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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to HATE pretend play?!

198 replies

Randomname85 · 25/02/2021 12:00

Am I?! Tell me I’m not the only one. Any sort of ‘mummy you be this and I’ll be that’ - I cannot bear it! Baking, drawing, anything else but if I hear the words ‘mummy let’s play frozen/paw patrol/moana’ I can’t help but internally make this face 😖

I think lockdown has only exacerbated my hatred of it.

OP posts:

Daisychainsandglitter · 26/02/2021 21:26

I've found my people! DD2 wanted to play mummies and babies this afternoon for what seemed like ages. I could almost feel my eyes glazing over. Basically the game just consists of her shouting orders at me. I'd take any other type of play over than pretend play.

Sorryusernamealreadyexists · 26/02/2021 22:16

Neither of mine ever did it. One is ASD though and it’s common sign apparently!

MichB86 · 26/02/2021 23:32

This is the very reason why before the pandemic started I never stayed in the house much easier to avoid.

Also the reason why I had more than one, when I get asked by 5 year old to play PJ masks or whatever I direct him to his 3 year old brother.

Does make you feel like a bad parent though as annoyingly it’s the thing they love most. Double standards as well as I really push my husband to play with them. It’s one of my favourite things to see him really engaged and playing with them.

Shameful really

theuncles · 27/02/2021 00:24

No - I do sympathise! I'm lucky that I had twins so they could amuse themselves, but didn't realise how great it was until chatting to my other new mum friends (several of us all first timers) and they were saying how they have to spend hours role playing Octonauts, or Night Garden or whatever......Whereas I just chucked my two in together and got on with whatever I was doing.....

I still had to facilitate the art and painting and clay and all the messy stuff, so probably haven't missed out on much......

Mamanyt · 27/02/2021 00:32

Mine are 40 and 41 now, but I hated every minute of it! I also set a time limit on it, and stuck to that. "Yes, Mommy can play pretend for half a hour, but that's all." And I did that. I did try to focus on what I was learning about my kids during those trying 30 minutes. With their developing imaginations, you can learn more about who your kids are becoming in those 30 minutes than you can at any other time.

But "fun" or "enjoyable"? NO WAY IN HELL!

Inwiththenew · 27/02/2021 08:54

It’s a weird thing, but I can do it with other little kids now but when my son was that age I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t have the brain energy or something and that internal feeling of “oh god no, anything but this” used to swamp me. Like the sort of reaction I’d get from my son when I’d try and get him to do reading and writing...!

Whostoblame · 27/02/2021 09:31

I could have written the OP, hubby will play for ages with her playing Barbie's etc but it's a real mind block for me.

Original poster

Randomname85 · 27/02/2021 10:32

Haha I am just catching up on all of these - some hilarious posts on here! Definitely seems a common theme

OP posts:

JulianTheUnicorn · 27/02/2021 11:04

Oh this thread speaks to me! I have just been told by DS(3) we need to watch trolls again so I can "learn the words properly" because I keep saying the wrong thing

JonSnowIsALoser · 27/02/2021 11:04

Play beauty spa with them. You lie on the bed and they give you a foot and back massage. Not bad.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 27/02/2021 11:46

@JonSnowIsALoser

Play beauty spa with them. You lie on the bed and they give you a foot and back massage. Not bad.

That works until you realise that they don't want to be the masseuse - as the sellotape is slapped over your eyelids so they can 'do your eyebrows'.

DwangelaForever · 27/02/2021 11:47

I have no idea what to say 🙈

Thymeout · 27/02/2021 12:24

I hated it, too. My solution was to outsource any role play to stuffed toys with dc as puppeteer, playing both parts, doing different voices. So rabbit was naughty boy and owl was Mummy telling him off. Or teddy had a pain in his tummy and Dr Dog gave him the medicine to make him better. Other characters added as necessary.

Worked a treat. Quite entertaining for me, too, as I got on with what I wanted to do with a dc's version of real life/fairy tale/WW3 in Jurassic Park going on in the background. Added advantage was they felt shy about me overhearing their private games and took themselves off to where they thought I couldn't hear. Broke the third wall or whatever if I joined in.

Armadiloes · 27/02/2021 13:17

OMG yes! I was wondering if it was just me too. All through this lockdown, a 3 year old asking me to play pretend, just can't do it. Would rather sit and colour in, go a walk, bake or anything but that.

