To want to travel with DS as soon and as much as possible

[Alloutandreadytogo]

We are a family of four and DS is 6 and has autism. At the moment he is, for the most part, very easy going, easy to take places and loves go out and visit new places.

I said to DH that over the next few years, whilst he is still small and has an easygoing personality, I think we should be travelling and giving him (and of course our other DC) as many experiences as possible.

The reasoning is that I worry that as he grows older, he may change, his personality and life may become more restrictive, as it is for many other children with autism and we may have missed our chance.

We all love to travel and have dreams of going on a few once in a lifetime trips. AIBU to think we should go now (after 2022!) Before we miss our chance to make these memories as a family?

Absolutely, go for it. We used to miss at least a week of school each year and I never felt I missed out on learning anything, I was just occasionally annoyed to miss end of term parties! He's 6, he's not doing his A-levels, just ignore all the obsession so many people have these days that learning only happens in schools.

Basic life experiences help my son to grow and change, he is 6 years old.

You’re using words in a way that don’t mean what you want them to mean. Basic life experiences are what he experiences in his normal day to day life. Travelling isn’t a basic life experience.

@jackieWeaverIsTyeAuthority If you understand what I mean then why do you keep popping up to nitpick at everything I say? I'm typing quickly in the only free hour I get all day...

What possible reasons do you think people could have for saying YABU?

Do it. We have an autistic child and every time we took a trip abroad he flourished. School was not a great place for our child anyway but the things he saw and learned about while travelling you could never learn in a classroom. Ignore all the people bleating on about time missed. Life is short and you don’t have to be academic to be knowledgeable or intelligent. A couple of weeks here and there is negligible in my opinion.

I’m not “popping up”, I’m following the thread. Not am I nitpicking. I’m pointing out to you that travelling is not a basic life experience like you claim.

My dd 9 has autism and has no interest in the world, is a terrible traveller and just wants home and routine. She would also not want to miss school. However, I'd still hope to take her abroad at some point to broaden her horizons - most of us want this for our dc and I don't know who would object to that.

I wouldn't assume your ds will change greatly so don't feel like you have to do it now, but if you have the chance, of course do it when you can.

Thank you @thehorsealreadybolted this just what I wanted to hear. I feel like the parents of children with autism are the ones who really get it.

I am not a parent of a child with autism but I get why you want to take him travelling.
I just don’t get why you think anyone would think that’s unreasonable.

@Alloutandreadytogo - I get you are a family of 4, but you are only talking about your 6yr old.

You mention lack of speech, but the spectrum is quite broad, is your DC in a special school? & do you have Speech & Language input? How has your DC dealt with missing school? Why do you think your DC is going to change? he/she will develop with time, but usually a personality doesn't change overnight until teens/puberty!
Are you worried about tantrums?

I have a non-verbal autistic 21yr old who loves travelling, generally a week/10 days max, (plane, train, boat, car & bike). We've always traveled with him, his appreciation of his 'surroundings' varies, but he's with us, so are his fave toys which travel everywhere. Any longer, we get problems, I guess he misses his home & 'normal' food.

He loves going to school - more routine based, and a different social vibe.
@Xmasbaby11 is very right, some autistic people hate travelling, too much change. Different food, and even beds can be an issue.

Travelling can be fun, but exhausting with some autistic children and even as an adult. However, he helps out with the luggage, and does cope with the delays. Except, when he wants to wander off (& boy is he fast!), and we have to search for him - terrifying in airports or strange towns!

Why post in AIBU if you’re just going to argue against everyone that says YABU 🙄

Sounds amazing. Do it! If my DH was more adventurous I would do this. Unfortunately he panics if they skip a maths question, so can’t see that happening!

I do! I’ve taken my DS (8) out of school for up ton3 weeks at a time depending on where we’re going eg when we went to Australia we went in January because the weather was nice but when we travelled the west coast of the USA we went in august. I have absolutely no qualms about taking him out of school, the world is a really
Big place and going to these places with him in my absolutely favourite thing to do!

@Alloutandreadytogo eh? Yes I know he’s 6.

If he loves travel and new experiences now he's unlikely to change personality later on. The autistic spectrum is vast and not all with ASD fit the mould of needing a rigid routine and staying at home. My son had ASD (nearly 16) and is VERY adventurous. Holidays have always been his favourite thing ever since he was a toddler.

So if he's happy to go and you can afford the time and money to go, great. Why not?

I don't think you need to miss school though. I think you've said you have other children too and surely they'd all have to miss school. There's 13 weeks of school holidays. Go then.

My son HAS ASD, not HAD. I'm not suggesting he's grown out of it!

If you don't think the 13/14 weeks annual school holidays aren't enough to travel then I would think you may better take your children out and homeschool them.

Sure, they may not miss a lot but non-attending children are disrupting the class and learning pace. You don't say how old your other children are but the older they get the less easy it is to catch up the work they miss. And they do miss during a week.

When the government introduced the fine and school stopped allowing parents to take children out DD's Y4 teacher told us that teaching is suddenly a lot easier as they don't have to worry about these children catching up and re-teaching topics.

I am all for children experiencing the world and they may be circumstances where a longer absence can be beneficial but then do it properly.

Why don't you choose to home educate then any qualms about him missing school are irrelevant..

If you want him to go to school...possibly a specialist centre/school as he is non verbal then yabu to take him out in term time...

And are likely to be fined... and potentially lose place although not sure how that works with an ehcp..
Most of the resources and support for him will be based around his school...

You can go travelling for the whole 6 weeks of the summer holidays...why an extra week.....

In some respect I wish we had done this when dc were younger but didn't have the finances...but would have had to gamble with school places as well..... so preschool age was only choice..

What about your other dc are they preschool? If so maybe home ed and go for it and hope you can get a place when you get back....although all specialist provision is chocka where I live so would be anxious about that if couldn't home ed long term

Or is this more of an dream to avoid having to deal with the hardship/stress and anxiety of his needs in formal situations where you can't be there to help him??? If so I understand its tough, and often difficult to navigate for kids who don't fit the usual boxes..

Maybe look for some local support..try NAS/Camhs/contact or your council local offer...

I feel like the parents of children with autism are the ones who really get it.

Yes. That's it. It's your own special little club

Oh, the reason I found this comment..

For a child with autism, experiencing life is the most important education he could ever receive,

...quite so offensive, was the implication that education isn't important to an autistic person. Why did that one comment bother me so much? Oh yes, it's because I am autistic. I also have 2 autistic children. I am more then qualified, by your standards, to comment. I just don't agree with your posts. Sorry about that. It's funny how we are not actually all the same, eh!

I’m a parent of an autistic child, should I ‘get it’? My child likes school and has lots of friends so wouldn’t like to go away for too long. We stuck to UK or Europe as she struggles with places that are unfamiliar. The Netherlands has been our biggest success as it lots of English spoken and it’s neat, tidy and people are calm. We’d love to take her to Morocco but I’m not sure she could cope with the sensory overload.

You are not at all unreasonable to want to go travelling if your DC love it but I don’t see why the autism is particularly relevant.

What are you actually thinking OP in terms of travelling?

Are we talking weeks? Months?
How many children?
How old?

Our travel experiences as a family have really kept us sane over lockdown- funny stories, photos, replicating memorable dishes etc.
Our kids are still quite young and I persuaded have gotten a lot of comfort from knowing that, even though we’re so restricted now and may be for quite some time, they have seen and experienced a lot of different cultures and countries already.
Travel is always enriching - go for it!