To be thinking about starting adult webcam work?

[StaringAtMyWalls]

I'm in a really bad financial situation.

Due to physical and mental health I cannot work full time, I struggle to even work a part time schedule (good and bad days), but part time isn't nearly enough to pay my basic bills.

I've honestly tried all avenues already - applied for LCWRA and PIP numerous times and keep getting declined even though my issues are genuine, I already live in a cheap area rent wise, cut down all bills.

I'm considering doing webcam work as I could completely choose my own hours around medical appointments, insomnia, and bad days I could take time off. It would reduce my social anxiety as it's behind a screen and if I freaked out I could just shut down the screen.

I am a shy person though and I have a LOT of stretch marks. I'm not sure I have the balls for it tbh.

I don't care if anyone finds out or records me etc, so long as it doesn't massively impact my chances of a 'regular' job - I'm happy to accept that if found out I won't be able to be a politician (!!) or work with children or say as a lawyer (!!), but would it stop me doing care home, retail or cleaning work?

Does anyone have any experience of webcam work?

OP you've obviously done lots of thinking- why don't you try it, you won't know unless you do, and its fun to feel good about yourself again, earning and getting dressed (un?) for work

I can't move back to my family they are supportive but they live in a different country.

I'll apply for an online business admin course, thank you, and I'll try get my mental health to a place where I can do some admin volunteering. Hopefully I can get a chance for admin jobs then, but it may take a while. My sister said if I get an admin qualification then the NHS might give me a chance in admin. All the admin jobs I try for seem to get snapped up by people with proper experience.

My mental health can have ok times and relapses, which is worrying ling term finances wise. I've had two major breakdowns where I was seriously mentally ill and not in touch with reality. I had to leave my jobs both those times. I just wish I could be stable.

Are you sure you can't get an apprenticeship alongside UC? I'm not an expert, but I had a quick look on Turn2us and it did look possible.

It sounds like a tough situation, OP.

I'd ask somewhere other than Mumsnet, which is very anti sex work - www.uvwunion.org.uk/en/sectors/united-sex-workers/ might have some contacts for you. As might prostitutescollective.net/ and uglymugs.org/um/ and uknswp.org/um/uploads/RSW2.pdf (page 25)

You said your rent is £600 a month, OP. Have you applied for Housing costs [rent] as you're on UC and also Council Tax reduction which could be up to 100% ?

Please don't go down this route OP. Only pour souls who are already damaged do this and it won't make things better. There must be better ways of earning money without degrading yourself.

Don't do it. "Sex work" isn't work. It's exploitation. The proof of this is the fact that you're only considering it because you're in dire straits.

@bibliomania

Are you sure you can't get an apprenticeship alongside UC? I'm not an expert, but I had a quick look on Turn2us and it did look possible.

It sounds like a tough situation, OP.

I asked the work coach. They said that unless I'm under 19 it wouldn't work with UC. I'll look at turn2us though.

@butterpuffed

You said your rent is £600 a month, OP. Have you applied for Housing costs [rent] as you're on UC and also Council Tax reduction which could be up to 100% ?

Yes already got both those things. UC pays £500 of my rent. I get full council tax rebate but still have to pay £50 a month water rates or something.

I'm going to be a bit blunt, because once something is put on the internet it more or less becomes public property and I have seen a lot of horrible things on certain corners of the internet pertaining to camgirls and I would hate to see someone go into this not knowing and ending up scarred for life.

The poster who mentioned a camgirl getting a stapler in the mail to use on herself is the tip of the iceberg. To get any kind of money you have to either have a huge social media following, which means exposing yourself to people who will constantly say the most demeaning things about your body, your face, your house, anything else you can think of, or you have to cater to a specific niche and those can get wildly out of control when your 'fanbase' eggs you on to do more intense and risky things and you'll feel like you have to because they've paid you. I'm talking starting out with some light BDSM-themed stuff and working up to knifeplay, suffocation, prolapse, DP or public obscenity. You may be asked to dress up as and imitate a child and/or roleplay incest.

