To be thinking about starting adult webcam work?

[StaringAtMyWalls]

I'm in a really bad financial situation.

Due to physical and mental health I cannot work full time, I struggle to even work a part time schedule (good and bad days), but part time isn't nearly enough to pay my basic bills.

I've honestly tried all avenues already - applied for LCWRA and PIP numerous times and keep getting declined even though my issues are genuine, I already live in a cheap area rent wise, cut down all bills.

I'm considering doing webcam work as I could completely choose my own hours around medical appointments, insomnia, and bad days I could take time off. It would reduce my social anxiety as it's behind a screen and if I freaked out I could just shut down the screen.

I am a shy person though and I have a LOT of stretch marks. I'm not sure I have the balls for it tbh.

I don't care if anyone finds out or records me etc, so long as it doesn't massively impact my chances of a 'regular' job - I'm happy to accept that if found out I won't be able to be a politician (!!) or work with children or say as a lawyer (!!), but would it stop me doing care home, retail or cleaning work?

Does anyone have any experience of webcam work?

@murasaki

If it is just the equivalent of the ECDL, it won't be much use. You would need experience of office work to even get a look in, sorry. If it is something else, then possibly.....

Oh no. I thought it could be an option.

Would an NC or HNC be any good? Although that would take longer - time I don't have.

What about voluntary admin experience?

Have you considered tarot card lines instead of sex work? Similar but less mentally draining I would think

Also I second the person who suggested coding. Go to www.w3schools.com has free training and a good grasp of sql or python can take you quite far and IT jobs are usually easier to negotiate remote working for, which can be helpful if you are having a rough day (not minimising the horrendus days you are currently gaving)

You need full debt advice and benefits advice.

I don't know why Stepchange tried to make you include debts you considered statute barred - the only thing I can think of is if you have somehow acknowledged the debts within the past 6 years - replied to letters or called them etc. That would set the clock back to zero and make them not statute barred again. Or you could just have had the misfortune to encounter a crap adviser. Mostly they're really good so it's worth trying again or going back to CAB or National Debtline.

You can get the 30% UC deductions reviewed. Just because they're allowed to take up to 30% doesn't mean they have to. If you are not left with enough to live on you have a very good case for getting the deductions reviewed. However as these are third party deductions you will probably need to approach the creditors in the first instance - HMRC, Council Tax and fuel companies.

There are grants you can apply for to pay off fuel debts. You might be eligible for a debt relief order. If not you should be able to get a debt management plan which will ensure you are left with enough to live on, while making a single, manageable payment each month, split proportionately between your creditors.

The first step to any of these solutions is to do a financial statement outlining as accurately as possible your incomings and outgoings and all your debts. This will also be helpful for making your case if you apply for a discretionary housing payment. If DD is under 21 you should be entitled to the LHA for two bedrooms and you should not have a non-dependant deduction on the housing element of UC.

Your DD should ensure she is also getting all the financial support she is entitled to and should check if there is anything else she can apply for in the way of discretionary grants.

My friend does camming. She earns around 60k a year so is doing well for herself but she really has to work for every penny. She will work every day for 4 weeks without taking a break and she'll set her alarm for the middle of the night so she can catch the transatlantic clients. She said when people first sign up and start camming they may get a flurry of clients who want to check out the new girl, but they will move on to the next newbie the following day. She has to put on public shows that people don't pay for. So much of it is about promoting herself. The competition is extremely stiff. It sounds exhausting. She is also young (late 20s), fit and healthy, really good-looking, and with no mental health issues. She still gets abuse from people about her looks. I have no idea what you look like but you are a mum to older/adult children with stretch marks, gynae issues and poor mental health. Could you really handle being someone else's fetish?

Could you really handle the men that get nasty? The men that will threaten to find where you live? The creepy men that get attached and will stalk you?
This is all part of the parcel is it not?

I'm not sure mumsnet is the right place to ask about camming etc.

It can be profitable, and depends on how comfortable you feeling doing different things. You could potentially hide your face, I know a lot of women do, but don't make as much money.

The internet is a big wide world, what are the chances that someone in a super market would recognise you if you get a job there? It's doubtful that you would become a huge porn celeb like Belle Delphine etc. Even then, what could they do? Admit they had been a creeper using a camming website?

I would do some more research into, and make sure to set your boundaries, and know what you do and don't feel comfortable doing.

What about getting a lodger?

OP - voluntary experience would be great. Any sort of experience trumps a dubious certificate.

