on when I moved out. I think it makes sense not to walk all over the house with shoes that have been worn outdoors, who knows what you've stood on and then bringing all that in to your home.
I have shoe covers that I provide to workers.
Especially with young children I think it's even more important not to wear outdoor shoes indoor, carpets/rug will harbour all that dirt no matter how much you Hoover up.

My actual aibu is, if someone came to my house as a guest would it be U for me to ask them to remove their shoes? Obviously in a polite manner.
I feel quite embarrassed having to ask when these people already know.
My current house is all flooring with large rugs everywhere, the main living room is carpet.
I've noticed certain extended family members get annoyed at my request but the way I see it, it's my house, if I don't walk with shoes, why should you when you've chosen to come to my house.

OP posts:
tobee · 04/03/2021 22:54

Also would always try to be on the alert if visiting houses that are shoes off because it's only polite in someone else's house to follow their rules no matter what I happen to think.

lightningpeach · 04/03/2021 22:57

We have shoes off rule, just adds to the housework if you walk outside dirt in all the time and then have to clean floors more frequently.
Also with a crawling DD it keeps it cleaner for her.
The thing that annoys me most is when visiting adults remove shoes but let their kids come running on into the lounge cream carpets with shoes on, then tell them to take them off and next thing they're back in there again when they come to leave as kids put shoes back on and run off again.
Its the kids that run in the mud and puddles on the way into our house not the adults!!

Bouledeneige · 04/03/2021 23:00

I do think this is a generational thing (and maybe a class thing). When I grew up no one took their shoes off going into other peoples houses. Houses weren't fully carpeted.

I certainly don't get asked to remove my shoes when I go to friends' houses but I would offer if it seemed to be a thing or they had very pale brand new carpets everywhere. But most of my friends don't. Having pale carpets throughout does seem immensely impractical.

My DC were expected to take their shoes off and I tend to as well but I wouldn't tell someone to who came to my house. I would think that pretty rude and unnecessary. Its a large Edwardian with a cold tiled hall floor and a lot of wood floors downstairs.

I do think however some people have forgotten how to wipe their feet!
My new house that I'm moving to has no carpets but I will put in one or two into some of the bedrooms. I don't think it will be necessary to insist on people taking their shoes off - what do you do if you go out to sit in the garden?

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 04/03/2021 23:04

Asking guests to remove shoes to work on a hard floor is very inhospitable!
I get the cleanliness argument, but not from anyone with a cat or dog in the house, dragging their bum across the floor. My shoes are clean compared to a pet!

BigcatLittlecat · 04/03/2021 23:20

This discussion comes up all the time! I always take my shoes off the minute I get home but I wouldn't dream of asking someone to take off their shoes in my house! Incredibly rude! If they are guests they should be made to feel welcome not awkward!
Going to other people's homes and having to take off shoes just feels so rude and unwelcoming! You are not putting your guest first. As for slippers in a box, that's just horrific! I never wear slippers and when people say no shoes but they have horrible worn down slippers on, I genuinely feel unwelcome!
Some people believe that it is posh and better manners to have shoes off, but it is absolutely the opposite! Not posh and not good manners to make your guests feel awkward.

Notjustanymum · 04/03/2021 23:28

As PP has said, couldn’t you provide hotel style slippers? If I were your guest and needed to use the loo, for example, I’d hate to have to go into a loo or bathroom with stockinged or bare feet!

DrSbaitso · 04/03/2021 23:32

As for slippers in a box, that's just horrific!

You're quite delicate, aren't you?

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 04/03/2021 23:36

I had no idea this was such a thing. We wear slippers in the house, but I would never ask someone to remove their shoes if visiting. In the summer I wear flip-flops instead of slippers and am in and out to the garden all the time. We also have a very hairy cat who is in and out, drifting hair, and with often muddy paws. We hoover, sweep, and mop a lot!

If someone asked me to remove my shoes as a visitor I would obviously do it, but I would be a bit surprised.

tobee · 04/03/2021 23:43

@Notjustanymum

As PP has said, couldn’t you provide hotel style slippers? If I were your guest and needed to use the loo, for example, I’d hate to have to go into a loo or bathroom with stockinged or bare feet!

