We have been seperated nearly 2 years, and in that time his contact with our 2 childre aged 14 and 12 has been sporadic. He has a new life and is very much all about that. He has tried very hard to get at me, and I have tried very hard to keep my cool (thanks to my amazing BF who doesnt mind me ranting at her about his dickish behaviour). The kids are fine becase they are used to him not being involved in family stuff, we did a lot of stuff on our own because if we waited for him to do something, we weould never do it, or it wouldnt be suitable - for example he wanted to do a trip to Poland and visit Auschwitz when the kids were younger; DD cant have been more than 7. When I suggested this was a bad idea, he got really angry and said that I always ruin everything. Our 14yo is severely autistic and he does not have any regard for his condition or wellbeing.
Anyway, every year for the last 10 years or so, I have taken the kids to a caravan park holiday for the last weekend of the summer holidays. XH never came, said it was too tacky and 'not his thing'. I always book when we come back from the alst one as you get a discount, he knows this. DS especially looks forward to it. Its marked on his calendar and its part of his build up back to school which can be a tricky time.
Yesterday got an email from XH to say that he wants to take the kids way that week. I responded saying that we are already going away that weekend, and he replied 'suppose you will have to cancel, I want that week and I never get to take them away'. This is true in part - he has never taken them away. I think in the last 6 months they have seen him twice (maybe three times for DD). We didnt see them over Christmas. I try and aid some kind of contact but as I say, he has his new life family now.
I want to tell him to piss off, mainly because of the effect it will have on DS, however a small part of me wants them to have a relationship with him.
YABU - Let them go with him
YANBU - Tell him to piss off.