AIBU to wonder WTF has happened to nursing “care” in our NHS?

[AnnieGetYourPun]

And don’t tell me it’s all Covid/staff shortages/staff illness related.

My niece was eventually admitted to hospital after being sent home twice from A&E (in agony) and is now on a gynae ward. It’s just her and an elderly lady on the ward. The elderly lady was getting agitated as she needed the toilet. The nurse came and said, and I quote “it’s alright, use your pad and we’ll come and sort you out later”. This has really upset my niece who’s dodging sepsis now, on the ward, on massive IV antibiotics/anti-emetics and IV analgesia. She has narrowly avoided a ruptured uterus as there was no one to do a scan on her, after a 12 hr wait in A&E. She is 32.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Fry me on here. I’m past fucking caring.

Should add. I trained in the NHS. Was a student/junior staff nurse/senior staff nurse/junior sister and G grade senior sister before retirement. Never, in my f***g life have I seen such lack of basic care and maintenance of human dignity than I have witnessed in NHS hospitals, in the past two years.

Shove your clapping and rainbows.

The 'care' my father and in laws have received in our local hospital over the last few years have resulted in me:

A) drastically improving my diet and exercise regime in order to stay absolutely as well as possible, and

B) taking out private health insurance

I'm afraid that in this particular hospital the care aspect has varied from indifferent, verging at times on negligent.

I left the NHS because I didn't like the decisions I had to make which compromised patient care. Most nurses do care, but the circumstances they have to work under can make even the most compassionate individual have to compromise their standards.
You know nothing of the background of that patient, as a PP has said above.
And that nurse sitting by the computer? Perhaps she's waiting for a doctor to call her back about a deteriorating patient that she is worried about?
I've been shouted at by a relative for daring to take a drink from my water bottle 8 hours into my shift.
Yes there are bad nurses, but the good ones find it very hard to do their jobs with the resources they've got.

There are good and bad people in every profession. I work in healthcare. Although anecdotally, some of the most horrible people I know are nurses.

Over the last few years a family member has had multiple in patient admissions. That family member is completely bed bound, with no speech or movement. We have, on several occasions, had to remove them from hospital for their own safety as the 'care' from the nursing staff has been so poor. This was pre-covid. During covid, the family member was admitted for non covid reasons and received no care at all - no washing, meds abandoned, left in dirty pads, came home with sores. Another family member was able to visit because of the nature of the needs, during hour long visits there were no staff on the wards. My family member has repeatedly been failed by nursing staff and I am rather fed up with having them considered 'heroes'. Many people are doing tough jobs in tough times.

@Kazziek I really hope you put a complaint in about this.

Nursing is like every other profession. Theres good & bad. You can't slate an entire profession because of your experience of one or 2

I've had a few hospital stays in the past couple of years and the nurses on all the wards I was in were lovely.

[quote Xx1234xx]@Kazziek I really hope you put a complaint in about this.[/quote]
Many times. It makes absolutely no difference.

I've witnessed both excellent, caring nurses and appalling nurses I wouldn't let care for my dog, never mind a loved one.

I had to stand and stare at a midwife while she did paperwork when I told her my dsis was in distress in early labour and babys heart rate monitor was going through the roof. She dismissed me at first as I wasn't a nurse or a midwife and had been watching too much Casualty. She eventually agreed to come and look and told me she was 'this close' to sending dsis home as she didn't have time for this. Saw the monitors and pressed the crash button, nephew born by emergency section within the hour, dsis haemorrhaged and was very ill for a while.

Dd as a 2 year old in hospital after a febrile seizure the day before, kept in for observation. Asked for a temp check and calpol as could see she was going a funny colour and tone of voice changed. Told to wait cos busy doing paperwork. Went back 10 mins later, said I would do thermometer and calpol myself, she needed it. Dismissed again. Mil was on her way, nurse heard me ask mil to buy calpol and thermometer from boots on her way up. Told I couldn't administer my own meds and she didn't need it anyway. Asked again for her to do dds temp as she was burning hot by now, temp was 40.1. Paediatric registrar paged, prepped for lumber puncture, asked for her to have an hour for calpol to kick in as this was normal for dd. And that if they did a lumbar puncture that could have been prevented by temp checks and calpol I would hold that nurse personally and professionally responsible. Temp started coming down after 40 mins thank god. Paediatrician said 'mum knows best, calpol every 4 hours, ibu every 8'.

