What age does a child need a phone?

[Beep9724]

Hi all! My son is nearly 10. He does actually have an old iPhone with no SIM card in it. He uses it to take photos and videos etc, okay games. But he cannot call or text (unless it’s face time or I message).

He’s in year 5. I mentioned to dp about getting him a phone for Christmas when he is in year 6 so he can have one for secondary September 2022. Still a little way off yet.

He says he’s too young. But aibu to think he will need one when he goes secondary school? Seems like most of them take them. The local school say they can have a phone if stays in the bottom of their bag and can be used at lunchtimes I think. A bit different to when I was at school. Phones were a total no!!

Secondary, unless latchkeyed earlier. Access to a phone, whether a home phone or mobile, when home alone. DS was 9 when he got his own as he was letting himself in after school.

Speaking as a teacher and a parent, I'd say Year 6. Around the time you start letting them have a bit of freedom/responsibility, ie, walking home from school by themselves, popping to the local shop for you, etc. Get a tracking app put on it & don't buy them the latest model - it'll get dropped, lost or stolen at some point!!

I'd agree with the start of secondary school.

My DD had a phone for her 11th birthday. So somewhere between year 6 and 7 but they don't actually need one until secondary school.

I would suggest that they know you will randomly check their phone on a regular basis until they 15 as social media can be a nightmare for tweens/young teenagers.

I'd put a sim in the current phone for now and upgrade it for secondary.

My two had their first phones for their 11th birthdays.

DS had his phone for the whole of Year 6, as his birthday is early September, and my February-born daughter had hers for the second half of Year 6.

I despise kids having smartphones. It contributes massively in cyber bullying and revenge porn. Whether that’s being the victim or perpetrator.

I have a 1yo DD and even though it’s years and years away it’s something that worries me. She’ll likely have friends who have the latest smart phone.
But I don’t want that for her. I want her to have a very basic call/text phone with child restrictions on it, no internet usage and no contract. She’ll be topped up weekly. If she uses it all then she goes without until next top up.

She’ll hate me but I want to protect her the best I can.

You have to be 14 (is it?) to have most social media platforms anyway. So they don’t need a smartphone before then anyway.

When they say good bye to their primary school classmates it’s important for them to be able to exchange phone numbers so they can still stay in touch if they want to, so I’d say they need a phone before the end of year 6, and probably a phone which can run WhatsApp because that’s highly likely to be how others want to keep in touch.

When my DC went to secondary school many years ago I started them off with brick phones, but moved to smart phones because all the class chatter including the useful “what’s the homework tonight, can you send me a picture of the question because I’ve lost it” stuff and also the jokes, social plans and general bonding was on WhatsApp.

I got mine during year 6 and so did most of my friends. It was a good transition age - you start getting more independence like walking home alone in preparation for secondary school and having that backup of knowing I could call for help made it easier.

It also meant we could do things like call and ask if we could go to a friends house after school, letting friendships be more flexible. Having that little bit of control over our own social lives helped us grow up a bit too.

We all had the rule that the phone had to be off during the school day and charged downstairs at night. I'm planning on doing the same with my own kids when the time is right.

I despise kids having smartphones. It contributes massively in cyber bullying and revenge porn. Whether that’s being the victim or perpetrator. I have a 1yo DD and even though it’s years and years away it’s something that worries me

Maybe come back and comment when you have a child old enough to understand the use of smartphones in children today? Giving a child a smartphone is not the cause of cyber bullying - that's due to a child being a bully.

@24butfeeling80

I despise kids having smartphones. It contributes massively in cyber bullying and revenge porn. Whether that’s being the victim or perpetrator.

I have a 1yo DD and even though it’s years and years away it’s something that worries me. She’ll likely have friends who have the latest smart phone.
But I don’t want that for her. I want her to have a very basic call/text phone with child restrictions on it, no internet usage and no contract. She’ll be topped up weekly. If she uses it all then she goes without until next top up.

She’ll hate me but I want to protect her the best I can.

You have to be 14 (is it?) to have most social media platforms anyway. So they don’t need a smartphone before then anyway.

