Family members that irk the F**k out of you

[FuckingFabulous]

What would you say to them if you could muster up the balls? Or what DID you say to them, so I can marvel at your shining moment!

We've all got very varied families and the tolerances and limits of what we will and will not put up with are all over the place. On another thread (this is not a TAAT) which featured my auntie Pam(demic), I was surprised at how many people found sheer nasty bastardry acceptable.

And now I'm interested. In my family I have:

Auntie Pam- told her she was a cunt. Deservedly so. I've got nothing to add when it comes to her!

My Dad- would love to tell him that we all know he's a freeloading bastard, he always has been, and he's always looking for someone to rescue him instead of standing on his own two feet. He was a shit father to us and that he is lucky any of us talk to him. And that he's a rubbish grandparent. But I don't, because I think I'm still afraid of the fallout. He really can be nasty.

My mum- I think I'd just like to give her a shake and tell her to give a damn about something that's not all about her for a change. And that buying excessive gifts at birthdays for her grandchildren is no substitute for actually being a present and interested grandparent. But I don't. She'd be "so hurt" to everyone and it would drag on for years. I've seen it with another relative.

Whose behaviour are you merely tolerating?

I told my MIL what a horrible old fucker (exact words) she was after she reduced DH to tears by just constantly belittling him and his life choices, the fact that he went to Uni and has a very good job apparently makes him a snob and stuck up?

So I gave it her, both barrels.

Our relationship was strained after that as you can imagine, but I agreed to at least be civil for DH.

Things have got better over the years, she’s mellowed with age, but I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her again if she was out of order.

My sister..... who chose not to see any of us anymore because when I had children & my parents first grandchildren, she didn't get any attention anymore supposedly. My kids have only met her twice. She's in her 50s! Don't think I'll ever see her again tbh.
My dad.... Sits on a fortune whilst seeing his family struggle for money. Thinks he knows absolutely everything and won't be told otherwise. Extremely interfering and won't let me live my own life and make my own choices such as a car purchase. Also very very argumentative and depressing to be around.
My in laws.... Very nice people but remain very distant from us and we don't know why. They never ring us or come to see us. Again, we gave them their first grandchildren which they show no interest in. But now their daughter has had a child they are all over that one. I feel very upset on my kids behalf

Well don't you sound lovely

Sounds like your the kind of family member this thread is about 😂

Bit of an odd conclusion, considering the thread overwhelmingly feature people complaining about interfering relatives and unwanted opinions, and I'm expressing a desire to be left in peace.

I shouted told MIL exactly what I thought of her once. Was sick to death of being treated like the poor, little commoner in the family, and being totally excluded, yet still nitpicked. We didn't speak for months afterwards, until she finally pulled her head out of her arse and saw the errors of her ways. We're pretty solid now

I have loads of things that I would love to say to my sister, my mother and my grandparents. But they are so entrenched in their views that they would never listen to me.

Still I don't really see them. Only started again after I had DD so she could know my family but am watching the fuckers like a hawk. Any attempt to treat her like they treated me and thats us gone!

Erm.

I'm sure this will go well for you when someone does the same to you.

Why waste your energy

@flobberdobberrr

Erm.

I'm sure this will go well for you when someone does the same to you.

Why waste your energy

If someone wants to rant about me, they can go right ahead. They can tell me to my face if they have a problem with me if they want to, and unlike my (and most of these) relatives, I'll listen and try to understand what has upset them.

If I have a second glass of wine with dinner out my BIL loudly calls me an alcoholic every time
My BIL is so morbidly obese that he can’t walk 5 steps without sweating and back pain. Can I say anything about that? Oh noooooo

@LGY1

If I have a second glass of wine with dinner out my BIL loudly calls me an alcoholic every time My BIL is so morbidly obese that he can’t walk 5 steps without sweating and back pain. Can I say anything about that? Oh noooooo

Erm, yes?!! Look him in the eye, and say "my alcohol consumption damages my liver far less than your food consumption damages any part of your body" I've been that fat, and I shut the fuck up about people's unhealthy habits because I didn't ever want to be confronted about my weight.

What's the term? Those in glass houses?

My brothers who always "know best". When I disagreed with one of them regarding something that was my job, I was told I knew nothing, was wrong and had no idea I had done that job.

The both of them are bullies, and wouldnt let their kids treat each other the way they have always treated me.

That my mother puts them both on a pedastal whilst muggins here has to do everything for her. To the point she spent ages telling someone about her two sons, that they asked me how I knew her and I had to point out I was the forgotton daughter! That she rings me to ask for favours but wont ring them as they are busy with work, despite the fact I also work.

I spend a lot of time biting my tongue around in laws.

SIL (who I actually get on very well with most of the time) drives me mad because she always bangs on about how we don't see each other/speak enough etc etc but I've checked our WhatsApp threads and know that I ALWAYS initiate conversations, suggest meeting up etc. The only time she initiates contact is when she wants something. I have had to leave the room a couple of times in the past but am dreading the post-lockdown conversation about this again because it's been exacerbated in lockdown and I am worried I won't be able to bite my tongue.

As for BIL.... well, let's just say I haven't seen him in 6 years and just really hope I don't see him for another 6 because I am fairly certain that I would be unable to keep my mouth shut. He is a horrible, selfish, lazy individual and even just talking to MIL/FIL/SIL about him is challenging because they see it, but excuse it.

I'd say to my SILs: Let's all just be honest and admit that we have nothing in common and do not enjoy spending time together. We can just see each other at family gatherings and be polite, instead of having to do this whole charade of spending weekends together several times a year.

Also I would say to my mum: Please stop giving childcare advice. They haven't asked for it and you seem to be the only one who hasn't noticed the tension when you do.