But also dh was in hdu for 1 week and a general ward for a week and the care and compassion he received still makes me proud of the NHS.

Last October I had to collect my son from a pe lesson and take him straight to a&e. He had the symptoms of a testicular torsion. We arrived at 1.00pm and by 3.20pm he was on the operating table.

In the middle of a pandemic and a local.lockdown, I stood in complete awe of the nhs and what they did for his emergency. Absolutely exemplary care.

I'm sorry for everyone who has experienced bad care and just wanted to share my own.

This attitude from "old school" nurses is rife. They look down on the newer cohorts who are degree educated, as though intelligence and academia somehow detracts from compassion and caring. Your daughter's poor experience is not reflective of the thousands of nurses across the country.
Nurses really do eat their young.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Source data?

Like doctors, some nurses are horrible but many are wonderful and caring.
I worked in a hospital as a “nurse’s aide” (not the UK).
I had to lift and clean a retired teacher who was the most lovely woman when she’d had diahorrea and shower her alone. She was mortified. I couldn’t tell her often enough I didn’t mind etc.
The nurses on that ward were hideous.
They left me to wash an elderly man’s genitals,
They collected a patient’s flowers who’d been discharged and shared them out with each other while laughing about said patient’s dress sense.
They refused to ask a doctor to get help for a woman who was screaming in pain (I did it, I couldn’t listen to her agony).
And I’ve been an in-patient after laparoscopic surgery to cut adhesions (post c-section where my DD died and I almost did) where the nurse curled her nose at me because I couldn’t lower myself onto a commode without shaking.

It’s offensive OP to refer to the requirement to have a degree etc.

But I too am over the clapping the new gods who work in the NHS.

I gave up on thinking the nhs was great when I was sexually assaulted by an nhs consultant

@Lunariagal it is impressive when you see things swing into action like that. My son had a sore throat, thought tonsillitis but he was getting worse. Went to out of hours and the doctor asked me if I had a car, I said yes, she said I don't want to wait for an ambulance, get him to a&e and someone will be waiting for you. I thought not likely.

Arrived at hospital, gave his name, went to sit down in crowded waiting room and nurse called us through, doctor was waiting. As doctor lanced the quinsy nurse was setting up iv antibiotics. As soon as that was done he was taken to a ward and given a side room. He got fantastic care. Maybe inspired him to be the nurse he is?

Your post show such a lack of empathy.
My DD is a student nurse ( final year) I hear it all from her.
Amazing people pushed to the limit.

OP I am glad you have retired.

@rooarsome

This attitude from "old school" nurses is rife. They look down on the newer cohorts who are degree educated, as though intelligence and academia somehow detracts from compassion and caring. Your daughter's poor experience is not reflective of the thousands of nurses across the country. Nurses really do eat their young.

Nurses in the past weren't always great. My gran died of cancer of the bowel when I was a teenager so late 60s. District nurse was supposed to call 3 times a day to give her morphine. One sweet caring nurse was always late leaving gran in agony. Her response when grandfather complained was, "She's a good Catholic woman, she should offer up her suffering." Yes very very caring, if only nurses now could aspire to such standards.

I completely agree OP
I worked in care both community and residential,
Admissions to hospitals were keenly avoided and often the kiss of death as they came back out worse than they went in

Never met a compassionate nurse
Perhaps I've been unlucky

As an ex nurse myself I couldn’t agree more @AnnieGetYourPun. When I was in hospital a couple of years ago the care was appalling once I arrived on the ward and when my late mother was an inpatient in 2019 I had to put in numerous official complaints , eventually my sisters and I were basically doing all the care ourselves and that’s without the numerous medication errors that were made .

