AIBU asking my DH to wash his hands with soap?

[Cinderstella]

Dear Mumsnetters, DH puts bins and recycling out, comes in holds hands under tap for about 2 secs then dries.
Stomps upstairs in a fury because I say he needs to wash them with soap after dealing with rubbish bins. Apparently I’m being unreasonable.

Do his hands actually touch anything other than the plastic of the bin bags/plastic of the wheelie bin? If not then I can't see how different it is then getting something from the car etc and not washing your hands.

If he's dipping his hand in the rubbish or bin bag breaks or you have muddy wheelie bins, then definitely a hand wash is needed.

Totally misread the title of this post.

Very disappointed we're not talking about handwashing with soup.

He properly stamps and has an argument with you over this?

(You're right, but even if you weren't...stomping off and fury? Over this? Is there a back story?)

Yes I think you are. Be grateful that he actually does the job.
Do you check he washes his hands with soap after having a wee ?

I always wash my hands or use sanitiser after being out at the bins. If hands are dirty then use definitely soap it really doesn't take more than 30 seconds or get him to use sanitiser again only seconds.

Ooops@DinosaurDiana.
Noooo I don’t check that he washes his hands after a wee but have noticed that he doesn’t wash them after a wee.
It wouldn’t normally bother me about the bins - just the fact that we’re in a pandemic and the bins are touched by the bin crew. Maybe I ABU.
Hi@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom. He always stomps off if I question something he does. He’s currently out in his man shed but that’s ok. Gives me some space.

Your husband is a minger. And a fucking rude one too.

bins are touched by the bin crew

Do your ‘bin crew’ not wear heavy duty gloves?

I say he needs to wash them with soap

Well this is your problem, trying to tell him what he needs to do isn’t going to go down well. Assuming your husband is perfectly able to make decisions of his own then he will do as he wishes.

Stomps upstairs in a fury

Maybe he’s fed up of being told what he “needs” to do....

Hi@VainAbigail.
It’s not a question of him being fed up of being told what to do because I don’t tell him what to do I ask him and explain why.
He has to remember that he shares a home and bed with me and it’s not all about him. There has to be respect on both sides and give and take on both sides. A wife or partner should be able to question or discuss things without him going in a strop and sulking off to avoid discussion.
I’m met with that any time I differ in my point of view.

I believe the OP to be concerned about Covid so telling her that the waste crew members wear gloves is missing the point. Gloves can still transfer virus from one bin handle to another (admittedly a very small risk).

OP your husband should wash his hands with soap as a courtesy to you if he is aware of your concerns.

The bins are a symptom of the real problem.

YANBU on both issues. He sounds a bit lazy and unhygienic, not washing hands after a wee is rank.

Whether the bin crew wear heavy duty gloves or not, how many hundreds of bins do you think they touch each day? YANBU!
And not washing hands after using the toilet? Your DH is a minger!

i have a big thing about washing hands (i go through so much soap 😔) so absolutely not being unreasonable in my opinion! and his reaction is quite pathetic it’s almost funny

It’s not a question of him being fed up of being told what to do because I don’t tell him what to do I ask him and explain why.

Do you think he feels a bit patronised?

No@sunflowerandbuttercups
He’s 31, old enough to have a sense of hygiene esp during a pandemic.

I don't wash my hands after doing the bins. I do wash them numerous times during the day, but I'd never thought about doing it after wheeling the bin out.

Surely when you put the bins out the crew haven't touched it for a week?

I'm not sure any adult can be telling another about hygiene. You can decide if his standards are acceptable to you, but you can't insist he does it your way.

[quote Cinderstella]No@sunflowerandbuttercups
He’s 31, old enough to have a sense of hygiene esp during a pandemic.[/quote]
Sorry, but I would feel incredibly patronised if my husband told me when to wash my hands and felt the need to explain why.

Like you say, he's 32 so more than capable of making those decisions by himself.

I would expect him to wash his hands properly after bins yes and also definitely after the toilet gross

Bins.. not so much but after the toilet - absolutely!

@sunflowersandbuttercups If I were the OP I would be too busy feeling revolted to worry if her husband feels patronised.

I often drop bags off in the bins on my way out - ideally I'd wash my hands, but not always an option. sometimes I stop off in Tesco's and have a squirt of the sanitiser at the door

Yanbu

People who don't wash their hands after using the toilet or touching a bin are gross. End of.

It's the kind of thing you should teach a child from an early age... like a basic life skill...

Our waste people have advised we wash hands before taking bins out and bringing in and also to clean the handles at the moment
Its ds17 job he does wash his hands when he comes in after putting out, without me needing to remind him
We have always washed our hands after using outdoor bins though

[quote FangsForTheMemory]@sunflowersandbuttercups If I were the OP I would be too busy feeling revolted to worry if her husband feels patronised.[/quote]
I mean, that's fine for her to feel that way if that's how she feels.

I just don't like this trend of adults telling other adults how they should behave over something so minor.

As long as he doesn't lick his hands or wipe them over the OP's mug of tea, it's hardly going to cause a problem is it?