We have a family WhatsApp group and she's constantly doling out childcare advice (often from the 80s) to my sister and BIL. It's not asked for and it's often outdated/obvious or inappropriate. 🙈

Dear BIL. If your collar & cuffs are matching I'll show my bare bum in Tesco. Just let it go grey because you really have nothing to be vain about you sad twat.

Yep. My dad is a typical old racist, posts on Facebook about foreigners, BNP hailing Yorkshire man, financially abusive but unemployed while spending my mums wages, power hungry, man of the house, don't question my authority wife! type of grade A cunt.
He's an embarrassment.

Won't waste my breath telling him that tho, he said il regret not speaking to him when he dies. I won't. My brother and mother came to the same conclusion as i did. Just my sister left speaking to him.

My SIL, who we are low contact with. She wants no relationship with us or our children, yet gets offended if she doesn't get cards and presents from us. She won't lift a finger to help my lovely MIL, expects DH to do it all even though she is retired and he is still working.

Mardy cow, she is.

@Squirrelblanket

I'd say to my SILs: Let's all just be honest and admit that we have nothing in common and do not enjoy spending time together. We can just see each other at family gatherings and be polite, instead of having to do this whole charade of spending weekends together several times a year.

Yesssssssss this is what I want to say to my sister.

Sister

Manipulative, cold, pathological liar, relentlessly self interested, billy bullshit poseur, of the highest order. I would love certain people to contact me and find out the truths behind her blatant lies.

Father in law who tells me his intimate medical complaints

Mother in law who likes to imply I'm isolated and antisocial

Older sister - unemployed, living with parents, waiting for everyone to save her when she actually really enjoys getting up at 1pm and causing arguments until sunset - she's nearly 50 btw

Brother - who likes to tell me how to do something that is unique to me and that I am doing well in. How I should be doing it better etc

School run parents - stop the outlandish loud displays of performance parenting. Just stop.

Mother - just shake it up, lose the grey hair you because have a young beautiful face and a vibrant outlook which you are hiding because you get more attention by acting poor me all the time. Just do what you want! Enjoy each day! Stop acting!

I think that's plenty...

I told my mum exactly what I thought about her on a couple of occasions. She was a nasty, spiteful 2 faced cow who treated me appallingly. Unfortunately 2 of my siblings took after her so they got told the same and I've never spoken to them again.

My aunty was also a 2 faced cow, money grabbing cow and I told her exactly what everyone else was also saying about her. Never spoken to her again either.

DM - Communication works both ways, you can't just pretend me and my kids don't exist unless we're within your sight and then expect us to be close. She might also want to consider why she has no relationship with 2 of her 3 children. AND STOP SCAMMING PEOPLE you miserable bitch. Took out a catalog in my name when I was 17 and now has £2k of debt in my elderly and very ill Nans name.

MIL - you drove away your daughter, you drove away your sisters, you're not perfect, you're a nasty old cow who has spent her life manipulating the people around her. You may have cared for your Dad until he died but I will never forget you telling me how when he died you'd be so much better off because of his money. You can deny it but you said it more than once. Also when we stopped talking it was because I told DH to stop calling you and see if you got in contact - you didn't for over a year until DH called you. Then you blamed me. Go fuck yourself.

God that was good to say.

Mother-you are a narcissistic nasty old bitch
The only difference between you and rose west is you’ve not killed anyone

Dad-you have 4 kids not 3
I still exist no matter how you try to airbrush me out
Your my mothers flea and it makes me sick

Brother 1-your a fat judgemental twat who’s brat is going to lose you early if you don’t lose weight
If I did half to your kid that you did to mine then I’d be in prison-showing hardcore porn to a 9 year old wasn’t funny

Sister in law-having kids where so easy when you didn’t have any
Your kid has a chav name-it’s not cute or fashionable-it’s shite

Brother2-your not special
Your not brilliant
Your not Jesus,merlin or Robin Hood in a past life
Your just a twat

Brother3-oh fuck off you ego driven arsehole
It must be so draining to live your life by buying all those designer labels and not having the money to pay for it

The rest of the family-stop licking my mothers arse
I know your her flying monkeys-it’s a sad life stalking me on sm

Ah that feels better

To my sister:

Stop "kicking off" or threatening to sue every time something doesn't go your way. So you had a shit experience in Asda, or your neighbour has her daughter and grandfather round, or there's a pothole you didn't see - deal with it. Kicking off, ranting on social media and threatening to take legal action is just plain embarrassing. You're 41. Grow up

My SIL. She acts charming then takes on the job of being the village gossip. Very nasty, makes things up. She prob thinks we don’t visit or keep in touch due to me but tbh DH and I didn’t realise how bad she was till we moved fairly close to her and her DH. She’s not very bright but thinks she is.

My Sister: You are a life long liar and emotionally defective. You are not the brightness, when you sneer and put people down it is not funny, it was meant and it's plain mean. You would do not do anything for family, as you really do nothing. All your money doesn't give you class.

And ffs stop telling people I'm an alcoholic hippy in a dead end job..apparently this is why she doesn't see me...as I'm after her money....ffs I'm a successful business woman in my own right, I've made good money and have a good life. I have never once in my life borrowed or even asked, or taken money from you. You jealous fucked up disney stepford wife.

And seriously don't do the every few years moan that no one calls to you, or appreciates you to our DPs, why they think the sun shines out of your arse I do not know.

I'm not playing that game, and haven't for over 10 years. As I've said to them, it's your choice, you can't say you don't want to know for years and then moan that the very people you kicked to the kerb repeatedly don't want to see you!

Ooooh that felt rather good. I'll never do it though. I'll avoid like the plague, stiff hello at weddings etc, and make sure the DCs dodge her cruel witterings. Yes I have seen her make people cry at weddings.