The tarot cards suggestion was a good idea. Not that I believe in any of that stuff, but some people do and if they're prepared to pay you for it, it's going to be a safer world for a vulnerable person than cam work.

@springdale1

I work for my local parish council - remote and totally flexible apart from one meeting once a month for two hours. Could you do something like that?

But do you have the authority?

OP, you talk of your mental health improving and staying managed.......this is the key.
Could you approach Your GP and say you are contemplating doing sex work as a last resort. He/She may help with your MH and there may just be things you haven't considered. For example an advocate, a support worker. Now these don't pay the bills I know, but it might help.

Find food banks locally, you can be a member and also a volunteer. It is a way of interacting, getting experience and so on. There may be some basic admin work to do.

Try a little cleaning......if you do a good job, people will recommend you.I appreciate you said you have health issues, so just try a couple of hours. If you are alone in the house, you can take your time.

Value yourself OP. You have raised your daughter and she is at Uni. You support your son.
Do not go down the route of sex work.

I'm so sorry about your situation OP- I think you've had some great advice on here about other options working from home or learning a new skill.

I'd be really cautious doing penetrative sex work online with your gynae and bladder issues. If it makes them worse you might end up in a worse physical situation, with worse mental health, fewer work options and not having earned a lot or anything from your efforts.

I really hope you find something else OP.

When you fill out the PIP form, your best bet is to answer the questions in relation to how you feel on your worst day. The days you can't get out of bed and are unable to function without support. The days you can't shower or cook.

Anything about being able to function normally sometimes is taken as you're not too bad.

@SandyY2K, an advocate would come in handy here. They will find the strength the OP doesn't have right now.

Op I have an English degree and several years experience as a civil service admin myself and thought I'd be fine doing the forms myself too. I consulted citizens advice for guidance and met them showing them my draft for my application which they looked at and said was fine and no changes needed. This was not my first experience of citizens advice with poor advice on benefits I'd used 3 other offices in other locations across the Uk and they wrong footed me every time. But at this time I did not know who else was available to help with such things I was very naive

First application was rejected. I coincidentally had an appointment with gp that day and broke down on her. She signposted me to a mh self help group local to me at that time.

I went to their meeting the day after and again broke down and said what had happened. They were completely unsurprised but also kind and supportive.

They said that applications on the basis of mh were almost always rejected upon first application. A few months later there was a journalistic expose that discovered that certain conditions were automatically rejected by the dwp this was unofficial policy at that time (again I'll get flamed for saying that but since then there have been a number of shocking revelations about the way dwp and their associates handle disability benefit applications so I believe it to have been true at least at that time)

They were the people that first advised me to go to welfare advice service.

Met with welfare advisor who looked at my copy (one thing being a civil servant taught me was keep copies of everything) of the application and they immediately saw glaring mistakes I'd made and that I had been poorly advised to submit that claim.

I'd only included the stuff relating to my mh as that was the main basis of my claim in my head. I have a physical impairment too which the advisor noticed as I was entering the office though it didn't at that time impact me as much as the mh stuff.

As we went through the form together she notice I'd left a lot of "embarrassing" information out eg I can have issues with incontinence at times which I had omitted out of a mix of embarrassment and ignorance/naivety

She also noticed that in all my answers I had basically described how I was on my very best days - which were rare!

There was other stuff too. She completely overhauled it, explained to me how it really works and hand held me through the appeals procedure to a successful claim.

Ever since I NEVER do the forms myself and advise others not to do so either, but to get GOOD advice and support and even have such agencies do the forms for you.

There are even key words and phrases which are looked for which the general public cannot possibly guess at - it's like you need a secret fucking code! Which shouldn't be the case!

The forms made me anxious and I made a mess of them

Don't beat yourself up about this. They are designed to confuse and stress applicants - not a euphemism I know this for fact having since become friends with someone who works for dwp

Also - again I'll be flamed - dwp are not above outright lying! I experienced this even before applying for disability benefits.

I first claimed benefits when I split from ex I was lied to that

I couldn't claim because he was armed forces

I couldn't claim until the divorce was finalised

I couldn't claim living in an area where I had no family

I also (when forms and ID etc were still submitted in person) had several occasions where important documents were "lost" meaning I missed crucial deadlines or missed out on claims altogether. Now if I'm submitting forms or documentation in person I get a receipt AND I double check the ID of the person taking the forms/documents off me as I've also had the experience on more than one occasion when they've lied about their name!

