What age does a child need a phone?

[Beep9724]

Hi all! My son is nearly 10. He does actually have an old iPhone with no SIM card in it. He uses it to take photos and videos etc, okay games. But he cannot call or text (unless it’s face time or I message).

He’s in year 5. I mentioned to dp about getting him a phone for Christmas when he is in year 6 so he can have one for secondary September 2022. Still a little way off yet.

He says he’s too young. But aibu to think he will need one when he goes secondary school? Seems like most of them take them. The local school say they can have a phone if stays in the bottom of their bag and can be used at lunchtimes I think. A bit different to when I was at school. Phones were a total no!!

I think your timing is right, last year of primary/ start of secondary. We have to accept children and technology is not how it was 20/30 years ago, it’s their main source of contact between them and their friends.

We've said secondary as the DC will have to travel to the next town.

Mine had one at 11 as he had to catch the bus home. Almost all have them as that age but I wouldn't give it any earlier and it had almost no data.

My son and daughter got one the month before they started high school, my youngest starts high school in September so she will be getting one around August time

My DD got a phone for her 11th birthday (October) as she started walking to school alone in yr 6. We use Family Link to keep her safe online.

Tech is becoming a huge part of life and kids have to be trusted at some point. There are lots of ways you can manage the use of phones though, and schools are putting emphasis on internet safety too.

My DC got brick phones in Year 5 when they started walking to school without an adult, and playing out. The idea was that they proved themselves sensible about having a phone with them and having the phone switched on and charged up and with sufficient credit to make a call.
They both got smartphones for their 11th birthdays in preparation for secondary school (where, it's by and large assumed by the school that everyone has a phone in terms of actual school stuff is easier with one, never mind social life!)

I don't think there is a set age.

I think it's when you start giving your child some independence, be that staying home/walking to school alone or travelling to shops with mates.

Yeah I think end of primary school so he can get his friends numbers before he leaves and into secondary school. Just a basic one and tight parental controls.

We got ds one when he started high school.

I’m 23 and had a phone in year 6. Everyone else had one by year 7 at the latest. It was needed even back then for me to ring my parents, very useful if I felt sick or forgot something important in the first year. Granted being a girl it was sometimes pads or paracetamol . Also used on snow days to tell them I’d be home early, and one time the power cut out and they couldn’t ring parents. I think your timing is perfect to be honest.

Agree there is no time limit it depends on the child's maturity level to look after a phone and how much independence they have where they would require to be in contact with you

We got one when DD started being outside alone, walking to friends and going to clubs. That was the end of Y5, so Summer time.

When she started Y6 all but the ones with younger siblings walked alone to and from school and had phones.

Secondary is nearly a must, they use the phones in class, especially art and are encouraged to use certain apps.

We have a strict policy about social media and DD knows we can check her phone at any time if we think it is necessary, she is in Y9 now.

My DS had an iPod Touch from year 5 so very similar to your DS with his SIMless iPhone.

We got him a dumb phone at the start of year 6 as he started meeting me halfway home then walking the whole way. It was a tenner from the Asda as I recall.

He had a smart phone for his birthday in the summer holidays between primary school and secondary. With iPhones you can tie their phone to yours so you have a good deal of control. I have to approve apps on my phone before they’ll download on his and I have restrictions set with a password only I know. It’s been a godsend for him over these lockdowns being able to keep in touch with his friends from school.

My DS is getting one for his 11th birthday in May. I intend to start increasing his independence a little over the summer holidays in readiness for secondary school. He will be walking there and back and letting himself in alone sometimes. He has never really needed to previously as we have younger children to be there for and collect etc.
I think a phone will be necessary then but he will have the summer to get used to the responsibility of it.

*Secondary is nearly a must, they use the phones in class, especially art and are encouraged to use certain apps."

That depends very much on the secondary. Ours allows no phones in school; those who travel in can have them on the way but have to hand them in on arrival. It does make things much simpler - and cheaper - DD has a PAYG and doesn't even use the minimum top-up!

DD was 10 and is an only so I got her a sim for my old phone during the first lockdown - most of her friends had a phone, it was such a relief for her to have contact with them. In normal circumstances, it would have been a few months later - year 6 - as she walks to and from school, and I like her to text me when she’s leaving / arrived.

My DD is Yr5. Majority of her class walk home alone, and most appear to have phones. No idea if they have Sim cards in. My own DD hasn't asked yet. (She leaves school alone, but just finds the car as we live outside town).

Our plan was to get one when she needs one, which will happen sometime between now and starting Secondary

DD was one of the last to ge hers in the last year of primary.

A lot of DC where I live get them in year 4 (age 8-9) as school expect that they will walk to/from school by themselves from that point. Those who don't get them at that point get them in year 5 when they start middle school as they will be walking or bussing in and then going in the gate themselves, no parents are allowed in the yard and if you have younger ones to drop off at first school then you've no option but to leave them at the gates for 8.20/8.30 anyway.

I bought one of the newer Nokia 3310s for Dd for use when she was at swimming galas and places where we might be separated when she was 9 with just family numbers stored but that's all it was ever used for. I bought Dd a laptop at the start of lockdown 1 and she uses that to communicate with her friends - she's year 6 now.

I work in a secondary school, alot of year 7s have a smart phone them for when they start or get them for Christmas that year. ALOT of them have cracked screens from dropping them, they tend to still be at an age where they throw their blazers and bags around, using them as goals etc so if you are going to but a smart phone I wouldn't get an expensive one. We have lots of problems with social media, online bullying etc and they are a major source of anxiety so I will be avoiding buying Dd a proper smart phone for as long as possible.

DD got hers last summer, just before starting secondary. It is needed as she gets the bus to the nearest town - means she can contact me easily (when after school clubs get cancelled last minute etc).

To add to the point about them not looking after phones, DD had to put money towards hers and bought her own case etc. She looks after it because she’s invested in it (and she’s a very sensible kid anyway!).

11 for secondary school.

Important for friendship groups etc.

I actually think there becomes an age when it is detrimental to not have a phone. DD friend who is 14 isn't allowed one and she misses out on lots of things.

DD just got hers for her 11th birthday. It's a midrange one with a good cover/screen protector. That seems to be the right age and phone type around here.