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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son has had his class changed suddenly

81 replies

Sunshineandalltherainbows · 26/02/2021 20:47

So I had an email from school saying that from the 8th March they were adding another class to the year group with catch up funding. They have picked 4 children from each current class and put them into aa new class. He is one of the 4 that has been chosen. He's autistic and has been moved without any friends. He only has 3 friends and find it very difficult to make new friends and change is really tricky for him. He has locked himself in his room sobbing and has destroyed the house completely. He is saying he won't go to school and I can't force him to. I'm so worried. I'm also unsure why they are making this change the first week back after lockdown. I'm so worried.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 26/02/2021 22:31

Call the senco back and say as he is now refusing school a social story won't cut it ask for them to reconsider due to your child's obvious distress

Nith · 26/02/2021 22:33

Point out to them that he is disabled and they should be making reasonable adjustments for him, which means that he should not be moved.

StanfordPines · 26/02/2021 22:34

@Sunshineandalltherainbows

But let me just guess this straight some people think it would have been a good idea to not tell him and the just spring it on him? So it's now my fault despite it not being my choice whatsoever.
I’m guessing most people assumed this would be going ahead until the 8th. How was anyone to know that his new teacher was calling Monday?
Anothermother3 · 26/02/2021 22:36

What about reasonable accommodation being made as the result of him having ASD. That’s shocking OP. I would ask very clearly how to escalate it and what the next level is to take it to the board of governors and then to the local authority and don’t back down.

MargaretThursday · 26/02/2021 22:37

I would suspect it hasn't been done at random, but it's a convenient way to stop complaints.

I would contact the school and explain the distress it's brought on, but be willing to work with them.
It might turn out to be the best thing ever. I know for my ds he would have got very distressed beforehand, but sometimes the things that stress him out, and any change is one of them, have ended up being a really positive thing. However getting there has been painful.

Symbion · 26/02/2021 22:37

I'm going to guess upper end of primary, state school??

It sounds insane to actually pick children at random - I would be amazed if that is actually the case. I think you need a direct conversation with senior leadership or his current teacher urgently and understand more about why and how they envisage it all working. It would send my autistic lad off the deep end and sounds completely inappropriate for any child really. ALL children need and deserve to go back into familiar routine now, and any additional budget should be used for small groups to have catch up coaching without taking away the security they derive from their class.

I reckon they have some grand plan such as targeting children they think will need the most help by moving them into a smaller group. There is a good chance that if you explain the effect that would have on his mental health that they will find another way forward. Eg perhaps he could stay with his own class but just join the new one for English, or whatever.

StanfordPines · 26/02/2021 22:38

@Sunshineandalltherainbows

And it's for the rest of this year and next year. I have a feeling it's because they will use the 1:1 he has funding for as the additional adult in the extra class. I have no proof of this just a hunch.
They aren’t allowed to do that. If he has funding for a 1:1 then that person is only allowed to be with him. Of course they might well tie another child’s shoelace or run to the photocopier but they are not allowed to be a general TA.

The idea of creating an extra class seems a good one, but your DS’s name should not have gone into the ‘hat’.

Original poster
Sunshineandalltherainbows · 26/02/2021 22:42

I know they're not allowed to do that. However every other class has Their normal TA new class has new teacher and 1:1 LSA.
All classes are now around same size.
He's not behind that's the one thing he's good at anything to do with academia. Is always given greater depth etc.
However, he really does struggle socially and emotionally. Therefore, I am concerned the one thing that he struggles will be tested to the limit with this decision.
I could have even understood it better if they'd just mixed the whole year group.

OP posts:
GeorgiaGirl52 · 26/02/2021 22:43

Having spent 30 years in public education, I can say NO WAY was this a "random" choice. Children were chosen because the teacher wanted them gone or because the school believed the parents would not make any objections.

I was chosen for a move like this -- middle of the year, into a new class with none of my friends. My mother was a teacher in the same district but a different school and the principal assumed that she would not kick up a fuss because it would risk her job. She explained it to me just that way. I had to "suck it up" so she could keep her job.

Starlightstarbright1 · 26/02/2021 22:45

I don't buy for one minute it is random..