I am sure there will be people who won't believe me but I am absolutely accurate in stating these experiences.

It's criminal!

There have been a number of journalist reports now where journalists have gone undercover either as claimants or benefits workers themselves and discovered practices like this.

Welfare advice officers/offices are also pretty good at knowing what grants etc are available in your location.

I too am under occupied since dd moved out but there are no 1 bed places where I live anyway. I get discretionary housing payment to cover that. As I said I'm in Scotland which I think you are too (no need to confirm or deny)

Those criticising me for my comments on cab - I am entitled to my opinion which is based on the experience of several cab offices and a number of their volunteers in several locations AND being told in real life by others that they have had the same experience as I did. Don't deny ME my experience and opinion.

You should be able to claim Universal Credit without having to jump through hoops.

But that's the reality and has been for many years, predating uc too especially disability benefits

Telling them that 2 days a week you're okay and can do things is probably why it's being rejected

Agree with this post, it's basically the mistake I made I focused far too much on the positives, the good days which were rare!

@Graphista

Op I have an English degree and several years experience as a civil service admin myself and thought I'd be fine doing the forms myself too. I consulted citizens advice for guidance and met them showing them my draft for my application which they looked at and said was fine and no changes needed. This was not my first experience of citizens advice with poor advice on benefits I'd used 3 other offices in other locations across the Uk and they wrong footed me every time. But at this time I did not know who else was available to help with such things I was very naive

First application was rejected. I coincidentally had an appointment with gp that day and broke down on her. She signposted me to a mh self help group local to me at that time.

I went to their meeting the day after and again broke down and said what had happened. They were completely unsurprised but also kind and supportive.

They said that applications on the basis of mh were almost always rejected upon first application. A few months later there was a journalistic expose that discovered that certain conditions were automatically rejected by the dwp this was unofficial policy at that time (again I'll get flamed for saying that but since then there have been a number of shocking revelations about the way dwp and their associates handle disability benefit applications so I believe it to have been true at least at that time)

They were the people that first advised me to go to welfare advice service.

Met with welfare advisor who looked at my copy (one thing being a civil servant taught me was keep copies of everything) of the application and they immediately saw glaring mistakes I'd made and that I had been poorly advised to submit that claim.

I'd only included the stuff relating to my mh as that was the main basis of my claim in my head. I have a physical impairment too which the advisor noticed as I was entering the office though it didn't at that time impact me as much as the mh stuff.

As we went through the form together she notice I'd left a lot of "embarrassing" information out eg I can have issues with incontinence at times which I had omitted out of a mix of embarrassment and ignorance/naivety

She also noticed that in all my answers I had basically described how I was on my very best days - which were rare!

There was other stuff too. She completely overhauled it, explained to me how it really works and hand held me through the appeals procedure to a successful claim.

Ever since I NEVER do the forms myself and advise others not to do so either, but to get GOOD advice and support and even have such agencies do the forms for you.

There are even key words and phrases which are looked for which the general public cannot possibly guess at - it's like you need a secret fucking code! Which shouldn't be the case!

The forms made me anxious and I made a mess of them

Don't beat yourself up about this. They are designed to confuse and stress applicants - not a euphemism I know this for fact having since become friends with someone who works for dwp

Also - again I'll be flamed - dwp are not above outright lying! I experienced this even before applying for disability benefits.

I first claimed benefits when I split from ex I was lied to that

I couldn't claim because he was armed forces

I couldn't claim until the divorce was finalised

I couldn't claim living in an area where I had no family

I also (when forms and ID etc were still submitted in person) had several occasions where important documents were "lost" meaning I missed crucial deadlines or missed out on claims altogether. Now if I'm submitting forms or documentation in person I get a receipt AND I double check the ID of the person taking the forms/documents off me as I've also had the experience on more than one occasion when they've lied about their name!

I am sure there will be people who won't believe me but I am absolutely accurate in stating these experiences.

It's criminal!

There have been a number of journalist reports now where journalists have gone undercover either as claimants or benefits workers themselves and discovered practices like this.

Welfare advice officers/offices are also pretty good at knowing what grants etc are available in your location.

I too am under occupied since dd moved out but there are no 1 bed places where I live anyway. I get discretionary housing payment to cover that. As I said I'm in Scotland which I think you are too (no need to confirm or deny)

Those criticising me for my comments on cab - I am entitled to my opinion which is based on the experience of several cab offices and a number of their volunteers in several locations AND being told in real life by others that they have had the same experience as I did. Don't deny ME my experience and opinion.

