Son has had his class changed suddenly

[Sunshineandalltherainbows]

So I had an email from school saying that from the 8th March they were adding another class to the year group with catch up funding. They have picked 4 children from each current class and put them into aa new class. He is one of the 4 that has been chosen. He's autistic and has been moved without any friends. He only has 3 friends and find it very difficult to make new friends and change is really tricky for him. He has locked himself in his room sobbing and has destroyed the house completely. He is saying he won't go to school and I can't force him to. I'm so worried. I'm also unsure why they are making this change the first week back after lockdown. I'm so worried.

How old is he? I'm unclear why you have told him before spoke to school about why they've done it? Especially if expected sons response? ... Might be a really good reason that's best in long run.

Did you email them asking them for their reasons? Explain how this has affected him, poor lad. And poor you too, picking up the pieces for someone else's decision.

They have created the situation, they have to offer a solution.

Speak to them and see what they think and discuss your concerns.

This seems bizarre that they have chosen a child with additional needs. Unless it's to form a smaller class so individual needs can be met more easily? Which still seems unfair, as they're in a mainstream setting.

You need to speak to the school. Even if there was no way out of your son being chosen, there are ways to help children deal with changes like this. Him finding out via an email from school is ridiculous.

They said they just picked 4 children randomly from each class. We were given an email saying your child is going to be in this class from the 8th. I couldn't not let him know this was happening?
I've emailed the head and SENCo. The SENCo said that she thought send children hadn't been moved but she'd do hima social story.
A social story isn't going to change the anguish and deep upset this has caused. Its so difficult. I really hope the can reconsider.

You need to contact them and explain that he needs to remain with his friendship group. We have done this before but have taken care to move friends together. If they are going to move your ds they should have also moved at least one friend.

Picking kids at random is very poor. You need to ask for a meeting. I am a teacher and parent of a child with SN and I would not just let this go.

I would raise a complaint tbh about how this has been done and ask specifically why he has been moved when it has had this impact.

So you are fully aware of your child's reaction to change?

So you contacted the school to request that the change not happen?
and you don't yet know the answer, but it sounds from what they sad as if it is ok for your child to not move.
And your child has smashed up the place and locked himself in his room as he cannot handle the prospect of change?

That's completely your fault. You said it was in an email to you. So why tell your child about it even though you knew you had the option of contacting the school to query it first?

And then post on hereabout how much the school have upset him?!

[quote mumwon]@MrMucker are you a troll? - of course she to speak to him you don't know how he will react & also if the school will back down &he might need preparation rather than dropping it on him last minute[/quote]
No, not a troll.
I have every conviction that the school will reconsider.
I just think OP ought to have instigated the convo with school first without saying anything to son.
There was no need to tell son first, especially given the way he is known to react to change.
OP complains that putting him through this emotional palaver is unfair of the school.
Schools get things wrong. The sensible thing to do would have been contact them first.

There's at least another week until they go back to school and you could have spoken to the school and changed their mind without your DS even having any idea about the plans. Also why on earth tell him just before the weekend and cause extra anguish? If you know he reacts like this to change you should protect him from situations like this.

As parent of a SN child who really struggles with change, who knows how long they would take to get back with a definite decision once theyve been asked to reconsider... would be far worse to only give child a days notice especially if they react like this with a week+ notice. That's why OP has told her child. I agree this is really wrong OP.

Just a thought- have they chosen the children that they think might need extra help to catch up??

Explain how upset he is and ask if they can reconsider or if they really think that this is best for him

I wouldn’t have told my child this yet. You need to sort it out with school. If school change their mind, you’ve put him through all that anguish for nothing!

I’d be furious op. Far more thought should have gone into it than “at random”. You just don’t do that to an autistic child, especially in these circumstances. I’m so sorry op, my child with ASD would have reacted the same way.

I’d be on the phone on Monday morning asking for a meeting to discuss - including how they think this is in his best interests, how it fits with his Sen plan/ehcp, his reaction... a social story really isn’t going to cut it.

I really suspect theres a reason for this that they can't tell you. Another DC with issues they're protecting him from.

For those saying why did I tell him. I was told to tell him as his new teaching is calling on Monday morning. I can not tell him a moment before. I have hated to tell him this. Unsure why this is now my fault for telling my child when the letter told me to and to tell child teacher will call.
I think it's really unfair to spring this on him. He's academically very advanced but socially struggles. He has had a good small close set of friends. School in their initial emails are not reconsidering swapping him back.

But let me just guess this straight some people think it would have been a good idea to not tell him and the just spring it on him?
So it's now my fault despite it not being my choice whatsoever.

DS is autistic, his school have pulled so many of these kinds of screw ups we're at the point of homeschooling if they do it to him again. @MrMucker my experience has been that my son needs as long as possible to prepare for changes, that it is left to parents to manage the preparation process and that schools don't understand and are not interested in understanding the impact of their actions, so for balance, I completely understand why the OP told their child what the school have decided.

We've had a new teacher, then another new teacher, a meeting that was supposed to introduce DS to his new teacher rescheduled twice and then cancelled, three changes to who DS's one to one support is going to be and now a Pollyanna-cheerybollocks email from the school telling us how important it is to prepare DS for returning to school.

OP, you are 100% within your rights to require an explanation from the school of how the move fits with your child's EHCP (or pupil profile), what steps the school have planned to prepare him for the change, and what their plan B is if their actions have an adverse impact on his ability to access learning effectively.

Have to say I agree that I wouldn’t have told him until I’d at least attempted to get further info and maybe a rethink from the school at the beginning of next week.
That aside I’m a teacher and feel this is a VERY odd decision by school.
4 from each class will be a pretty small class so would suggest it is for the benefit of those that need extra help and support. Picking kids at random like this makes no sense especially if one of them has recognised Sen.
If the senco didn’t know then this does not appear to have been well though through.

I have children with ALNs who would also struggle with this. I would have emailed school first and stated that it's not appropriate to move him. I'm not sure how this scenario can actually work,so 4 children from each year group means a large class of mixed year groups? How is that helpful? Unless it's some sort of nurture provision and then I would assume your child was deliberately chosen.

I don't understand this situation, surely you can just say no.

I think this wasn't handled the best by the school.I can understand you wanting to prepare your child for change but if you suspected this then I wouldn't have told them until you were able to have a conversation with the school.

I wouldn't want to pull any of my children from friendship groups right now, they need that.

It’s not your fault and yes you had to tell him. You know your child best. I think it’s worth a fairly robust discussion with them though - if he really has to move why can’t a friend move too? If it really is so random. My hunch is it isn’t random at all and it’s some sort of “special” class. Is it permanent or just for the rest of this year? Would they normally mix classes for September anyway?

He is at a 5 form junior school. The additional class means that each class will have between 19-22 children.
I get why smaller class size is good. The way its been done seems thoughtless.

And it's for the rest of this year and next year. I have a feeling it's because they will use the 1:1 he has funding for as the additional adult in the extra class. I have no proof of this just a hunch.