AIBU to ask you if she sounds like a typical 8 ear old.

[2021notgoingtoplan]

I’m preparing my middle DC to return to school.
A few things that was suggested to me what that we need to work on her being less passive. She also may benefit from maturing in terms of interests so she has things in common with her piers.

Now she has only just turned 8 she is a sweet kind natured girl. Would not say boo to a ghost and loves loves making friends but does struggle with speech / confidence.
She would do anything for her friends as such wanting to make 2 world book day costumes one for her friend as she knows she won’t have one.
Getting upset when Booked a suprise party for her because it was a place where ( was wasn’t aware of this because she had just started the school ) one of her friends wouldn’t be able to join in due to mobility.
She is girly, she isn’t very good at sport, she enjoys singing, dancing etc she does play computer games which she loves but for instance she wouldn’t play a game like I think it’s called piggy ? She says she doesn’t like it because it’s gross.
She watches Disney movies especially the animal based ones. She has recently just got in to watching high school musical and descendants. She still loves her dolls and soft toys mainly our generation, descendant dolls, schliech horses.
She mainly still watches tv programmes wise
Miraculous, go teen Titans, barbies dreamhouse and spirit however she will sit and watch Sofia the first and paw patrol still !
She liked wearing flowery dresses and sparkly shoes. She enjoys dressing up in costumes and still loves frozen especially Anna.
Is any of this sooo far behind a just turned 8 year old so much that she would stick out amongst other her peers
I’ve never really worried about it before until I was told.
Thank you.

She sounds like a perfectly normal 8 year old girl.

Aw - she sounds like a lovely, sweet, girly little girl. The kind of girl my two tomboy dd’s should’ve been
Honestly, you’re worrying over nothing.

Sounds completely normal. BTW, Piggy is a horrible game.

Dd almost nine is similar. My older dd, influenced by friends, had ‘older’ interests and I really wouldn’t encourage it. Let them be little. Being all about tik tok in y4 (and dd the only one not allowed it) has made for a nightmare year 6!!

My almost 8yo looooves Descendants, knows all the songs.

She watches Miraculous, My Little Pony, Sofia the first, DC superhero girls, teen titans, Frozen 2, the Incredibles, wreck-it Ralph...etc.

Loves dressing up, dolls, reading...

All sounds perfectly normal.

Sorry I will explain
Her being passive and needing to be more assertive and less passive was on her school report
The other half about interests was from a friend who has asked about how I make her less passive 😂
Sorry for the confusion.

She sounds like a lovely little girl and completely normal in her interests. I loathe the way that the endless march of technology has led to so many kids accessing so many age inappropriate games and systems, plus music videos, clothes manufacturers etc and so end up growing up too quickly.

DS is in early secondary and hates it as he says so many of the boys constantly talk about violence and porn. He finds it really frightening and it's hard to reassure him that actually, he is age appropriate and normal by not talking about it. I worry so much about what easy access to tech is doing to kids. Either way, I do think some parents are less happy than they admit, but think it's normal as everyone's kids seem to have access to so much tech.

Don't worry what other people think - she sounds absolutely fine. And my tween DS loves Teen Titans Go - actually so do I, as it's really funny!

Sounds like a normal kid. And by normal I mean, she has her own interests. Not every kid will like roblox, not all kids like the same stuff.
As I tell my kids, we all like different things.

This sounds perfect. My 8 year old DD is just like this - innocent and cute — long may it continue. I find some girls in my dd’s class are precocious and over mature.

Ah she sounds fine. My DD is 8 next week and wants to watch the my little pony movie for a family treat. She adores unicorns, dancing and pretty dresses. She’d like to play Roblox like her friends and older sibling but I’ve told her she’s not allowed as she’s too young. In fact, my 10 year old (year 6) will happily sit and play teddies with her too. All these things come on a spectrum and I did find it quite noticeable that after the first lockdown and school closures quite a few of the children came back a lot more ‘mature’- I put it down to spending more time with older siblings. At this age, maturity is all on a spectrum, they’ll all have slightly different tastes. I was a very ‘young’ child too. I still played with dolls until I was about 10.

Mkne has just turned 8. Felt like I was reading a description of her. All kids are different. But she sounds like a very sweet caring girl to me

My dad is 8. She plays with horses barbies and lols. She won't wear dresses though. Mainly jeans and a crop top or something from river island. She likes piggy. Last year she decided she hated pink even though if I buy her anything I used to get hers in pink abs her sisters in red.

Dd10 hasn't played with a doll in her life.!

dd lol

That sounds like my nine year old boy. He even finds Disney scary! Happily plays with his younger sibling and friends- sets up elaborate make believe games for them and joins in. Reads to his brother. Is very shy and sensitive. Not particularly good at sport. Not boisterous at all, and doesn't always understand social cues to do with friendship groups. He is the most passive child I know (and his sibling is an assertive little thing...!). But he's happy and well adjusted and kind, and doing well and is popular because he's so good natured. I'll take it for now.

Agree with most PPs, your DDs interests don’t seem out of the ordinary at all. Saying that, in answer to some comments it doesn’t necessarily have to be all or nothing, my Y4 DD likes playing online games like Roblox AND a lot of the things OP mentioned, as well as playing with dolls.

As do her circle of friends too

She sounds completely normal, is she in a dance school/theatre group as they may help with the social side.

She sounds lovely

@LemonRoses

Sounds fine. My daughter still likes watching Disney films, loves singing and dancing and Glee. She enjoys dressing up and loves flowery dresses and sparkly shoes. She makes Frozen biscuits and cupcakes quite regularly. She’s 28 and a GP.

This is one of the best posts I’ve read in a long time. Really made me smile x

Sounds fine. My daughter still likes watching Disney films, loves singing and dancing and Glee. She enjoys dressing up and loves flowery dresses and sparkly shoes. She makes Frozen biscuits and cupcakes quite regularly. She’s 28 and a GP.

This. I'm a 35 year old accountant and I LOVE playing lego with my 4 year old. I was so happy he wanted it for Christmas, it's like a present for me too. We take turns using the coloured transparent blocks as we both think they look cool.

I also love gold shoes and own 5 pairs including gold trainers, love my cookie cutter collection.

Your daughter sounds lovely OP.

@LemonRoses Your post made me smile.

OP I was a very passive quiet child. I played with my toy horses and soft toy animals until I was at least 12/13.I had absolutely no interest in giggling at boys until I was a late teen and must have seemed quite behind my peers.

I'm now 38 and married with two lovely children, a house full of pets and shelves full of collectable tat that me and husband share. I also have a rainbow doormat and I love a glittery dress. I still meet friends from school monthly for dinner and drinks (not for months now sob!) I'm very happy. I remember being happy as a child.

Your daughter sounds like a lovely little girl.

She sounds absolutely fine, possibly a little more sensitive and thoughtful than some! But that is nothing to be concerned about.

She sounds lovely and completely normal to me. My 8 year old ds isn't allowed on piggy as it's a horrible game in my opinion.
Please don't push her to be more mature and streetwise if that's not who she is.

I would ask the teacher if anything is going on that has given cause to highlight your DD as passive. Could there have been instances where, for example, another kid has taken something from her and she hasn't tried to stop them/told the teacher? That sort of thing. Being gentle and passive isn't a bad thing in itself but if it leads to being taken advantage of then it needs addressed.