I don't want to hear about cruise ship holidays.

[CruisingBob]

My parents worked very hard, retired and like to go away on cruise ships.

For the last 15 years they have probably gone every nine months for at least a fortnight, often six weeks even did the epic round the world.

Some have been a bit miserable with norovirus and other flu type bugs. The round the world one lost it's novelty. On the whole they have really enjoyed them, the social side, the whistle stop tours, the food.

We are happy for them, their money, they worked hard, their choices.

But AIBU I don't want to hear any more about them, it's just making me angry.
I have two teens sharing a bedroom, we are working hard, our modest holiday plans were torn apart last year. I just want my kids back in school and free to see their friends.

Everytime I speak to my parents, cruises get mentioned. They've missed two during covid. First it was "wasn't it awful Australia refusing entry to the cruise ship" then worried about deposits, terms and conditions and refunds, then new dates being released, it just goes on and on.

I've said " look for a new type of holiday, you've had a good run, something different"

Their vaccination has just given them fresh fuel along with the relentless marketing from the cruise companies.

AIBU to just not want to hear anymore about bloody cruises?

@CruisingBob I apologise for telling you to ‘stop being a dick’ I was referring to your feelings in your OP and not you personally. I’m sorry, you seem like a lovely person reading through some of your posts. My response was a knee jerk reaction to your opening post. I genuinely wouldn’t have an issue if my Mum went on regular cruises, in fact I’d love it! She’s only retired last year age 72!

No apology necessary @MrsScarlett007, that's why I love Mumsnet. At it's best, it tells you to:
Don't be a dick
Get a grip
We hear you
It is annoying
Vent on here, get it out your system
Allowing you to be a better person in real life.

I don't want it sugarcoated, my parents are really annoying but they are the only ones I've got. I draw comfort that I'm not the only one to be revolted on eco grounds and the clothes thing is annoying, etc but their choice, not mine.

@Alexandernevermind

I couldn't do Butlins on a boat, but each to their own. They have worked hard presumably and saved hard, gone through their own financial struggles when you were young, so why shouldn't they be excited about their holiday? They are going on about it as there is little else to talk about atm,l that isn't doom and gloom, except for gossip about Mr & Mrs Markel.

If you have been on a cruise you would know that there is no comparison whatsoever to Butlins. Tak versus luxury as that is what cruise ships are.

YABU. You should be happy that they have something to look forward too as many people have lost their loved ones. Let them enjoy their life and what they have worked for. They raised you now let them enjoy their time.

You are not being unreasonable.
They are they are two people making sure their leave as much pollution behind them as they could before they die.
Never been on a cruise ship and since I learnt how polluting cruise ships are, I think they are an industry that needs to go unless the boats they manage somehow to run on renewable energy. This is not sustainable.

Not to mention how they ruin the places they visit without putting anything much back into the economy - it is a plague of parasites for places like Venice and indeed even my lovely Scotland is not immune, with tourists being dropped of at Leith for a tour of 'the Highlands'. Where in the highlands? They haven't a bloody clue, but they have ticked the highlands off their list. Tragic.

A mega ship cruise is my idea of hell. But if they enjoy it, what’s the problem? If they’re boring you on phone, invent a reason to get off line. And speak another day.

@CruisingBob

We're not a money handout type of family. They did the work, they're choices.

We've had a year of weekly phonecalls all mentioning cruises, none of it positive. They could have booked country house weekends, city hotels with theatre. Food, spas, country walks, used taxis, met cruise ship friends on dry land.

Am I really being miserable about not wanting to hear about Cunard's latest booking conditions.
My parents are not even interested on the rare occasion we have been somewhere before or after them. It's less about the place or the people more about ticking it off.

I can't believe in a worldwide pandemic that they can still be fixated on travelling on a floating Butlins.

You only speak to your parents once a week???

YANBU I used to work on one. It was bloody awful.

I dream of being old, rich and retired in order to become a cruise bore! YABU!

"You only speak to your parents once a week"
Why is that weird? I hardly speak to mine once a fortnight. Love them dearly but they and I are busy!

@HeadNorth

Not to mention how they ruin the places they visit without putting anything much back into the economy - it is a plague of parasites for places like Venice and indeed even my lovely Scotland is not immune, with tourists being dropped of at Leith for a tour of 'the Highlands'. Where in the highlands? They haven't a bloody clue, but they have ticked the highlands off their list. Tragic.