How about just providing a doormat?

user143677433 · 04/03/2021 23:47

It’s really disgusting when you think of it. Someone would invite me to their house as a guest, and then expect me to walk around in bare feet or tights somewhere where I could be picking up god knows what from the floors - verrucas, worms or flees from pets, god knows what from bathroom floors! Shoes off is fine for family, but if you’ve invited me around for dinner I’m keeping my shoes on.

And those worrying about cream carpets - I’ve had a cream carpet for years and it’s pristine. You just need to vacuum regularly (get a Eufy).

prrrtnyao · 04/03/2021 23:52

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therealteamdebbie · 04/03/2021 23:54

What's amusing is posters who have NEVER heard or met ANYONE who wear their shoes at home in Europe at least.

Give us a break. You are entitled to your preferences, but the fake naivety and shock at such a strange concept Hmm Really?

I have never even been asked to remove my shoes when visiting a property either. It maybe that the owners were not aware the estate agent wouldn't impose it, but the disbelief is ridiculous.

MimosaFields · 04/03/2021 23:54

To the person who asked why I don't want visitors to take off their shoes... well, for the same reason I don't want them to take off their bras, even if they do in their own home. Too familiar. I'd rather hoover when they leave than see their feet.

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 04/03/2021 23:56

I've been looking at beds for dc's room tonight and one firm mentions delivery to a room of your choice - then says, delivery drivers are unable to remove shoes for health and safety reasons. To need that note on the order page some people must have asked someone carrying a bed into their house to remove their shoes! Insane.

Mydogdoesntlisten · 05/03/2021 00:11

I have a dog. Even muddy paw prints hoover out of a fairly pale carpet.
I think it's incredibly uptight and rude to ask guests to remove their shoes, but that's just me.

therealteamdebbie · 05/03/2021 00:15

I will never understand the point of having a house so unpractical you cannot even wear shoes in it and any speck of mud or stain is a disaster, but that's a choice.

People used to put plastic covers on furniture, I am surprised they don't do similar to protect flooring.

bellsbuss · 05/03/2021 00:23

If guests are coming straight into our kitchen family room I don't ask them to remove them as there's no carpet in the hallway or in that room. If we are going in the lounge or upstairs then shoes straight off.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/03/2021 00:31

Family, shoes off everywhere. Visitors: shoes off on the new carpets, definitely keep them on on the very old carpets.

therealteamdebbie · 05/03/2021 00:34

there's a current thread about hand washing.

We somehow live in countries where half the population feels the need to remove their shoes for "hygien", but at the same time need to be told to wash their hands 😂

Sweet666 · 05/03/2021 00:36

To the people who keep shoes on, how doesn't that make it dirty? Sometimes if I'm in a rush i go through the house wearing shoes but it leaves mud and dirt especially this time of year

Mydogdoesntlisten · 05/03/2021 01:06

It does. I hoover it up. I'd rather a bit of dirt on the floor than making guests feel uncomfortable.

BoomBoomsCousin · 05/03/2021 01:20

@Sweet666

To the people who keep shoes on, how doesn't that make it dirty? Sometimes if I'm in a rush i go through the house wearing shoes but it leaves mud and dirt especially this time of year
When we used to keep our shoes on all the time, I don't recall vaccing any more than I do now and the place didn't seem any more dirty. I wipe my shoes on the mat when I enter a house and that normally cleans them right up. I suppose I might be particularly careful if it had been raining and especially if I had been out in the mud.
PolkadotZebras · 05/03/2021 01:25

Uuugh imagine all of the germs on people's shoes. Gross. We wash our hands when we come inside and remove shoes. I actually do not know anybody who wears shoes outdoors and keeps them on when they go inside. Gross.

Understandingnotignorance · 05/03/2021 01:25

I know people who expect others to take their shoes off when you visit their homes and yet have come over to our house (which have cream carpets throughout by the way) and have waltzed in with shoes on! Find it so rude that they don't treat other houses with the same respect so I ask them to remove their shoes.

Catlover77 · 05/03/2021 06:40

Do people really offer visitors a pair of old slippers to wear? Even offering new slippers is weird, awkward and inhospitable