I get the concern but as the teen without a phone in school it was quite shit. Not only was it embarrassing to be 15 with no phone but everyone does things and doesn't invite you and you get left back. It could well stunt her social development

This is the 2020s, not whenever you were a teen and it's obviously different. You can't let the worst case scenario stop your child doing everything

In Yr 6 DD started going out more independently, if she was with friends we had a phone she would take with her. We bought her own phone for starting high school.
We got a second hand iPhone. Apparently a good move, at her school the only phone to have is an iPhone.
Set your ground rules early. DD is not allowed to change her pin to one we don't know. My personal advice is to avoid all class WhatsApp groups and just swap details with people you actually like. I know you're supposed to be older to have it but it's a very useful app.
I said no to Insta until Yr9. Be mindful of what they are doing if you allow tiktok and keep up to date with what (as a parent) to be aware of. Although I think you're better off talking about safe behaviour online instead of banning sites or apps.

@24butfeeling80

I despise kids having smartphones. It contributes massively in cyber bullying and revenge porn. Whether that’s being the victim or perpetrator.

I have a 1yo DD and even though it’s years and years away it’s something that worries me. She’ll likely have friends who have the latest smart phone.
But I don’t want that for her. I want her to have a very basic call/text phone with child restrictions on it, no internet usage and no contract. She’ll be topped up weekly. If she uses it all then she goes without until next top up.

She’ll hate me but I want to protect her the best I can.

You have to be 14 (is it?) to have most social media platforms anyway. So they don’t need a smartphone before then anyway.

Some schools use smart phones in class to access things like caboodle a language website. Not having a phone can result in real bullying and cyber bullying still happens, people can still be bullied online without having a phone. As for revenge porn I'm pretty certain its not the phone doing it, so its immaterial if your child has their own phone

Dd is 11 (Yr 7) when schools closed last March every single person in her class (then yr6) had a phone. So I would say Yr 6, is a good age.
I'm 29 and I had a phone in primary school.

Dd 8.5 has my old phone with a new sim so she can WhatsApp her school friends, it's been vital during lockdown.

My daughter is 8.

Some of her friends got phones for Xmas. Which I think is mad!!! Because she wanted to talk to her friends I gave her my old one with no sin card. But it’s nuts.

DD is year 6. It was always our intention to give her a phone at some point this year so the novelty has worn off a bit before secondary school. That said, it's not happened yet as she's not been at school.
I can't decide whether to give her a smartphone or not. I have an old iPhone 6s that I could hand down but it's still worth almost a couple of hundred quid and seems a lot for an 11 year old to be responsible for. I'm tempted just to get a simple PAYG 'dumb' phone but worry she might feel left out of everyone else has a smartphone. Not that I'd let her have social media apps just yet anyway.

DD is Y6, just turned 11. We got her a smartphone for Christmas, partly because we always planned that she'd have one before secondary, and partly in expectation of another lockdown. It's been a lifesaver since Christmas, she's an only child and has loved contacting friends and her grandma. She's generally sensible, but it's got parental controls, she knows we can and do check it and it's downstairs at night. Obviously she's not had time to break or lose it yet as she's barely taken it out of the house!

You have to be 14 (is it?) to have most social media platforms anyway. So they don’t need a smartphone before then anyway.
They use a smartphone for Google maps and train and bus times. DS was catching the train to meet friends at 12. They play games on them at breaks, DS reads on his. They use them in class to take pictures of spelling words and other things on the whiteboard and so on. They would be the odd one out without one.

Surely they need a phone when there is a use for it? Ie walking home alone or going places regularly where you'd like that direct line of contact or potentially keeping in touch with friends independently.
My 9yrs old has a phone since the summer because half of her family is in France and the other in India and it helps for her to keep in touch that way and it was great when she was with my parents for 2-3 weeks over the summer without me/DH.
Without this international set up I wouldn't have given her one yet. I'd have waited for the time when she would walk home from school alone for instance.

My son's birthday is in September, we will get him one for his birthday as he starts year 7. He has a smart watch currently I can track him on and call each other if he's out playing.

I'm 32 and got my first phone in the last term of year 6, which was a good age. I used to text my friends when on school holidays etc, and play Snake of course! I liked being able to contact my mum in private when at a sleepover and actually got her to collect me once when I felt uncomfortable at a friend's house.

My DD is 9 and most of her friends have phones. We will probably get her one in the first few months of year 6 if not slightly before.

DD1 got one for her 9th birthday because her Dad and I are divorced so she could keep in touch with us both. DD2 will get same when she turns 9 this year... everyone’s circumstances are different.
I would say when goes to secondary if walking to school but not if you’re talking him.
Makes a change to hear of a kid not wanting one B and parent trying to make them 🤣🤣

My oldest two got phones in year 6 and we’ll do the same for the youngest when she’s in year 6 and is walking to school on her own and playing out more.

My toddler thinks he should have one right now!

He's got a long wait until he starts secondary school instead!