Homeless guy

[2021ishere2021]

There is a homeless guy near the hospital I work in he is so lovely and polite. I buy him hot chocolate and a sandwich any day I see him.

I want to ask him if there is some way I can help/ enable him. Is that a strange thing to do? My colleagues seem to think it is a super odd, like there is no hope and he will fleece me (I'm not ridiculously naive or anything. I wouldn't go giving him cash or anything daft like that).

AIBU to sit down next to him and ask him I can help?

AIBU and I am just naive / won't be able to help?

It’s really hard regarding the housing cause options will often have been offered. The reasons they’re not taken are very often significant and complex - hostel place with people you’re so scared of that street sleeping is better/ being moved out of area where you feel comfortable etc
Keep being nice and talking and ask if there’s any ways you can help but if you’re told there’s not been any help offered form services keep in mind they’ll probably be helping as much as they can and various avenues may have already been explored.
Equally though this may be someone who has t yet appeared on anyone’s radar so an open mind is always good

We have a homeless guy living in the woods near us, he personally loves it, he is well know round our area, and is loved by loads of people, there is a designated place where we can leave food for him or cloths, he never goes hungry, he is not an alcoholic or drug addict either, he has had endless chances to come off the streets but he simply doesnt want to

If you feel you'd like to help perhaps donate to a homeless charity. I am sure he really appreciates you take time for him and have a chat. Maybe he likes it that you aren't wanting to talk about what else he can do/who should contact. I would just do what you are doing, ask him what drink and sandwich he prefers.

Of course Yanbu to try to help, but its worth thinking about what that help might look like, and what your boundaries might be?

This isn't meant to sound mean but how were you thinking of helping him? Helping him with what?

It might be that there are some "simple" problems that you can help fix eg books for boredom, posting things, washing things etc. Often having a chat can be helpful, someone I know once told me the kindest thing anyone did for them whilst they were NFA was a specific home cooked meal after they had mentioned it to someone in passing as a food they missed. Would you feel comfortable him using your phone for example? Or giving him a lift somewhere?

I agree the best places to link him in tend to be established services. Your friends could be right in that its possibly naiive to think that you can swoop in and fix homelessness but you might be able to help in some way

Its important though that you ask him what he wants and what might be helpful. Would you like someone deciding whats best for you and that the are going to help you without even asking you for permission or what you might need help with first? Its easy to get carried away with viewing yourself as a saviour, but he is an adult and likely to know best.

People often decide things for homeless people, or think that somehow they will be able to "save them" despite having much less experience of the situation, no idea how service work which can feel very patronising if they have years of experience of navigating systems and are incredibly smart and able,
yet someone else feels that as a passerby that might be able to "fix" it .

For example he might like help filling in forms or equally he might be very educated and find that incredibly patronising. He might want support with housing but might not. Its not a one size fits all

Its not to say you can't help, but tread carefully, respectfully and work together

@Stratfordplace

It will depend where you are. Locally to me there is a service where people of no fixed address can use washing machines, have a postal address, see health care people, have coffee and meals, shower etc. Obviously there are supports with accommodation in other services, out reach team delivering food, specialist mh services for people with no fixed address.

I don't live in a city either

YANBU but before you do so, have a good think about what you actually think you can do to help. Because offering an open offer of help may lead to requests that are either inappropriate or unachievable which may leave you or him feeling uncomfortable.

Really, the best thing to do for HIS sake is be a friendly face, have a chat, and bring him info on seeking help (if he wants it, he may not). Information on how to access services.

The reality is there's probably a vast and complex history to his rough sleeping, one that you can't really help with. He needs to engage with a decent organisation.

So have a think first. Maybe offering friendship is enough. Please don't offer accommodation, work etc as this is likely to get very complicated. He needs professional input.

You sound like a lovely person. I'm sure he appreciates you looking out for him.

If you want to help, give money or your time to a charity dedicated to helping homeless people.

Do not engage with the individual homeless people yourself, whether it is by giving them money or buying them food. You're not trained to deal with them and could find yourself in a world of problems.

As the advertisement says, "loose change doesn't make change."

stratford at the moment due to Covid most LAs are housing homeless people (is the scheme called 'Everybody In' or something like that?) in the town I live in all the homeless people have been offered accommodation in local hotels and some have now been moved to permanent flats etc. We do have one local guy who refuses to accept any help or engage with the local agencies .... it is a very difficult and complex situation.

You're doing alot to help him anyway. I don't think there's a realistic next step in providing help on a personal level.

I used to get sandwiches and drinks for a guy in Croydon and also used to sit with him and talk to him each day. It made a difference to his life and that's about the best you can hope for I think.