You are right. They don't spend any money in the places they visit. They all rush back in time to feed at the trough that's afternoon tea. The cruise bores never even get to have an evening meal or sample the night life the places they visit because the cruise companies want any spare no e.g. to go back to them. The cruise ships sail away from each destinations stupidly early, usually between 4 and 6pm. It's important to have all the passengers back on board and spending money in the numerous onboard bars and shops.

any spare money

@Mummadeze

I dream of being old, rich and retired in order to become a cruise bore! YABU!

Whatever floats your boat (pun intended) and we're all different but I dream of being old, healthy, enjoying and supporting my friends and family, living much the same as I do now and staying as far away from the kind of cliched 'old peoples' pusuits as much as possible. No golf, no early birds and definitely no cruises. I don't really understand this sort of line that we are meant to cross at a certain age where 'having worked all our lives' we now change tastes, become bores and feel justified in not caring about our families or the world we are leaving behind.

I would just be happy my parents are healthy enough to enjoy them.

@Ibizafun

I would just be happy my parents are healthy enough to enjoy them.

That's true. My parents are housebound.

YANBU. Boring others with the minutiae of your life isn’t good conversation. See also home renovations when your friends/family are renting. Or endless agonising over which posh school to send your kids to when the rest of your social circle is going to the local comprehensive. Even parents should read the room. I’m sure there are plenty of cruise groups for them to chat in.

@Ibizafun

I would just be happy my parents are healthy enough to enjoy them.

Well you are clearly a better person than I....if my parents were as careless of my feelings, as lacking in perspective and as dull as the OPs parents sound, I would struggle to be all that happy for them. Maybe the first few holidays, but 15 years later? Time to change the record.

@HeadNorth

Not to mention how they ruin the places they visit without putting anything much back into the economy - it is a plague of parasites for places like Venice and indeed even my lovely Scotland is not immune, with tourists being dropped of at Leith for a tour of 'the Highlands'. Where in the highlands? They haven't a bloody clue, but they have ticked the highlands off their list. Tragic.

All inclusive resorts in the Caribbean are the same. No money goes into the local economy.

I had counselling when my exH had an affair & we divorced. I realised that I put up not only with unreasonable behaviour from him, but provided unreasonable parent-pleasing by letting my parents use me to constantly talk at.

The counselling helped me see that the only people I am responsible for are my DC. All other relationships are adult-adult and therefore should be a balance of talking and listening.

Cut the conversation of cruises off, a few yes and hmm sounds. Then try a different direction or something needs your attention at home have to go. Time after say "I don't go on cruises myself, I'll tell you about our plans for..." if they don't listen, seriously give up trying and keep contact low.

Look on the bright side: at least you don’t have to go on the cruise yourself.
I cannot think of a worse fate than being locked up in a floating prison full of incredibly boring people. I would genuinely prefer to spend a month in a real prison. At least the other inmates would have some decent stories to tell.

@Enough4me

I had counselling when my exH had an affair & we divorced. I realised that I put up not only with unreasonable behaviour from him, but provided unreasonable parent-pleasing by letting my parents use me to constantly talk at.

The counselling helped me see that the only people I am responsible for are my DC. All other relationships are adult-adult and therefore should be a balance of talking and listening.

Cut the conversation of cruises off, a few yes and hmm sounds. Then try a different direction or something needs your attention at home have to go. Time after say "I don't go on cruises myself, I'll tell you about our plans for..." if they don't listen, seriously give up trying and keep contact low.

That sounds similar to something I had...was it transactional analysis?

• You are right. They don't spend any money in the places they visit.

Not true and as an example i generally go ashore and have a pre-booked private tour with someone like an art historian that lasts all day. They’re in no way connected with the cruise company and I find them online months ahead of the trip. The last person I did a tour with was a retired university professor and we spent the day walking round Florence and seeing some art. I’d got there by train from where we’d docked and it was very obvious on the train that many of the cruise passengers were also going it alone and not doing the ships shore excursions. It was one of the best days ever and worth every considerable penny I spent in the local economy. Another day on the same cruise I spent the day at the home of an Italian chef learning to cook. It wasn’t organised by the cruise company and co-incidentally there were 3 other people who were also from the ship.

