AIBU to wonder WTF has happened to nursing “care” in our NHS?

[AnnieGetYourPun]

And don’t tell me it’s all Covid/staff shortages/staff illness related.

My niece was eventually admitted to hospital after being sent home twice from A&E (in agony) and is now on a gynae ward. It’s just her and an elderly lady on the ward. The elderly lady was getting agitated as she needed the toilet. The nurse came and said, and I quote “it’s alright, use your pad and we’ll come and sort you out later”. This has really upset my niece who’s dodging sepsis now, on the ward, on massive IV antibiotics/anti-emetics and IV analgesia. She has narrowly avoided a ruptured uterus as there was no one to do a scan on her, after a 12 hr wait in A&E. She is 32.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Fry me on here. I’m past fucking caring.

Should add. I trained in the NHS. Was a student/junior staff nurse/senior staff nurse/junior sister and G grade senior sister before retirement. Never, in my f***g life have I seen such lack of basic care and maintenance of human dignity than I have witnessed in NHS hospitals, in the past two years.

Shove your clapping and rainbows.

I'm sure it's patchy like everything in life but the other day I had a hysteroscopy done and I kid you not I nearly cried with gratitude at the efficiency and kindness of the gynae and his team of nurses. They were bloody brilliant. I fed back to the hospital through their feedback channels and I although I told the nurses at the time I do hope they get an official thanks.

I’ve had multiple admissions to gynae and antenatal wards when pregnant. The nurses, midwives and support workers have all been lovely. The sonographers less so!

I trained as a nurse (degree route) years ago and I don’t think it’s anything to do with universities or not. I’m no longer registered.

Most countries have degrees for nurses now and all other HCPs (physios, occupational therapists, radiographers etc) have degrees. Why not nurses?

I think most people don’t really understand what nurses do these days and that’s why they don’t understand why a a degree is universally decided as essential in most countries, it’s also why some people don’t like seeing nurses behind computers instead of making beds etc. I also think a lot of people complaining about nursing care have absolutely no idea what pressure most nurses are under and wouldn’t survive a single shift as a nurse these days.

YANBU. And I say this as DH left treatment early last night because the nurses decided to have a pizza night and proceeded to sit in the middle of the treatment area eating and gossiping. DH ended therapy early as the smell was making him nauseous. We’ve complained so much about the attitude, bullying and lack of professionalism it’s unreal. We’re seriously considering moving house to try another trust. And this from two ex NHS staff who left because of bullying, lack of professionalism and over work. That all said, without the NHS DH would be dead.

Rightfully, there will be nurses replying to this post who are excellent and have personal standards which, they try endlessly each and every shift, to provide the very best care they can. However, there are many who do not give a damn. I have witnessed them. Experienced them personally first hand.

When my mum was dying, the care was abysmal. My family were not the only complainants. The ward was filthy. The hygiene and dignity of patients was not maintained. My mum died pre-Covid. Nurses were not rushed off their feet. It got to the stage where the family were feeding/washing my mum as we’d visit in the afternoon and she’d still be in the same clothes she’d worn the day before and was staring hungry. “She’s refusing food” we were told. Not so. She ate everything we put in front of her. Even on the day she died.

I’m not sorry if I offend. Many many posters on here agree with me and have added takes of poor care bordering on neglect. It’s happening. I’m calling it out.

It would take me a very long time to list the poor care that my OH suffered in hospital.

Whilst awaiting surgery he was left to dehydrate as the time kept getting put back - in the end he did not have his op till the next day. I kept asking that someone put a drip up and was told that this would be done in theatre - unbelievable. I spoke to the consultant - I knew her - and she was furious about this; quite rightly so. By the time he got to surgery he was in a dreadful state. He never recovered - he became delirious and this never stopped - it took a year of utter misery for us all for him to die.

The dehydration was just one example of the neglect. My DDs and I made sure one of us was there all the time so feed him, as they would just leave the food near him and were oblivious to the fact that he could not reach it nor get it into his mouth.

He would be left sitting on a bedpan, writhing in pain, and no-one would deal with it - it was utterly heartbreaking. If I could have got him off by myself I would have done. It makes me want to weep even now to think about it. So much unnecessary suffering.

I had rubbish care both times I had a baby, appreciate this is midwives rather than nurses but if I could afford it I would never use the NHS again. I blame the system rather than individual employees, many of whom work extremely hard, but on the whole it's crap, I don't know why everyone is so precious about it.

This is not "nurse bashing" - this is simply saying what happened. I am not apportioning blame - but something is seriously wrong.

What stuck in my craw was the ridiculous window dressing on the ward notice board: "I am your friendly ward sister"; "we are dedicated to excellent care"; "we are committed to treating everyone equally and with respect"; and so on and so on.............load of bollocks! I don't wnt stuff on notice boards, I just wanted my poor OH to be properly cared for.

I hope your daughter re overs quickly.

But honestly, you just sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder about the way that nurses are expected to train and qualify now... something which is not their fault.

@AnnieGetYourPun

Rightfully, there will be nurses replying to this post who are excellent and have personal standards which, they try endlessly each and every shift, to provide the very best care they can. However, there are many who do not give a damn. I have witnessed them. Experienced them personally first hand.

When my mum was dying, the care was abysmal. My family were not the only complainants. The ward was filthy. The hygiene and dignity of patients was not maintained. My mum died pre-Covid. Nurses were not rushed off their feet. It got to the stage where the family were feeding/washing my mum as we’d visit in the afternoon and she’d still be in the same clothes she’d worn the day before and was staring hungry. “She’s refusing food” we were told. Not so. She ate everything we put in front of her. Even on the day she died.

