To ask dd2 to swap rooms?

[bendmeoverbackwards]

I have 3 dds aged 19, 18 and 14. We have an issue with bedrooms.

We have a spacious house with 5 bedrooms, 3 good size bedrooms and 2 much smaller ones.

Dd1 has bedroom 2. Dd2 was in one of the small bedrooms until about 3 years ago when we did up the loft room and moved her up there. She loves it.

Dd3 has started to complain about her small bedroom, much smaller than her sisters. The other issue is that she is ASD and has very sensitive hearing, her bedroom is over the kitchen and she can hear everything.

Dd1 is at uni in our home town so will be home for a while. Dd2 is hopefully going away to uni this year.

I’m thinking of swapping the rooms over then. She’s very reasonable and can see the sense in it. I just want to be as fair as possible to all of them.

The other option is to extend dd3’s room by taking space from the bathroom and our en-suite. Dh thinks a bigger bedroom will add value to the house in the long term.

I would feel a bit bad asking dd2 to give up her room as going away to uni isn’t properly leaving home.

Why would you move dd1 into a small room when she’s already at uni in your home town and likely to stay with you for a few years with need for study space? Dd2 is going to uni elsewhere and needs a bedroom in your home so she has her own space when she visits you or comes home for holidays etc. It can be a smaller room as she won’t be studying and isn’t living there full time. Dd3 also needs study space for school work and has other needs that necessitate a larger room. So you have 3 daughters and two that actually would benefit from larger rooms so give those to them. DD2 will understand and still has a private space in your home which is main thing

I’d actually probably move dd1 to the loft so she’s given some privacy on separate floor and give dd3 dd1 large bedroom and dd3 whichever of the smaller rooms she chooses abs decorate for her. I’d likely do this sooner rather than later so everyone is use to their rooms prior to dd2 leaving for uni.

Sorry that is of course dd2 the smaller room not dd3

Do you have a downstairs room that could be converted into a bedroom for your dd? An office or separate dining room? Or even if you had an integral garage, then part of it that could be sectioned off and turned into a room? It's only that it sounds like your 5 bedrooms are upstairs (I could be wrong!), so presumably the downstairs footprint is quite big?

It would be an interesting experience here to get DS1 , almost 21, to give up his loft room. He’s been here as much this past year as at uni. And most of them don’t move out fully- still has GP, dentist and optician here. Not an issue for us as DS2 room is a decent size and in any case we’d rather DS1 and late night gaming were up on a different floor. If we move, though, he won’t be having the bigger of the two rooms. Hopefully he’ll be in his own place by then

Could you give the daughter who ends up with the smallest room the 5th bedroom too? I know they are separated by stairs but maybe if it was a study room or if a small sofa fitted or a walk-in closet. Whatever they felt would make a difference to them? that way they might feel like they have got space it's just organized a little differently than the others.