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AIBU?

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Original poster

I feel nothing when we have sex. Is it over?

39 replies

Isitoveroramiabadperson · 01/03/2021 00:34

I have been with my partner for three years and we have a one year old DS. For the past few months, I’ve been having sex out of necessity. After a sexless relationship beforehand, it’s almost like I have to do it to avoid that happening again. But I’m there waiting for him to finish so it can be over. I hate kissing him (he goes weeks without brushing his teeth) and any oral — whenever there actually is any — makes me cringe.

But he’s a great dad. A really great dad. But I’ve been supporting the family financially for months now while doing 50:50 childcare and it’s exhausting.

I still think he’s attractive and a nice person. But is this a sign it’s over?

Because my last relationship wasn’t a healthy one, it makes me question whether I’m just looking into things too much. But sex is a huge deal to me, and I’ve got the ‘ick’.

I don’t want to split up my family. But I’m longing for more, please help.

OP posts:
Whatsnewpussyhat · 01/03/2021 00:37

When you say you're supporting the family do you mean he isn't working?

Why doesn't the filthy minger brush his teeth 🤮

buttonsandbobbinses · 01/03/2021 00:38

He goes weeks without brushing his teeth?! Why??

flakymate · 01/03/2021 00:38

Sorry what? Weeks between brushing his teeth?

Original poster
Isitoveroramiabadperson · 01/03/2021 00:38

No, he isn’t working. We are having financial difficulties but he hasn’t looked for a new job (he lost his). And I don’t know. He’s always been like that.

OP posts:
flakymate · 01/03/2021 00:39

You don’t have ick, he’s just straight up unattractive. Anyone would be repulsed by a man that doesn’t brush his teeth.

starray · 01/03/2021 00:59

Why would you even want to kiss a man who doesn't brush his teeth?!

lioncitygirl · 01/03/2021 01:01

🤮 that’s disgusting. Sorry op.

Cordial11 · 01/03/2021 01:08

If he doesn't brush his teeth then what is he like with showering? I wouldn't be kissing or doing oral with someone that unhygienic!!!!

Apileofballyhoo · 01/03/2021 01:13

Great Dads brush their teeth so that teeth brushing is a normal thing to DC.

Also don't know what you mean by 50:50 childcare.

Apileofballyhoo · 01/03/2021 01:13

What I mean is it should be 50:50 time off.

Panicatthegarden · 01/03/2021 01:16

Great Dads brush their teeth so that teeth brushing is a normal thing to DC.

This

Notapheasantplucker · 01/03/2021 01:16

That's fucking gross🤮

SplendidSuns1000 · 01/03/2021 01:37

Speak to him, say you want him to focus on his personal hygiene because it's off putting. Other than that, it could just be stress lowering your libido. Either focus on trying to reduce stress in your life where possible or perhaps speak to your gp for some support. Are you a particularly anxious person?

DaiquirisinDorset · 01/03/2021 01:39

Weeks/teeth?? That's definitely not a mistake? That's probably a dealbreaker for anyone, isn't it?

Chamomileteaplease · 01/03/2021 06:29

Your OP is a string of inconsistencies Sad.

How can he be attractive and a nice person if a) he's not brushing his teeth and b) isn't working yet only provides 50% of the childcare?

Your bar is set too low. Why isn't he finding work? And if he wants to be a SAHP why isn't he doing his fair share at home?

And as everyone wants to know, what he hell does he say when you asked him to start brushing his teeth twice a day? Did he brush them at the start of the relationship??

Wiredforsound · 01/03/2021 06:34

He sounds grim. I wouldn’t be anywhere near him. You’re saying he stinks, he hasn’t got a job, and he’s possibly coercing you into sex. He certainly wouldn’t be high on anyone’s list of Dream Men I Want to Shag and I can totally see why you’ve got the ick. If you want to stay with him you’ll need to talk to him.

Nnovember · 01/03/2021 06:36

Oh dear..I got stuck at not brushing his teeth for weeks. How is thay even possible. You deserve better OP

Thehop · 01/03/2021 06:39

He is vile. Throw him out 🤮

dontgobaconmyheart · 01/03/2021 06:47

I can't imagine it being possible to find anyone who doesn't brush their teeth for weeks sexually viable to be quite honest. Who will be paying for the massive dental bills of he isn't work?

You're not attracted to him OP, having and ensuring sex you don't want is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary. It also achieves absolutely nothing and is something you ensudure for nothing as the relationship has failed whether you do it or not, you are pretending for his ego's sake and to avoid dealing with the reality that it's over. Your body is worth far more than that.

How good a dad he is or isn't (he should be exampling basic hygiene to his kids and contributing financially as a bare minimum) isn't something that is more important than your own self worth and happiness.

Oysterbabe · 01/03/2021 06:50

I couldn't kiss someone who doesn't bursh their teeth. I think you need to talk to him about how off putting it is.

Worldwide2 · 01/03/2021 06:57

🤮 Not brushing teeth I just couldn't deal with that. Can't you tell him to brush more regularly,like every day.
That's completely thrown me, sorry.

Lockeddownagain · 01/03/2021 07:15

I actually gagged at the tooth brushing thing. That is disgusting

Kittykat93 · 01/03/2021 09:45

That's fucking disgusting. How can you still find him attractive? You must be able to smell his stinking breath from a mile off..absolutely grim. Maybe try upping your standards.

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/03/2021 09:49

So, I'm assuming he initiates. What does he say/do if you turn him down (you are allowed to do that, it's OK to not want to have sex)?

Have you actually said to him that you are struggling to enjoy sex because of the teeth brushing etc?

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 01/03/2021 09:53

Eeeew! Tell him to brush his teeth!

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