Thisistherhythmofthenight · 27/02/2021 14:10

Lol I'm not a fan either. Luckily my age gap between my sons is 14 months so they are literally into the same things and entertain each other x

Moelwynbach · 27/02/2021 15:09

My son's favourite game is fo me to cover my eyes and say "Oh no I hope that the baddies don't come along" he stands in the kitchen pretending to be his " baddie" of choice then sneaks in the room. I then have to guess what baddie he is. There is hell to pay if its wrong. I hate it but at least I don't have to be any member of Paw Patrol, Spiderman or Batman. And I get to sit in one place.

YoComoManzanas · 27/02/2021 15:14

This is why I have 2 kids close together in age.

Carriecakes80 · 27/02/2021 20:26

Really?? One of the best things about my day is when me and my youngest three kids go out for a walk and pretend to be different characters lol.
We live near an RAF site so when they're at the shooting range we'll pretend they are the bad guys after us, we get loads of air traffic too including the odd chinook, and we dive behind trees and run when they're overhead (well, I try!) we take apples from home and pretend we're runaways... and I embrace every damned second of it, because one day they will be older and have moved on and I don't want them to remember me the way I remember my own parents and how utterly boring and reserved they were!

Truly don't get where people can say its boring, unless your kids are boring because you don't play with them enough lol.

KimchiLaLa · 27/02/2021 20:32

Completely agree, I mean I know we are meant to encourage it but I'd rather do the cooking/baking/drawing/painting/education/reading with DD. DH is good at it tho.

isadorapolly · 27/02/2021 20:52

@Carriecakes80

Really?? One of the best things about my day is when me and my youngest three kids go out for a walk and pretend to be different characters lol. We live near an RAF site so when they're at the shooting range we'll pretend they are the bad guys after us, we get loads of air traffic too including the odd chinook, and we dive behind trees and run when they're overhead (well, I try!) we take apples from home and pretend we're runaways... and I embrace every damned second of it, because one day they will be older and have moved on and I don't want them to remember me the way I remember my own parents and how utterly boring and reserved they were!

Truly don't get where people can say its boring, unless your kids are boring because you don't play with them enough lol.

God how self righteous

I bet you have zero grown up friends because you’re so boring.

Notworking123 · 27/02/2021 21:42

Thank you for this thread!! My middle child would play pretend games all day every day quite happily, and when he asks me to play I fill with dread. I do try to force myself to as he just wants a few minutes of my day, and logically I know it's really not much for him to ask. BUT I FUCKING HATE IT. We go outside loads, do baking, drawing, painting, reading etc etc but what he reeeeally wants is to boss me about being a one legged lego ninja dinosaur and the thought of it makes me want to cry. Why do we hate it so very, very much?

Maybe this is what meat loaf meant when he sang, "I will do anything for love... But I won't do that."

ScienceSensibility · 28/02/2021 12:42

@Athenaena

Why are people doing this? I had this convo with a friend a few months ago who refuses to do it with her 2 and they’re perfectly fine, they don’t know any different. We both said that we can remember playing make believe crap for hours, but on our own or with our siblings, never with our parents

Parenting, like dog ownership seems to have gone absolutely nuts in the 21st century, it’s all just pandering. I have another friend whose child is an absolute nightmare tbh, you cannot have even a 3 min convo with her because her child is constantly interrupting, he cannot entertain himself for even 5 mins, he needs constant interaction and it’s so draining to be around but she admits she’s made him like that because she’s constantly pandered to him.

If you don’t want to play make believe, just don’t do it, let them get on with it themselves, what is actually the worst that’s going to happen? No one will die.

I know I sound grumpy and harsh with the above but I just think the standards parents put upon themselves nowadays just isn’t realistic, no wonder there are so many stressed, unhappy parents and spoiled, entitled children.

You don’t sound harsh.

I agree with you about some of the batshit responses on here. No wonder these kids are entitled monsters by the time they get to school.

You are a whole person with your own agency. You don’t get mummy martyr points for doing something you hate. Just stop it!

Your child will not be harmed by your refusal to pander, in fact it might be the making of them.

mummabubs · 03/03/2021 08:50

I've spent two weeks now being cast as Gimli the dwarf by my three year old. Every day. In this production Gimli has a very limited role and a script that must be stuck to at all times. I even have tie my hair under my chin to recreate the beard.

Gimli would quite like a large gin and tonic to feature in the next scene (which we never get to as we just repeat the same scene eternally), but can't indulge due to being 30 weeks pregnant with another dwarf child. Doubt the director would permit G&Ts on set anyway.

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