My gran used to have to pee on her pad in her bed towards the very end of her life. It wasn’t pleasant for her but it was the safest option for her as she weighed about 4 stone, her body was wasting away and she would have been agony if it they’d moved her each time she needed to go, even lifting her on and off a commode by the bed. The pad wasn’t changed “later” though, it was changed immediately, but my gran was in a very good nursing home and had at least one of us with her at all times by then so we’d fetch some staff members and they’d sort it for her.

I understand why your niece was upset by what she witnessed and I don’t know the poor elderly lady’s situation but thought I’d put that out there that the reason might be completely understandable. Fwiw my mother went mad when she realised the staff were getting gran to use a pad like that but soon realised herself that it was the lesser of 2 evils.

Poor woman being dismissed

But not all will be the same. I don’t think you can generalise, some will be very good.

I saw HORRORS when my mum was dying a slow, painful, avoidable death for months weeks on a ward.

The lack of care at times felt criminal. It has left me genuinely traumatised. But, it was almost always short staffing or time pressures and not the fault of individuals. I could never do what those nurses did. Or the HCAs who were, on the whole, a blessing. To do that job is brave.

Wards are understaffed and the pressure must be immense. But to see elderly patients left in their own mess for hours, allowed to fall repeatedly, delirium and dementia dismissed as 'one of those things ' and family members left to feed, clean and help not only their own relatives but other patients is horrendous. I will never, ever be able to come to terms with my mum dying in that place.

The system is broken, but the nurses are doing their best to work with a fat lot of nothing. You won't ever get me on a hospital ward without a fight.

Like any gig there’s good and bad, trouble is the consequences can be so dreadful when you get a lazy nurse lacking on the compassion front. My husband was on a high dependency ward for 3/12 and some of the behaviour I witnessed was shocking. I’d go in every day to care for my husband, and I’d often help others with drinks and food etc. There was one nurse who was such a ghastly bitch that honestly if it was a dark night and no-one was around you’d be tempted to rid the world of her evil presence. And you couldn’t complain because they’d treat the patient like shit altogether then, you’d have to suck it up and then write a letter afterwards that would be ignored.

@AnnieGetYourPun

And don’t tell me it’s all Covid/staff shortages/staff illness related.

My niece was eventually admitted to hospital after being sent home twice from A&E (in agony) and is now on a gynae ward. It’s just her and an elderly lady on the ward. The elderly lady was getting agitated as she needed the toilet. The nurse came and said, and I quote “it’s alright, use your pad and we’ll come and sort you out later”. This has really upset my niece who’s dodging sepsis now, on the ward, on massive IV antibiotics/anti-emetics and IV analgesia. She has narrowly avoided a ruptured uterus as there was no one to do a scan on her, after a 12 hr wait in A&E. She is 32.

Nurses now... all of ‘em have degrees. All dead clever. Very few of them have an ounce of “caring” in them.

Fry me on here. I’m past fucking caring.

Should add. I trained in the NHS. Was a student/junior staff nurse/senior staff nurse/junior sister and G grade senior sister before retirement. Never, in my f***g life have I seen such lack of basic care and maintenance of human dignity than I have witnessed in NHS hospitals, in the past two years.

Shove your clapping and rainbows.

Its almost always staff shortage related. The lack of time allowed for each patient now is a lot less than historically. Just think how long, for example, new mums spent in hospital.

It's not like people flood to nursing for the riches and glamour of it...

I have been wondering about this. I work in the NHS, I am aware of the strains that staff (including nursing staff) are under, and I had come to believe the lapses in care for patient well-being stemmed from that.

However, having had experience of hospital care in Ireland (before Covid) I was forced to recognise that nursing care there is light years better, despite even more straightened circumstances. Not in terms of clinical expertise, but in the quality of basic nursing care.

I don't know what causes this difference or how to address it, but I can no longer deny that alongside the many superb nurses working in the NHS there are a fair number who provide a grudging and shoddy level of care.

Yes, it is shocking. Worst thing they ever did was to make nursing a degree thing. Offer it as an option, but most nurses now see themselves in a really different way. Added to that how many nurses dont want to be nurses, but go off into management or related fields, and how many get out of nursing because they burn out, and you have a recipe for disaster. I work in mental health where some of my colleagues came from a nursing background and some from psychology. The nurses definitely feel themselves to be superior, which is also part of it I think.