Viewers will make the effort to dox you and send your pictures to your family and friends for kicks. Videos you've made will be saved to folders and spread around to anyone and there will be nothing you can do about it, so if you get to a point where you can afford to stop and move on with your life, those videos will still be out there somewhere. If you have any self-harm scars, or scars that look like they might be a result of self-harm, you will get messages about them and maybe even asked to reopen them. If you have any triggers and someone suspects that you do, they will try to trigger you deliberately. If you have any vulnerability that can be detected, it will be used against you by sadists. I have seen all of this happen, and I can send you the proof if you need to see it with your own eyes. The people that thrive in this industry are either hard as nails or emotionally broken.

I can't really advise you except to say don't start camming. Udemy has cheap courses on coding and there are always places looking for entry-level coders, maybe that's an option? I'm learning how to code with Python3, the full course was 21 dollars on sale and it's been really in depth so far.

@MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed

Thank you for your really considered advice. I don't even know what coding is but I'll look into that.

Have you worked in webcamming? My friend has been doing it for years and she has never gotten any of that happen to her. She's one of my best friends for a long time so she'd be honest with me if she had, we don't judge each other. I'm not saying you are lying please don't think that, just that I've never heard any of this stuff going on.

My friend she does get frequent nasty comments about her looks and she says she just kicks them out of the 'room'. She did start off not showing her face but had to start showing her face to make any money. She says she does have to get naked and do dildo in the private chat, and do like a fake blow job. If she doesn't she doesn't make much money. Sometimes she makes a hundred in 3 hours but other times she'll sit on for 5 hours and only make twenty.

That's as bad as she says it gets, and yes I'm aware even that is bad.

I'm going to look up some of the things you say. Sounds terrible.

@marchez thanks for this. Do you know if they could help me get a decent, recognised, admin qualification?

I think admin is the route I need to be going down long term. Because even if I can get my mental health stable enough long term - I know I'll never be free of the PTSD sadly - but stable enough to work, my physical issues mean that any full time lifting or standing work is completely out. So rules out care work, cleaning, and probably retail.

I don't work in camming, but I frequent areas of the internet where it's often a topic of discussion in the very harshest of terms and I have witnessed the escalation of girls going into it with the 'lewds not nudes' motto at the start right up to having penetrative sex with a stranger on camera currently. I know it's a bit hard to believe, but what I want you to hear is the very worst of what could happen, it's happened to someone and so far it sounds like your friend has been lucky.

Let me put it this way: I don't watch porn, or frequent any camsites, and I have never paid to see a person perform a sex act, but I have managed to see all of the paid content that a camgirl charges for just by browsing a forum. She didn't consent for me to see it, or any of the other people on that forum either. It got there because one person paid, then downloaded or recorded it all and spread it out to his friends and it ended up where I could see it. I have seen more of this girl's private parts by accident than I have of some of my partners deliberately. How would you feel if this happened to you? Because it could, and it may have happened to your friend without her knowledge. It's very common.

Also, when it comes to the kink stuff, it's escalating because of gonzo porn pushing the extreme sex acts, and the market competition is making the clients more entitled to request extreme acts. I'm very happy that your friend has managed to avoid this up to now, but it sounds like she has a base of regulars to support her, and you won't have that going in.

I can send you the links to the worst case scenarios if you need them, just message me privately because since they obviously involve girl's nudes I don't want to spread them even further publicly.

Also, this documentary is worth a watch. The whole series is, really, but this episode and the one on amateur porn are eye-openers.

Don’t do it OP. You sound like you have significant MH issues and some physical issues and have a severely impacted day to day life because of this. Webcam work is only going to exacerbate these issues.

Once that line into sex work is crossed too, what you’ve done can’t be taken back. It can affect relationships with family/children/potential partners, can damage your job employment prospects/reputation/self-worth. Furthermore, what you put out there on the internet is forever.

It’s also nigh on impossible to make money out of webcam work/OnlyFans. The market is becoming more and more obscenely saturated and diluted each day. There are girls in their 20s who have the bodies of Greek goddesses and they’re barely making minimum wage a week doing it. Only the top 1% of people make money doing it and they’re usually people who are already semi-famous, reality TV stars, actresses, porn stars, Instagrammers, those with huge social media followings or models offering significantly niche or degrading services.

