Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To want to travel with DS as soon and as much as possible

72 replies

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 20:36

We are a family of four and DS is 6 and has autism. At the moment he is, for the most part, very easy going, easy to take places and loves go out and visit new places.

I said to DH that over the next few years, whilst he is still small and has an easygoing personality, I think we should be travelling and giving him (and of course our other DC) as many experiences as possible.

The reasoning is that I worry that as he grows older, he may change, his personality and life may become more restrictive, as it is for many other children with autism and we may have missed our chance.

We all love to travel and have dreams of going on a few once in a lifetime trips. AIBU to think we should go now (after 2022!) Before we miss our chance to make these memories as a family?

OP posts:

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 24/02/2021 22:29

I really mean seeing the world, experiencing life, which my children, particularly DS benefit hugely from. For a child with autism, experiencing life is the most important education he could ever receive,

OP have you done any actual travelling yourself? For starters It’s very expensive to do it for more than a few weeks at a time. And that’s as a solo traveller- to do it as a family of four for any extended period- well you must have very good holiday allowances in work and a massive savings account to imagine you will be able to fun it.

Second of all- travelling isn’t “experiencing life” life is what we live every day. Your son is experiencing life every single day, both in school and out. He is learning so much in his dad to day life. If you are bringing him up well then you will be providing oodles of enriching experiences from him without having to leave the country. Travelling isn’t normal life that he needs to experience- it’s an added bonus that isn’t something he will suffer from not experiencing. It’s a nice to have, but very far from essential. Not to the extent that his basic education should be halted.

Wolfiefan · 24/02/2021 22:31

@Bonnieonthelam taking your kids out of school and taking them round the world whilst tutoring them is NOT the same as taking them for a holiday coz travel is educational innit!
@Alloutandreadytogo go away. In the holidays. Or home school. Your choice. But don’t pretend taking cheap holidays is better than planned teaching by professionals.

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 24/02/2021 22:32

@Bonnieonthelam

I get the feeling OP isn’t talking about a holiday...

She is- she just thinks calling it travelling makes it sound more acceptable.

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 22:43

I don't know what's happened here. I was just asking a question about my son with autism and I have never said I'm taking him out of school in term time.

OP posts:

MrBullinaChinaShop · 24/02/2021 22:45

I’m confused...

No one has said I am being unreasonable but we have talked about taking the DC out of school for short periods of time, etc

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 24/02/2021 22:46

I’m not really sure what you’re asking OP. Should your family go on holiday, or if you insist, travelling? Sure, why not- who would say that was unreasonable?

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 22:46

By that, as I explained later on, I just mean like maybe a week maximum tagged into holidays.

OP posts:

MrBullinaChinaShop · 24/02/2021 22:47

@Alloutandreadytogo

By that, as I explained later on, I just mean like maybe a week maximum tagged into holidays.

Which is term time. I’m just a bit confused by the OP. No one would say that taking your children travelling is unreasonable, autistic or not, so I’m not sure what the AIBU is? Do you actually think it could be unreasonable?

extentioncord · 24/02/2021 22:49

@Alloutandreadytogo

I don't know what's happened here. I was just asking a question about my son with autism and I have never said I'm taking him out of school in term time.

I will ask again, because I'm a bit bored tonight anyway, what is the relevance of your son being autistic?

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 22:53

@extentioncord did you read my first post? Currently he is very easygoing but this could easily change at any time and our life may become far more restricted.

OP posts:

MrBullinaChinaShop · 24/02/2021 22:58

[quote Alloutandreadytogo]@extentioncord did you read my first post? Currently he is very easygoing but this could easily change at any time and our life may become far more restricted.[/quote]
Then no, YANBU. Why do you think you might be? I think that’s where the confusion lies.

extentioncord · 24/02/2021 23:00

[quote Alloutandreadytogo]@extentioncord did you read my first post? Currently he is very easygoing but this could easily change at any time and our life may become far more restricted.[/quote]

Yes, I read that. However I actually asked about this...