Yes i would ask them to reconsider. Return to school will be tough enough

Santatizer · 26/02/2021 22:47

Does your DS have an EHCP? If so, is their provision in it for consistency / adequate preparation for changes / support to maintain friendships anything at all you could reference with the school to say no, this isn't going to happen? I am a secondary SENDCo and think you are absolutely correct that this isn't ok. I would not allow the phone call with his teacher to take place on Monday other than to talk with her yourself and explain that you will be keeping DS at home until the situation is resolved. If there is stuff in the EHCP to support your stance, quote it and remind them of their legal obligations. Also give SENDIASS a call and ask them for their advice. The transition back to school is difficult enough for neurotypical young people but to expect your ASC DS to manage this change without the support of his peer group and the consistency of his usual teacher us totally not on.

Santatizer · 26/02/2021 22:47

*there not their

Hankunamatata · 26/02/2021 22:50

Its not random. Its suspicious that there wouldnt be a TA in the class unless your son moved with his TA.

Original poster
Sunshineandalltherainbows · 26/02/2021 22:51

Santatizer thank you that's really useful advice. I will look into this. He does have an EHCP for 30 hours since he was 4. His annual review is due in March.

OP posts:
Nellythemouse · 26/02/2021 22:51

The TA thing is very plausible and I’d call them out on it. Point out your child’s 1:1 is for them and their needs are far better met in their existing class. Make a list of points in favour of your argument and push back, hard. Normally I think it’s absolutely fair enough schools say their decision is final when it comes to class lists etc but clearly here they’ve either been very thoughtless about his needs and should rectify that or there’s something else going on.

Hankunamatata · 26/02/2021 22:53

Even worse it's a new teacher. They dont know him or his traits/personality. You think they would have moved him at least with one close friend. Of course unless one of his friends parents have asked them to be separated

AnitaB888 · 26/02/2021 23:03

"He has locked himself in his room sobbing and has destroyed the house completely."

And you let him do that?!

He's a 10 year old boy, not the Incredible Hulk.

Original poster
Sunshineandalltherainbows · 26/02/2021 23:04

AnitaB888 do you have a child with additional needs?

OP posts:
Nellythemouse · 26/02/2021 23:04

Guessing you don’t have a child with ASD Anita....

LilyPond2 · 26/02/2021 23:04

I agree you should contact the school about this and let them know how badly your son has taken news of the change. Listen to what they have to say, but if they insist your son has been picked at random, ask that they leave him with his friends and be prepared to make a formal complaint if they won't reconsider.

Ignore the nasty posts blaming you for your son's reaction.

endlesswicker · 26/02/2021 23:05

This is a monumental fuck-up on the school's part.

I would be absolutely livid. You need to tell them in no uncertain terms that it is not happening. When this new teacher rings on Monday, have a calm chat (it's not their personal fault after all) and tell them exactly how you feel about what the school has done and why it is such a disaster for your ds. Tell them (politely) that you will not accept this change under any circumstances, and that they need to go and tell those responsible that they have to rectify the situation.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 26/02/2021 23:11

@Sunshineandalltherainbows

But let me just guess this straight some people think it would have been a good idea to not tell him and the just spring it on him? So it's now my fault despite it not being my choice whatsoever.
No - but starting back is over a week away - if you planned to speak with the school with the intention of getting them to reverse the decision, you could have left it a few days while you attempt to do that.
Ellie56 · 26/02/2021 23:13

@Sunshineandalltherainbows

That is an absolutely shit thing to do. Clearly the school has no understanding of autism or of your son.

If the 1:1 is specifically written into your DS' EHCP they should not be used for anything else.

If the school refuses to reconsider, I would be raising a formal complaint and reminding them of their legal obligation to make reasonable adjustments for pupils with disabilities. Because of his autism your son needs consistency and routine as he cannot cope with change, so should not even have been considered for the move.(Not making reasonable adjustments could be construed as disability discrimination.)

Also the LA is legally responsible for the provision in the EHCP. If your DS is not getting what he is legally entitled to as a result of this move you can complain to the LA. Use the model letter here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/complaining-when-the-provision-in-an-ehc-plan-is-not-being-made-model-letter-6

Viciouslybashed · 26/02/2021 23:16

@AnitaB888

"He has locked himself in his room sobbing and has destroyed the house completely."

And you let him do that?!

He's a 10 year old boy, not the Incredible Hulk.

Think you are showing your ignorance here.
AnitaB888 · 26/02/2021 23:20

'Guessing you don’t have a child with ASD Anita....'

No but I know people who work in this area.
Common sense dictates that there should be one 'safe room' where they can be put when 'acting up' so as not to harm himself and others.
Resperidone can be used for aggressive ASD