I’m not sorry if I offend. Many many posters on here agree with me and have added takes of poor care bordering on neglect. It’s happening. I’m calling it out.

I also think there is a systemic issue with the elderly and end of life patients who are very quickly written off. My mother was so poorly treated in hospital and was going downhill so fast we took her out, against their advice and were told she would die imminently. The care was so poor (left on the toilet for over an hour and then shouted at for going back to bed by herself, repeatedly almost given penicillin, despite being allergic to it (thank god she was with it enough to catch them and it was pre covid so we were able to be there as well) and generally written off (we were told some of her symptoms were because of her age, rather than an illness, turned out to be a chest infection) we were sure she would have died if we left her there. She lived 14 more months and the majority of our complaints were upheld by the hospital investigation.

My dh was a surgical patient in my old hospital, we went private in the NHS as the money got ploughed back into the Trust but two nurses were absolutely vile, gossipy, not in the slightest bit helpful or caring and yes they did sit on the computer looking for holidays and clothes. They only had 3 patients to look after but moaned about everything, having to serve the meals, making jokes about it being like a hotel, telling DH that he cant be in pain, as most patients only need paracetamol for discharging home but how they know that is baffling, they couldn't even bother checking his wound, they were horrible and an embarrassment to our profession.

I was told by a nurse during a colonoscopy under sedation to shut the fuck up when I was crying in pain. Apparently I wouldn’t remember her saying it because of the drugs but I certainly do!

Same hospital dropped a grandparent meaning a short stay for a minor op resulted in a 16 week stay and she will never be independently mobile again.

Same hospital didn’t bother feeding another grandparent for nearly a week. She should have been on meal replacement drinks but they never materialised. They simply took her uneaten food away and didn’t question it.

I once took a patient into a&e with a newly broken neck (I'm a paramedic) and paralysed from the neck down.

One of the degree educated nurses stayed on 4 hours after her shift finished in order to have someone sitting one-to-one with the man to calm him down every time he went into a panic attack.... The uncaring b*tch!!!!

I don’t have a chip on my shoulder. I’ve had my nursing career. I’ve whistleblown where I’ve seen poor care to the detriment of my own health.

I wasn’t perfect. I did the best I could with the resources to hand. But where I saw neglect. Lack of care. Lack of dignity and compassion, I called it. I won’t feel badly about that.

This thread is shocking. My daughter is a very senior nurse, she will drop everything to sit and hold the hand and talk to a dying patient and will not leave them until they have passed.

@AnnieGetYourPun

I don’t have a chip on my shoulder. I’ve had my nursing career. I’ve whistleblown where I’ve seen poor care to the detriment of my own health.

I wasn’t perfect. I did the best I could with the resources to hand. But where I saw neglect. Lack of care. Lack of dignity and compassion, I called it. I won’t feel badly about that.

So you acknowledge that poor care isn't systemic yet start a thread labelling all degree educated nurses uncaring based on anecdotal evidence.

There are more caring nurses than awful ones. However, some wards are chronically understaffed, usually care of the elderly (used to be known as geriatrics) and post-natal. On those wards in my experience it's perfectly normal to be left hours without pain relief, or access to a commode, or even water to drink.

I'm grateful for my own experience but dome of these are awful.

Are you sure it was a nurse OP? It's normally some kind of auxiliary or healthcare assistant that would do the basics like toilet trips and feeding. Not that that would excuse the poor care. When my partner was in hospital on a ward of 6 men, all bedbound, the HCAs would only empty the cardboard urine containers twice a day. There were open pots of wee everywhere. My partner's mum (who is a retired nurse) knocked one over by accident. Grim. There was also a blood stained bandage under one of the other beds that was there for the whole time my partner was in - at least 3 days. That place was grim and filthy. Not the nurses' fault probably..more down to bad management.
I have also had many excellent experiences of hospitals and there are many excellent nurses. But if the management is poor and nurses are stressed and overworked, good staff become demoralised and mediocre staff become disastrous

Thank you to those brave enough to speak out.

We’ve made heroes of every NHS worker. It’s ridiculous. It seems we cannot complain/make unfavourable comments for fear of media attack. It’s bullshit. And one day, you might be the old lady on the ward who is demeaned into wetting herself whilst the nurses chat at the desk about what they’ve ordered on Amazon.

It. Is. Happening.

Some lovely accounts of caring people on here but so many of lack of care.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Oh fuck off.

Stop tarring all nurses with the same brush.

Our local hospital is going to have a shitstorm rained down on it with the issues my mums had in her admissions since October.

Some wards were great, prompt treatment, good care. But our experience of the whole elderly care department is of a total lack of care, compassion, sleep deprivation, left in a wet bed all night, shocking standards of nursing care, wounds left to go septic, a miriad of necrosing bedsores. I could go on.

What upsets my mum most though is that she had us, ringing up every day, asking whats happening and why haven't they done this or that when so many other patients don't have that , who is looking out for them??

My Ddad had several periods on in patient care in hospital between 2014 and 2019 when he died. There were a few (out of very many) nurses that were abrupt or didnt appear to have a great bedside manner but the majority looked after him exceptionally well.
He also had carers at home. Some lied on the chart what time they were there and didnt do very much (we know because we were actually with him after he had collapsed on the floor..at a time they claimed to be there) but again the vast majority of carers treated him with the upmost kindness and care, so it would be wrong of me to make an assumption based on the bad experience. Seeing how he was looked after in a care home made me really appreciate the enormous responsibility carers have for really shit pay.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

We HAVE to call out poor care. Your comment tells me you might be someone happy to sit in her own excrement whilst eating her supper. You’re happy with that... good for you. I wouldn’t be.