For a child with autism, experiencing life is the most important education he could ever receive,

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/02/2021 23:00

I'm really unsure what the question is?

Will people judge you taking your child with SEN travelling? Only cunts.

Will people judge you travelling with a young child? See above.

Will people judge you for missing school? Yes, some people will. If you don't care, fill your boots.

MrBullinaChinaShop · 24/02/2021 23:02

Were you expecting people on here to say you were being unreasonable for wanting to take your child travelling? If so, on what grounds?

tuttifuckinfruity · 24/02/2021 23:05

This all seems like a load of stuff about nothing

OP, you want to take your kid travelling. Nobody has ever opposed this or said you were being unreasonable.

So what's the problem? Crack on. Most parents want to give their kids the most experiences that they can afford, in terms of time and money. I thought that was just pretty standard 🤷‍♀️

dividedwefall · 24/02/2021 23:08

It's a great idea. My son has ASD and travelling far and wide has helped him so much. And he isn't easy going but we persevered - he is getting better as he gets older. Travel and visiting new places will open his world.

Aloethere · 24/02/2021 23:10

For a child with autism, experiencing life is the most important education he could ever receive, so I would definitely not be worrying about missing a week or so of school.

This is a bit My child has autism and knows that experiencing life isn't going to be enough get him into uni. He has plans and aspirations like every other teenager out there. His exams and his grades in school are very important to him, one of the most, if not the most important thing to him right now. A holiday, no matter where the destination isn't going to help him reach his goals. He wants to live abroad someday, Germany is his current ideal place but he knows he is going to need to secure a good job to get him there.

Tureen · 24/02/2021 23:12

Nothing sounds at all unreasonable about it, only I’d caution against doing anything with the sole goal of giving a young child ‘experiences’. Our almost nine year old has had lots of objectively incredibly cool travel experiences, and remembers zilch about the vast majority. I mean, we just took him with us because we wanted to go there, anyway, but if I’d specifically taken him somewhere in order that he remember riding on a temple elephant or camping out on an uninhabited island off the west coast of Ireland, I’d be pretty pissed off.

dividedwefall · 24/02/2021 23:13

@Aloethere

For a child with autism, experiencing life is the most important education he could ever receive, so I would definitely not be worrying about missing a week or so of school.

Like music, travel and exposure to cultures and languages expands the mind and could in fact help him to meet his goals. I travelled extensively and learned a fair few languages and I would it has had a profound impact upon my success.

dividedwefall · 24/02/2021 23:14

*less so on my sentence structure [rofl]

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 23:16

Thank you @dividedwefall, this is just what I wanted to hear.

OP posts:

Cocopogo · 24/02/2021 23:17

Travelling isn’t “experiencing life”. Life is the boring humdrum at home, teaching him how to use a washing machine and how to prepare food and how to take the rubbish out and how to use the checkout at the supermarket etc.
If you want an extended holiday that over laps term time that’s on you, don’t use your DS with autism as an excuse to go.

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 23:19

@Aloethere Your comment is a bit . That's fantastic for your son but as you know, autism is a huge spectrum. My son doesn't speak and will likely never go to university. Basic life experiences help my son to grow and change, he is 6 years old.

OP posts:

Original poster

Alloutandreadytogo · 24/02/2021 23:21

@Cocopogo that's great if he was 15 but he's 6.

OP posts:

Newnameagain111 · 24/02/2021 23:21

YANBU op, and I am an educator who specialises in autism.

You are right: learning through experience is hugely valuable for children with autism (all children if course, but yours especially).

Why do we want children to read, write and count? Because we want them to function well in the world. Most children pick up the social and experiential parts by-the-by. For your child, learning to function in the world is so much broader than the three Rs. You’re right not to see them as the be-all-and-end-all... and of course you can still learn these while travelling anyway.

Go for the travel: sounds great!

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread