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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is unbelievably shit from the police?

292 replies

TheLostDiadem · 01/03/2021 21:04

Six weeks ago my elderly mum had her house burgled while she was asleep upstairs. Not a lot of valuable things were taken as she doesn’t really have much but my (deceased) dad’s medals were taken, her laptop, a box of jewellery belonging to my grandma was taken and her cat was found downstairs with a broken rib where we assume he was kicked (but obviously can’t be certain it was the burglar).

She phoned the local police number and was told to report it online. I came round to do it and help her tidy up and make sure she was ok etc. 48hrs later and still heard nothing from the police so I called them to be told they were incredibly busy and responses can take up to a week. Finally, 8 days after being robbed my mum gets an answer phone message from the police saying they’ve received her report and given her a crime reference number so she can claim on insurance. If she has any further queries she can email them and they’ll get back to her. No enquiry, not welfare check, nothing. Just a crime reference number over a week later.

I live with my dc in the same town. In the garden of my house is an outhouse that is currently being renovated so that when my dm becomes less independent she can live there. It’s nearly finished and has been separated off from my house and has a separate entrance and drive. The electricity had finally been connected last week so last night I decided to do a sleep over there with dc, just for something to do. At 12.15 I was woken up by police hammering on the door. They immediately asked me my address and what I was doing there. I said I lived next door, was sleeping over with dc, had something happened, was dm ok as I assumed something bad had happened. They wouldn’t tell me anything just asked for proof of address. I said it was all next door and they demanded I go and get it. I wasn’t happy leaving dc alone with the police so had to wake them up and drag them over and back again while I got my driving license. It was only then that I realised they thought that I was breaking lockdown rules (very touristy area). I gave them driving license and got a lecture on how we weren’t supposed to leave home unless absolutely necessary, fancying a sleep over wasn’t necessary and I wasn’t to do it again. I asked if it was any different to camping in the garden and was that allowed, what possible harm am I doing sleeping in what is basically a garage and was asked “are you sure you want to do this? You have your children with you and I’m sure you don’t want a scene”. I found this genuinely quite frightening as it was two big, male police officers and I was alone with two young dc. They then left after telling me to make sure I stay at home from now on and that they wouldn’t take further action this time.

TLDR - my mum was burgled and police responded a week later with a crime reference number and nothing else

I slept in the converted garage in the garden with 2dc and was woken in the night by 2 police men to be lectured firmly about lockdown rules.

If I’m not being unreasonable do you think a complaint would be warranted? I’m one of those people who have never really had any dealings with the police and sort of assumed they’d be on my side. Really shocked at what I’ve experienced the 2 times I’ve actually dealt with them though.

OP posts:
Tubs11 · 01/03/2021 23:15

This is shocking! Clearly burglaries like your poor vulnerable mum experienced are not being prioritised over lockdown flouting call outs. Such lunacy, needs reporting

Wakaranaihito · 01/03/2021 23:16

I witnessed really heavy handed Covid policing this weekend. 3 coppers ignored all the huge mixed groups or groups of young men but harassed a woman with 2 kids. So frightening for her. Never felt more disgust for police behaviour in my life. Am really mild mannered irl but has whipped my phone out and was filming the encounter before you could say 'police brutality.'

MmeLaraque · 01/03/2021 23:16

@MadameButterface

when you hear about heavy handed lockdown policing, it's usually naice middle-class women like you op, or the two women walking in Derbyshire while holding coffee. meanwhile in the scrotiest areas of my city, gangs of mainly young men are all congregating on street corners all night like it's just normal life, and no one seems to say boo to them. weird huh.
Those two women were not "just out walking". There was considerable backlash in their local area about what they did. They drove several miles to walk in a beauty spot in a small village that they don't live in. . They also apparently managed to change outfits to go *back and have their photos taken.

The OP was being harrassed. Someone called that in. Police know that nothing will happen to *them, which is why they did it.

saraclara · 01/03/2021 23:17

@Ihatemyseleffordoingthis

I don't care if no-one agrees.
Which is fine, but can you at least explain why you think it was against lockdown rules? Then we can try to understand your thinking.
lolulop · 01/03/2021 23:17

Sorry about your mother, I was burgled 18 yrs ago & had a similar experience.

Torvean · 01/03/2021 23:18

I was burgled pre-Covid. I did not have anything major taken. The police came to take a statement that night, it was late like around 1am or so. The next day the guy came round to try and get finger prints ( so I spent the whole night and next morning trying to not touch or move things. They got 1 partial print but nobody was ever caught. There was a spate in our area for around 2 weeks, then it stopped.
They're supposed to give you an information card on support for victims of crime.

I'd be complaining about your mothers treatment.

saltandsugar · 01/03/2021 23:19

I think the cops are dickheads a lot of the time - your story is prime example of it

Redrunbluerun · 01/03/2021 23:20

I usually support the police, they have a hard job. But bloody hell, not bothering to investigate a burglary when someone (old and vulnerable) is in the house sleeping? Round here they still investigate those!

But to have the time to moan at you about essentially camping in your own garden. When they realised their mistake they should have apologised not continued with being wrong.
Such an ego thing that, to continue and refuse to admit you’re wrong.

lolulop · 01/03/2021 23:21

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis
I don't care if no-one agrees

I expect you experience that a lot 🙄

ArabellaScott · 01/03/2021 23:23

Utterly fucking unacceptable. I would also go to the papers with this, OP. You probably won't actually need to go far, mind you.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/03/2021 23:23

That is utterly shit, I'm so sorry. Yes you should complain - it's unlikely to make a difference but you never know, it might!

Dreadful behaviour from them.

saraclara · 01/03/2021 23:23

When we were burgled in the night, the police knew before we did. I came downstairs to find my front door ajar, and I could hear someone talking on a radio on my drive. Someone had found my work bag abandoned on the grass verge at the side of my house. It had something with my address in so they called the police. The officer had just arrived to investigate as I came downstairs.

They were great. Fingerprints were taken a few hours later, and they got in touch with the local Crime Watch group, who found my work laptop under the co-ordinators hedge, where it had been hidden to be picked up later apparently! The burglars picked the entirely wrong place to leave it Grin

Couldn't fault the police, basically.

MaxNormal · 01/03/2021 23:25

Those two women were not "just out walking". There was considerable backlash in their local area about what they did. They drove several miles to walk in a beauty spot in a small village that they don't live in

Oh whoop-de-fucking-do, seriously. So did we this weekend. So did probably half the country.

GabsAlot · 01/03/2021 23:30

i think its disgusting really-your poor mum hope shes ok

youre right to not even check shes ok was really bad and then rocking up in the night when someone is sleeping at the end of their garden is ridiclous

JaniceBattersby · 01/03/2021 23:33

Speak to your local newspaper.

I understand there have been cutbacks but unless there is major publicity around police officers not being able to visit the elderly victims of serious crimes, the government will continue to under-fund our police forces. It’s absolutely despicable. How is she ever supposed to feel safe again. Public confidence in the police is consistently undermined by terrible stories like yours.

Frazzled2207 · 01/03/2021 23:40

I’m really shocked.
I can kind of see the reason they came round (not in the middle of the night though) but it should have been a simple case of “oh right I see sorry to have bothered you”.
Please do complain.

MercyBooth · 01/03/2021 23:42

Absolutely Kafkesque

Nith · 01/03/2021 23:44

Complain formally about the police who came to your house. Saying that they would take further action next time if you did it again is pure nonsense: they must know perfectly well that you haven't committed any offence.

TonTonMacoute · 01/03/2021 23:47

Complain to your MP.

DdraigGoch · 01/03/2021 23:48

Sadly little old ladies living alone being robbed of everything they hold dear gains no points for the Superintendent towards his next promotion. If she'd told them that it was a "hate crime" I can guarantee that an officer would have been straight around.

Nith · 01/03/2021 23:53

And you were breaking lockdown rules thoughI don't think they should have spoken to you in that way or frightened you or your children

No, she wasn't.

To all intents and purposes - its a separate dwelling, or so it would appear

It's a separate building, not a separate dwelling at this stage. It's no different from people who have a separate building as a guest annexe, swimming pool, hobby room, gym etc.

I don't care if no-one agrees

It's not a matter of opinion with which you can agree or disagree, it is a straight statement of fact.

Roo84 · 01/03/2021 23:54

As an officer myself posts like this make my blood boil, and for two reasons.
One being the down right shit experience you have had, it is truly not the norm. In my force all dwelling burglaries would be attended by at least a uniformed officer and are taken very seriously with teams set to deal with just these type of jobs. The covid incident at your home does not sound great, and you would be well within your rights to complain. As already said, the officers carry body cams which would have captured the incident.
And two...how so many people like to cop bash and tar us all with the same brush.
I am a totally different person to each and every other officer in this country! I take pride in the job that I do which is completely shit at times, but I still like to think I treat everyone with the respect they deserve and know many other who are the same. There will always be bad apples and we don't always get it right, but please, don't mark us all up as the same. You wouldn't do it with many other things in life so why with police officers?!

WhereverIlaymyhat2021 · 01/03/2021 23:56

Indeed @MadameButterface

DdraigGoch · 02/03/2021 00:12

@VashtaNerada

Spoke to DH who is a police officer. He said that the cutbacks by central government are horrendous and (where we are anyway) burglary jobs now go out to uniform teams as opposed to detectives, who don’t always have the same training when it comes to investigation or victim care. Their case loads are so exceptionally high (again because of the cutbacks) that they often don’t have time to do more than a voicemail. That said, he’s really disappointed they didn’t handle it better and offer your mum at the very least some sympathy for such a horrible crime. On the other issue he thinks they messed up as you certainly are allowed to sleep in your own garage. He said you could put in a complaint.
It's not like this is anything new though, burglaries haven't been taken seriously for at least 20 years. Officers have been saying "the job's f*ed" to each other for yonks now. PC Stuart Davidson started blowing the whistle on mismanagement in 2004.
Coyoacan · 02/03/2021 00:13

And the worst thing about them not investigating burglaries is that those burglars go on to burgle a lot of other houses and some people are severely disturbed by the idea of strangers entering them home.

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