To be annoyed at companies doing the Mother's Day opt out emails?

[stayingaliveisawayoflife]

So far I have had 13 of these in two weeks. If I was grieving the almost daily reminders could be too much. Also I received one today from Chilly's bottles that had an opt out button with a shop now button underneath! I just feel that this is being used for marketing purposes under a cloud of 'look how much we care' and it is spreading. Just wish it could be stopped.

Just FYI I think I can see your name in the screen shot - you might want to get that amended?

I don't really get the opt out because it's sensitive. Surely every holiday is triggering for lots of people? It's a bit of a marketing ploy.

I have just reported it can I do anything else? It's not actually my current name but I need it removed!

It stops people from unsubscribing from the whole list.

It helped me back when it was a painful reminder that I’d never had a mum that I’d buy cards for. It’s fine now that I’ve healed and have MiL to think about anyway.

If it helps some people, it’s worth doing, I think. You can always delete/unsubscribe if you want to. You might be grateful for the option one year, although I hope it’s not anytime soon.

Some people find it helpful and that’s enough for me.

I think it's already gone, OP.

It's tricky. I'd say the issue is the volume of marketing we have to opt out of. Opting out this year will save grief in future years.

Can you really not imagine that some people find it helpful? And if they do, and it doesn't hurt you, why are you getting het up about it?

There have been a few threads about this in the last couple of weeks.

The saddest posts were from those whose DC had died.

It really shouldn't be difficult to work out why companies have finally tumbled to the need to stop treating customers as a homogenous lump.

I think it's a great idea. I worked with someone about 15/16 years ago who would get really upset at Father's Day emails because her dad was dead so I'm just surprised no one thought of doing it earlier

I (think I) agree! I have only received one of these but I think it definitely had the opposite effect to what they were saying they wanted to achieve.
It raised emotions it needn’t have for want of a better explanation.

I started to wonder why they sent it to me. Did they know I’d lost my DM somehow?

It’s weird though because I do remember being affected by stuff like this, particularly in the first year after my DM passed. She was young and I, in my grief would be angry that they would assume my DM was alive etc.

I’m now at a stage where I can see advertising for what it really is (I’m a mother myself) so I just ignore anything ‘not applicable’ to me.

I believe it’s just something we hope to come to terms with and understand that many others appreciate ideas for what to buy for special occasions.

Yes, I find them more intrusive than the generic mother's Day emails that I always just delete without opening anyway. My mum was quite anti consumerism though, so it was never that big a deal to us when she was alive.

On the other hand, reading previous threads on this topic, other people do find them very helpful, particularly if they've lost a child.

Not at all. As someone who is childless, I find it helpful to be able opt out of endless emails which only bring painful reminders of that fact

If these companies make it easy enough to unsubscribe, I don’t think they’re doing anything wrong.

Literally anything can be a trigger for people for valid reasons, there are always people somewhere struggling with the loss of a parent, wife, husband, child. I’ve been in the position where normal, everyday things hurt, and I know it’s hard to deal with, but it would be impossible for companies to function if they weren’t allowed to advertise anything that might might invoke a negative emotion for a few people.

I am supportive of this opt out, perhaps wishing it was a wider request to include other occasions that might be painful reminders or just something not celebrated (Valentines day, Father's Day for example).

I’m surprised they don’t offer the same for Christmas, Easter and so on. How easy would it be to allow someone to opt out of Christmas but into lists for Diwali, Passover, etc.

I find it helpful to have the option. My DS2 died in November, this should be my first mothers day with my two boys. I imagine if I didn't have my DS1 then I would be finding mother's day much, much harder. It's hard enough as it is navigating my grief.

They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.
to all those suffering.

@peak2021

I am supportive of this opt out, perhaps wishing it was a wider request to include other occasions that might be painful reminders or just something not celebrated (Valentines day, Father's Day for example).

I'm anticipating it being a 'thing' in the run up to Father's Day too

I wonder if a more generic email at a non-important time of year would be better? One that lets people opt out of different categories at once, rather than sending one in the run up to Mother's Day, about Mother's Day, which is then a reminder of Mother's Day.

@Niconacotaco

I wonder if a more generic email at a non-important time of year would be better? One that lets people opt out of different categories at once, rather than sending one in the run up to Mother's Day, about Mother's Day, which is then a reminder of Mother's Day.

This is exactly what DH and I were just saying, after another barrage of them this morning. If it's about being kind, this is exactly what companies should do.

@peak2021

I am supportive of this opt out, perhaps wishing it was a wider request to include other occasions that might be painful reminders or just something not celebrated (Valentines day, Father's Day for example).

It was definitely a thing for Father's Day last year as I remember opting out on several. I'm curious to find out whether the opt out was just for a year or if it will stop emails this year too.

Can you really not imagine that some people find it helpful? And if they do, and it doesn't hurt you, why are you getting het up about it?

I don't see how. It's "Oh you know that day that might bother you, well here's 27 emails reminding you specifically about it, trying to sell to you, but pretending we're being sensitive and not reminding you about the thing. Even though we are"

I think it’s a good thing. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent or child so if it stops getting further promotions about the day and gifts, why not?

I think it’s a good thing. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent or child so if it stops getting further promotions about the day and gifts, why not?

As someone who doesn't have to imagine either of things, because of my point above and OP's point.

How do you think its helpful to specifically email people to remind them of something they want to forget? I can tune out the Mothers day adverts by fast forwarding on Sky, they fade into the background in the shop....but to get 20 emails specifically to me with "hey, its Mothers Day, did you forget? Well if it might upset you to be reminded, click here!". Too fucking late, you just reminded me!!

I think it’s quite cynical tbh: it makes them look progressive and caring but doesn’t allow you to properly unsubscribe. Look at us, we are so sensitive to your needs we are even prepared to suspend the relentless barrage of marketing.

I also think it’s self defeating: if Mothers Day is triggering you will be just as triggered by a reminder drawing your attention to the potential for unsubscribing as you will to one reminding you to buy flowers.

Also why is it only Mothers Day?