To quit my job?

[GrandGestures]

I'll try and keep this brief. Single mum to two dc with SN. A history of severe depression and panic attacks which I'm medicated for, going back to my teens, now mid 30's.

I hated my job pre covid but the stress of home-schooling, covid and working from home has amplified this. My employer is a small family run company, I am the only employee outside the family. The owner is racist, homophobic, disablist, rather sleazy and never wrong. The family dynamic creates a constant bad atmosphere with shouting, aggression and silent treatment over the smallest thing. Which is then taken out on me. When relationships are good, the 'jokes' are vile and still I'm walking on eggshells for the next blow up.

I have been asked to return to the office full time on March 1st, mentally I feel broken by this. Of course I have been applying for other opportunities but no such luck!

If I resign, I'll have around 20k in savings to live on (future house deposit) as I'll lose my salary and tax credits completely. Am I mad to consider this??

No, life is way too short for that bullshit!

Do it!

Yes. Sorry to be the voice of doom but you won't know when you will get a regular salary again. You could end up in a hole you can't get out of.

Could you claim pip for MH issues? It's a bit gruelling but if successful could mean your savings last longer.

I'm currently contemplating quitting.

Similarly, have savings.

I think I will feel more confident and able to get other work once I'm out of such a horrible stressful environment.

YANBU to think it. But in reality at the moment anyone quiting a job without one to go to is taking a huge risk.

Think how hard things will be in a years time you haven't found another job......

I think it is easy for people on here, who will not have to live with the consequences, to be gung-ho about this. And I can completely see the reasons behind your decision. It depends, I suppose, on how long you can realistically live off your savings, how long it is likely to be before you get another job (is it a sector that will improve once lockdown is over?) and whether you’re willing to sacrifice future homeownership by spending your deposit. Tough. Don’t think I could do it.

Yes. If you lose your tax credits you'll go onto uc and you will then have to spend your house deposit because you have too much capital You'll burn through a lot of it whilst waiting for a new job and then the rest of it if you can't find a high salary position because you won't get any top ups.

I did it. Not sure it was the best decision I made and for the first couple of weeks I was rather stressed about what would happen should I not find a job within a couple of months after leaving. I did find another job fairly quickly (was still working my notice period) I think that yes life is too short and to go for it especially if you have savings, but be prepared for those savings to deplete quickly if you have difficulties getting a job.

I was looking for work prior to handing in my notice, but as soon as I handed it in it did give me the kick up the arse to apply myself more. It wasn't fun and there certainly was some stress, but looking back now I'm glad I did (although that's easy to say now I have another job to go to)

I would err on the side of caution and try and find something else first, and I speak as someone who is really miserable in her job, unless you can claim benefits and not be that much worse off whilst looking. I wouldn't use my savings to live on

Would going off sick with stress be an option for a while first?

I wouldn't give up my job without one to go to. I wouldn't let them win on this one. Those savings must've taken a lot of time and effort and yet you'll go through them really quickly if you don't have any other income coming in. Grit your teeth and apply for as many jobs as you can.

You are in the fortunate position of having some savings. Lots of people don't so rather than suffer what sounds like an unbearable situation, get out and get yourself well and in a happier place mentally. Once you are in a better frame of mind you can concentrate on finding another job. Life really is too short. Good luck.

Thank you for your comments. I have debated this in my head for so long now that it's good to have outside perspective.
I am very wary of using the savings I have built up my entire adult life. However I had a complete mental breakdown in my 20's and the warning signs are happening again, I'm terrified of it happening again. Of course there is a lot more going on at work than I shared in my OP, as I don't want to be too outing. I'm trying so hard to pull myself together but just can't seem to do it.

My GP did sign me off for 2 months approximately 6 months ago, but the reaction my employer gave to that news was not good! They mock mental health all the time so I wasn't surprised. Ultimately I didn't use it.

Even as I search for other employment I'm aware what I really need is a few months out to sort my head out but I cannot afford to do that without taking a huge risk and burning through my savings.

You'll keep your child tax credits but lose the workibg part.

If your gp signed you off, I think you could maybe look into being signed off again.

I know I would make better decisions after a rest from a stressful work environment

Much as though you want to resign don't. In your shoes I think I'd ask to go to three days and then think about the best way forward.

If your long term plan is to leave anyway then the reaction to the sick note could just be ignored surely? It seems to be the less risky way forward at least. You could spend that time concentrating on your job search and your mental health?

Get signed off work and use the time to apply and interview prep. If successful then great, if not have this extended until you do.

Your employer cannot sack you or treat you badly if you are genuinely suffering mentally as a result of their workplace.

Also if they do decide to treat you badly or sack you because of this then find a solicitor (hopefully doesn't get anywhere near this stage)

All of the above can be done whilst applying for other jobs so you've nothing to lose and doesn't eat into savings.

Good luck

I'd apply for other jobs before quitting. It's easier to get hired when you already have a job.

@Crocky

If your long term plan is to leave anyway then the reaction to the sick note could just be ignored surely? It seems to be the less risky way forward at least. You could spend that time concentrating on your job search and your mental health?

What happened with that is, I was told in not so nice terms that if I couldn't work the door was that way > My position would be wound up as a consequence of Covid and I’ll be out. I said fine, ripped it up and said see you tomorrow. I don’t have the fight in me.

I think another GP visit is needed. Perhaps a medication increase can help me through.

Given the current state of the jobs market, I wouldn't unless you can be very certain of picking something else up quickly (it's not all doom and gloom depending on your profession) but I would definitely start job hunting. It's hard to quit when you're dependent on one income and you need to think about how long those savings will last and the longer term implications if you don't get a job before they run out, and the impact it has on your lifestyle and future plans to buy a house.

If they wind your position up, would you not get SSP in the meantime then contribution based ESA if not able to work? Meaning, if you're ok with leaving anyway, it might be a better position?

If you've been there more than 2 years then they can't just sack you.

With no other income you will burn through £20k really quickly. Job hunt like crazy of course, but walking away from a steady job atm is utter madness.

It really depends on the job and how likely you are to find something else.

The stress of working in an environment you hate us not nice but the stress of being without a job, all savings gone, pressured by the dwp to take anything else, not able to afford what you took for granted before, and seeing your self esteem crumble after each rejection is most often worse.

You need to set your mindset that nothing they say to you affect you because you are not I vested in that job any longer and will be gone in no time. Focus on your job search and take it one week at a time.