They all rush back in time to feed at the trough that's afternoon tea

Some do. Some don’t. And those who do are probably no different to some of those who go on AI holidays and make pigs of themselves.

The cruise bores never even get to have an evening meal or sample the night life the places they visit because the cruise companies want any spare no e.g. to go back to them. The cruise ships sail away from each destinations stupidly early, usuallybetween 4 and 6pm

Many a cruise has 11pm or midnight as back on board and people do eat in local restaurants when ashore.

It's important to have all the passengers back on board and spending money in the numerous onboard bars and shops

It’s very easy to go on a cruise and not spend anything on board. It’s what I do because I’m not much of a drinker and if I do have a drink I have one ashore.

I hope your silly generalisations made you feel better. They certainly made me notice you but definitely not in a good way.

I think your parents over the years have just become part of the cruise culture lifestyle and they are just ticking off boxes instead of actually absorbing different cultures.

But seriously, in the big scheme of things, is that a huge problem??

YANBU ... I see your parents constantly bragging about their extended holidays and moaning about having had (at least 2) cancelled/postponed over the past year, as rubbing your face in the fact that they are able to do this, especially when they can clearly see that you're having a particularly tough time for whatever reason.

I appreciate that you don't have issue with them having these holidays because they've worked hard all their lives and deserve to enjoy their retirement, but I totally agree that you've heard enough about them.

Have you ever considered finding a subject that they absolutely hate and have no interest in, then consistently talking "at" them about it even if/when they repeatedly ask you to stop talking about it because they're not interested in that subject? Then each time you could say "this is how it feels, constantly having to put up with being force fed the minutiae of your cruises, I don't begrudge you them but I'm just plain sick of hearing about them, it feels like you're rubbing my face in it and until you stop doing it, I'm going to continue talking to you about this subject that you don't want to hear about and eventually you'll realise how I feel and will/ talk to me about something I might actually be interested in for a change".

This might seem harsh but sometimes you just have to stand your ground and not let them walk all over you!

@littlepattilou

Have to agree with the comment that just because someone is loaded at 62-63+ (or any other age actually,) that doesn't necessarily mean they have worked really hard for it. Just like if someone is broke, it doesn't mean they haven't worked hard.

Some (not ALL) people over 62-63, (aka boomers,) have been fortunate to have had big payments from endowment policies, (when they paid out well!) and big pay-offs from work when they finished, and gold-plated final salary pensions. I know a few people who have given their (adult) child £40,000 for a deposit on their first house. Most people I know could never save that much in their lifetime, let alone give that much away!

I have also known a few cases of people (over 60,) being ripped off for £35,000 or so, after giving a scammer their bank details, because the scammer convinced them to invest in a scheme that would make them an extra £25,000.

But their other 4 bank accounts are OK, where they have £125,000, £155,000, £277,000, and £99,000 in them! It's unbelievable the amount of money some retired people have. (And they weren't all in flash, very highly-paid careers either... Many were in fairly ordinary jobs that needed little or no qualifications... They just got bloody lucky, and were in that job for their entire working life, they were on a high salary when they left, and they had a huge payout when they retired! As well as a gold-plated private pension.)

Some pessimistic people might say these people with more money than sense, who were trying to make more money, deserved to lose it. Bit mean to say, but it is hard to have sympathy when people lose money to a scam, when they were trying to make more money!

@CruisingBob I was probably a bit harsh in my first post. Yeah, it must be a bit annoying to hear someone go on about luxurious trips when you are on the bones of your arse. So yeah YANBU.

I agree with a few posters that it's baffling that someone with loads of extra money would see their adult children suffering financially whilst they go off on cruises...

You know what to do when your parents need help when they're older, and infirm, and needing care. Fuck off on a cruise!

It's really sad that some people think like this... My Mum worked all her life and ended up being screwed out of her pension by RBS (long, awful story) who she'd worked for, for decades.

She's now a widow on state pension. Owns her tiny home outright (thank god) and lives on £400 state pension per month with whacking great credit card debt (from all the unexpected expenses she couldn't cover over the years since my Dad died). It's awful and she's miserable. So it breaks my heart to think that there are people out there who could possibly presume she is in any way loaded.

She has £4 spare every month