There’s absolutely no money in it for 99% of the female population, even if you’re drop dead gorgeous. You also have to have a very thick skin, be mentally resilient to abuse, rejection and coercion and have a lot of start up money behind you to put into a decent camera, lighting, background, photos, underwear, sex toys etc. You have to treat it like a business/brand to make any money from it, put in ruthless hours and capital at the start to get noticed and have to be consistent, tactful and even-tempered. Though it’s all futile anyway unless you’re at least a semi-celebrity to start off with.

Oh, and also:

www.udemy.com/course/coding-for-beginners/

This one is basic and it's only 13.99 at the moment. Udemy is full of courses and once you know how to code for websites that's a marketable skill you can do a lot with. If you could sustain yourself for long enough to finish a course (I did a five-day code challenge and passed on the first go with 90%, it can be done!) you could end up in a much better position.

@MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed your post was so upsetting to read. Although it makes sense. A good friend tried escorting and found it hugely traumatising.

You don't 'get the sack' if you shut down the screen . You can't - that's not how it works. I suppose you could get bad 'reviews' but there's no way to get the sack - it's self employed.

Well know you won’t get sacked

But the owners of the site will know if you just put the screen down and the client can ask for his money back and a lot of these sites side with the clients

What else can you do?

If you have a good eye and nice use of language, Pinterest or Instagram management is always in hot demand - take a course like Elise Dharma’s or Melissa Griffin’s to get the current goings on & start pitching in the big “boss mom” Facebook groups for like £100 a month. Pick up a few of those and you can literally do it from under your duvet.

Any PA skills?

Have you contacted Step Change? They can freeze debts, contact people you owe them to and get it set up into one monthly affordable payment based on how much you can actually afford to pay and need to live.

There are threads online of people who do online surveys and manage to make a few hundred pounds a month.

I don't know if I am being dumb but I cannot see how between claiming what you are entitled to, using a debt charity, doing online surveys and doing a course to get an admin or coding type job that you would not be able to survive long enough to get some better paid work without resorting to web cam work. The only difference is time. It will take longer but it just does take time to get out of debt. Please don't do it. You sound intelligent and in control.

@MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed

Thank you. The gonzo stuff sounds terrible.

I wouldn't like if I got recorded obviously, but it wouldn't be a disaster for me. Same as if people found out. I can honestly say I do not care who knows or sees, I wouldn't be ashamed.

I think what would harm my mental health about it would be comments about my looks or if I couldn't make enough that I needed to live on and that would feel demoralising and pressure to perform stuff I'm not comfortable with, like really painful stuff, or anything to do with minors or animals disgusts me, or large dildos. I'm comfortable with it except for those things.

Looks like I couldn't do it full time anyway. I couldn't do more than a few penetration shows a day due to gynae issues. Physically I couldn't.

The webcam concept itself doesn't bother me to be honest other than I'm quite shy, but I think escorting whilst more private, would mess with my head more - the smells, the touch and the risk of people knowing that.

To clarify I do not think people who do web cam work and not intelligent, I think web cam work is a waste of intelligence.

are

Exactly who advised/supported you with dwp claims and appeals?

Citizens advice? They are shit! I'll get flamed but they are!

Speak to your local welfare rights advisor within your local council instead. They are usually housed near or within the social services dept but not always and are sometimes called something else.

They are MUCH better than cab. I've tried using cab and they were not only useless they completely wrong footed me which it sounds like has happened here.

Another option (though I've no personal experience) is mind charity who have expertise in mh too

I am mentally ill and on benefits it's not and shouldn't be a barrier to getting them

Quite often it's literally down to the wording. absolutely

I'm fairly confident I know what they've done wrong but don't wish to confuse you

In simple terms you need to describe what you CAN'T do not what you CAN.

But it's more complex than that

What are the debts? There are rules regarding debt repayments levels for those on benefits

Are you in Scotland op? I am and I think you are from a few comments you've made.

I hope my advice helps