You should be able to claim Universal Credit without having to jump through hoops.

But that's the reality and has been for many years, predating uc too especially disability benefits

Telling them that 2 days a week you're okay and can do things is probably why it's being rejected

Agree with this post, it's basically the mistake I made I focused far too much on the positives, the good days which were rare!

@Graphista I’ve worked in benefits for 14 years in the past. I agree with everything you’ve said including comments about CAB.

@LiveintheNow

What about getting a lodger?

I'm in private rented flat and it's against my tenancy agreement.

@randomer

OP, you talk of your mental health improving and staying managed.......this is the key. Could you approach Your GP and say you are contemplating doing sex work as a last resort. He/She may help with your MH and there may just be things you haven't considered. For example an advocate, a support worker. Now these don't pay the bills I know, but it might help.

Find food banks locally, you can be a member and also a volunteer. It is a way of interacting, getting experience and so on. There may be some basic admin work to do.

Try a little cleaning......if you do a good job, people will recommend you.I appreciate you said you have health issues, so just try a couple of hours. If you are alone in the house, you can take your time.

Value yourself OP. You have raised your daughter and she is at Uni. You support your son.
Do not go down the route of sex work.

Yes I do think trying to get and stay in a better place mentally is key. I already get medication and I get counselling/psychologist. Was meant to be short term but they extended it and it's been ongoing for ages so I presume they think my MH issues are significant.

I think an advocate would be a good idea thanks.

I use food banks for a few months now and I appreciate it but as I eat cheaply anyway it only helps a little. It gets delivered due to the pandemic.

I honestly am not in the right place mentally to do any work right now but obviously I'm getting further into debt because I'm not getting enough to live on due to my circumstances. So it's going to hit a crunch point soon and that's why I'm considering webcamming. I think I could work from home but the thought of actually seeing people 'in real life' makes me panic and I realise I need to work on this.

The thing with all of these 'extra' jobs for a few hours - cleaning, even webcamming - is that unless I can make enough to live on it's actually pointless. When I declare the extra money it will be deducted from the UC I get so back to square one. If I don't declare it then it's fraud surely.

@SandyY2K

When you fill out the PIP form, your best bet is to answer the questions in relation to how you feel on your worst day. The days you can't get out of bed and are unable to function without support. The days you can't shower or cook.

Anything about being able to function normally sometimes is taken as you're not too bad.

Ah ok. Yes others have said this.

I'm really not stable. Some days I cannot even get out of bed without panic attacks starting. I only get up for the toilet and to eat toast and tea or my daughter makes something for us both and cleans a bit (when I'm well I make meals and do all the housework). It is like I go back to the trauma and freeze response and doing anything at all makes me panic. I hate being like this. I cannot snap out of it. The traumas I experienced were very severe by anyone's standards.

Even on my good days I get really anxious if anyone talks to me like a neighbour then I get overwhelmed and worse the rest of the day. I only see people occasionally. Even family and friends make me a bit anxious. I'm not bad on the phone or online though for some reason which is why I think flexible online work is all I could do just now. Although I'm not qualified for any of it - save webcam I suppose.

@marchez

I sent you a pm op.

Also as someone said, when you declare earnings it's not taken off £ for £, so you would be better off in some form of paid work.

Example, if you earnt £100, uc will deduct £63, so you get your £100 plus £37 uc.

Thanks matchez. I had heard about being able to keep some of very part time earnings. That would certainly help. I went on a group universal credit essentials though and they said that if it was classed as self employed work they'd take 35 hrs X min wage off my UC even if I only earned say 200 a month.

Is that correct or could I do something without it being classed as self employed?

Thanks I'll read pm.

Right,now,today find out about a supporter,an advocate, a mentor.You cannot do this alone.I would bloody do it myself if I could.

@StaringAtMyWalls
A very beautiful, young and vulnerable daughter of a friend did telephone sex work and it really affected her mental health adversely.

It made her ill listening to men masturbating all day and she began to hate them.

Webcam would be far, far worse and the creeps watching can record it and it could be used against you.

My advice would be don’t...but it is your life.
Not as well paid as you’d think, either.

I think you also need to manage your expectations. £350 a week is a full time salary of around £18k which isn’t too shabby and you’re unlikely to match that doing a few hours work a day

You need to look closely at your outgoings. I know debt is crippling but you say you live frugally in other ways. You should be able to maintain a quality of life on less than £18k especially as your daughter is an adult and your son doesn’t live with you