Homeless guy

[2021ishere2021]

There is a homeless guy near the hospital I work in he is so lovely and polite. I buy him hot chocolate and a sandwich any day I see him.

I want to ask him if there is some way I can help/ enable him. Is that a strange thing to do? My colleagues seem to think it is a super odd, like there is no hope and he will fleece me (I'm not ridiculously naive or anything. I wouldn't go giving him cash or anything daft like that).

AIBU to sit down next to him and ask him I can help?

AIBU and I am just naive / won't be able to help?

Yanbu. People at the bottom of society need people to notice they exist.

YANBU You won't know that you can't help unless you ask.

This is a good way to help www.streetlink.org.uk/

I realised I wrote the AIBU wrong 😳

Any suggestion on how or what to do would be gratefully received.

Every day I seem I feel like it is so patronising to give him stuff but not help him. He is a good guy with so much going for him but just needs something....

@Bettafish

Is that some sort of intervention group? Is there anything practical I can do.

I don't you're unreasonable but I really don't think this would play out how you expect.

I guarantee he is already aware of how to get help, the reasons why he isn't accessing that help might be complex and it's probably not something you will be able to easily fix.

@Mrshook

How do you even brooch the subject? Offering a coffee is easy. I am worried he will just say can I have x money and I won't want to give cash if I don't know where it is going. If I then don't give money it is like I don't care, do you know what i mean?

Sorry I am not trying to be difficult. I genuinely want to help but I just don't know how to (above buying food and offering 5 mins small talk)

He’s probably aware

@Hont1986

Exactly what I was thinking but couldn't articulate

I think he’ll be aware of how/where he can request help. I don’t think you should do anything else except what you’re doing. I’m sure he’s touched by your kindness and I think you’re lovely to give him food and drinks. I think to suggest things could make it awkward if he doesn’t take you up on anything, and you don’t know the full story. What a nice person you are.

@2021ishere2021. Street link will put him in touch with appropriate services - they are professionals.. However, as Hont says, he is probably aware of how to access help already and is choosing not engage for whatever reason.

A friend of mine works for a homelessness charity. She specifically says that if you want to help a homeless person the best way to do it is to signpost them to the various well established charities and organisations who have the experience and resources to help. Your heart is in the right place OP but what do you really think you can do? I’m glad you’ve said you won’t give cash - which my friend also warns against - and sandwiches/coffee is the best alternative help to offer someone who is obviously not engaging with local services.

I suppose maybe just starting up that conversation asking how things are going and take it from there. It might not be easy as they may not be used to people chatting. Well done for caring most people sadly would just ignore him.

I'm willing to bet you know less than him about homeless serving organisations.

I work in housing and will talk to people about options every now and again.

The best a lay person can do is what you're doing, saying hi and seeing someone. Chatting is great, introducing yourself properly if you haven't etc. He'll talk if he wants to.

All good advice above. He's probably aware of the services etc, but if you regularly but him for and a drink, perhaps being some for you too next time and ask if it's ok to sit down near him. Then take it slow with a chat - he may not want to talk, much less open up, but if he does then that can give you an opportunity to signpost if needed

He is easy to chat to on a non personal basis. Just chit chat about how quiet the streets are etc. Nothing heavy.

I came on here to see if I was missing something, it appears I am not. I am sure he is aware of the services available.... he is an articulate person. I am sure his problems are complex and there are no easy fixes.

I would ask him if he’s getting any help from the local homeless organisations/are they aware of him etc and then if he’s not out him in contact with them. Before you approach him have a google on what is in your area; there’s not a magical solution but there is help out there

Not a way to help his situation in the grand scheme, but something that might be different from just the odd coffee and quite humanising could be to take him a book once in a while. It could be something you've enjoyed reading or it could be a puzzle book or something. Just a "saw this and thought of you" or "I was having a clear out and thought you might like this". I think the fact you are thinking of him will matter more than the content of the book, but that said, you could perhaps give him a copy of The Alchemist or Yes Man which are both quite positive books about shaping your life without being too self-helpy/preachy. If nothing else, it will give you something else to talk about.

@user1493413286

Googling what is going on is a good idea. More natural because it is in the moment.

I can't believe he wouldn't know what is available. Maybe he is happy just how he is or he feels the solution is worse than the problem. I don't know, too deep to ask in the interactions I have with him. I wouldn't want to embarrass him either.

I'll keep donating to shelter and enjoying the time with my coffee buddy 😘

@IsThisNews

That is a genius idea. I would never have thought of that. I offered a newspaper once but a book is more natural

I think there’s a high chance he does know about the services on offer; it’s mainly the newly homeless that don’t in my experience. I imagine there are complex reasons why things are the way they are for him. I’d also buy him a bottle of water every so often as water is often quite hard to come by for people who are homeless

Second recommendation for you to use street link (link posted above). I did this recently and got email back to say as a result an outreach team had spoken with him and made sure he had support and he’s now on their radar type message. This during the freezing snap earlier. His place has now been taken by someone else. Hope he’s off the streets/safer.

I think you can't fix this person's problems but you could give money to another organisation whilst also continuing to be supportive of this person by speaking to them.

You have to keep a little barrier up just in case.

But you could if you wanted approach an organisation e.g. church with an outreach scheme or Salvation Army and ask them if they could approach him and ask if there is something he needs and then you could provide it through a proxy to retain some anonymity.

Could you buy him a voucher for a supermarket so he can have something to eat for a few days? Not giving him cash then - although you would hope it doesn't get stolen or sold on obvs

I don’t think there is much on offer for homeless people. Maybe food and some clothes but I don’t think there is access to accommodation or more solid help. Maybe for a night or two but not long term.