To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

[quote Quit4me]@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe
Thank you, you have actually given it 2 mins thought and placed some thoughts of interest into the discussion. That’s what I was aiming for.
Also, putting HTH at the end of a post is one of the most passive aggressive things you can write on here.
Nowhere have I been scarcastic, mean or name calling.
Just because people dont believe th child wasn’t 3 months old, doesn’t mean she wasn’t. I am telling you what I saw but really I am trying to get a wider sense of the picture not just this one lady![/quote]
Quit4me; equally, you could have given this 2 minutes thought yourself and come up with some thoughts that didn't centre on judging a fat mum, fat nan and baby of indiscriminate age.

You didn't and that's why you've had the posts you have. How exactly are you trying to get a wider sense of the picture? That makes not a whit of sense to me, sorry.

Anyway, some of the other posters, donewithitalltodayandxmas for example, have posted some really thought-provoking posts so, with the thread as a vehicle for those, thanks.

Why do these threads always get shouted down/removed? We have a real problem with obesity in this country (especially with the covid risk now) so why can't we talk about it?

Because a fairly large majority can't discuss it without being judgemental arseholes who throw around terms like lazy, thick, stupid, and ignorant while affecting an air of moral superiority because their child has never so much as sniffed a biscuit. It puts people's backs up and it then becomes difficult to have a reasoned discussion as well as next to impossible to support those who need help with improving their health.

If you can't see a baby from 1.5 to 2m away you want to go to Specsavers

Stood In front of you yes, but in a pram with usually have hoods amd blankets and babies buried in hoods/hats and cosy toes .... playing spot the baby isn't always that easy..

I think a society we have lost all perspective about what a normal portion size of riff-raff looks like

ooooo another fat bashing thread, because we don’t already have too many of those

@FoxyTheFox

Why do these threads always get shouted down/removed? We have a real problem with obesity in this country (especially with the covid risk now) so why can't we talk about it?

Because a fairly large majority can't discuss it without being judgemental arseholes who throw around terms like lazy, thick, stupid, and ignorant while affecting an air of moral superiority because their child has never so much as sniffed a biscuit. It puts people's backs up and it then becomes difficult to have a reasoned discussion as well as next to impossible to support those who need help with improving their health.

Yes, this.

Also, because it genuinely is nuanced, but there's always lots of shouting about, "it's simple, everyone knows that you need five a day" blah blah blah. But it's not that simple and it's often more complicated.

A key issue is definitely that we eat a lot of things we think are healthy but actually aren't and/or are higher calorie than we expect. The obvious ones are, of course, ready meals/pre-prepared foods etc but as others have pointed out, it's also the way cakes and sweets and other treats are made these days. DH bought me some Guylain chocolates recently because he knows I love praline. I can't eat them because they are just so sweet.

Then there's the shift in activity levels (down) while food portions have tended to stay the same (or have even gotten bigger because food is often cheaper and more accessible). In the case of children, especially between the ages of about 5-10, their lack of independence is a huge issue in terms of activity levels because where previous generations might have been playing out with friends, this generation are at home because they're not allowed out alone. Similarly, we all tend to drive etc more and even public transport is significantly enhanced so there's less walking to use it.

All of these things are contributing. educational campaigns are, I think, making some progress. We're seeing a lot more articles on this stuff too - there were two pieces in The Times this week on this with one talking about how supermarket food is making us fat and another offering ideas on lower calorie alternatives.

I'm not usually one to judge other people's food choices. It's so easy and cheap to eat unhealthily so I get it. But giving chocolate buttons to a 3 month old I still couldn't have said anything to the mum as I'd hate to be that openly nosy and interfering but by posting on here, if anyone reading this thinks that's ok then fyi it's not!

Oh and another issue is the mental - I know that I've been guilty of giving my children food and treats in an effort to get a minute's peace in the past. How did I get to that point? I can't say. Is it because it is relatively cheap and easy that I fold quicker than my parents did? Are my children more whiney because they're more entitled and used to having this stuff? Is it because the pace of life is already so hard - I'm rushing around trying to work, look after my children, maintain a life etc etc that anything for a few minutes peace? I don't know, but I do think these things are all part of it.

I'd be shocked to see that too OP.

I was overweight from early teens until parenthood and still working on my weight and fitness now.

Through bad food choices both as an adult and from my family when growing up and food/sweets as reward/love my relationship with food is terrible.

Since having DC of my own I'm determined the unhealthy attitude stops with me. Very rare junk food/processed food. DC love to help me cook. I can't remember a day in my life I was happy with my body. And I don't want that for my DC. DD especially.

A couple of times I've seen similar behaviour (worst was a young toddler, hugely obese, barely fitted in a buggy, straps digging in his fat, holding a full fat coke in one hand and a sausage roll in the other) and it makes me so so sad as I know these kids will grow up not only overweight and unhappy but with hugely unhealthy relationships to food.

I do think generally society is getting my health conscious though. Look at the popularity of Joe Wicks etc.

If you wanted a discussion on obesity in the UK, start a thread on obesity in the UK. No need for the anecdote of one snapshot you've seen of somebody's life and blasting them for it.

I brought this up on the thread about parents not being able to afford shoes for their DCs and got lambasted for it. Apparently I was being prejudiced and didn't understand their situation

Because you were being prejudiced and didn’t understand their situation. Just like the OP here has decided this overweight mother is just feckless and stupid.

I agree with you OP but you can't talk about it nowadays

And yet here the OP is, talking about it.

Every thread about obesity centres on food. Kids now get so little exercise. They’re driven everywhere and spend most of the time they’re not at school indoors. You never see kids out playing and just running around like they used to. There would be fewer fat kids if their screens were taken away and they got a bit of fresh air and exercise.

ou never see kids out playing and just running around like they used to. There would be fewer fat kids if their screens were taken away and they got a bit of fresh air and exercise

You might not, I certainly do. 2 of mine are out at the playground, scooted there and they'll be gone for 2 hours, another is out with friends for a very long rambly walk. Most of the kids I know are very sporty and active.

@VinylDetective

Every thread about obesity centres on food. Kids now get so little exercise. They’re driven everywhere and spend most of the time they’re not at school indoors. You never see kids out playing and just running around like they used to. There would be fewer fat kids if their screens were taken away and they got a bit of fresh air and exercise.

Have you been living in an underground bunker for the last year?

Might there be a tiny little reason why you haven't seen as many kids running free recently...?

@MintyMabel

I brought this up on the thread about parents not being able to afford shoes for their DCs and got lambasted for it. Apparently I was being prejudiced and didn't understand their situation

Because you were being prejudiced and didn’t understand their situation. Just like the OP here has decided this overweight mother is just feckless and stupid.

I agree with you OP but you can't talk about it nowadays

And yet here the OP is, talking about it.

How on earth do you know what I’ve decided about the mother!!? Even I don’t know what I’ve decided! Nowhere did I say anyone was lazy, feckless or anything of the sort! Goodness me, some people calling me judgemental on here need to take a look in the mirror at themselves!!

As a parent who doesn’t always make the best food choices for my kids I’ll tell you:
Depression- a huge factor, when I’m struggling to get through a day the very last thing I have the mental energy for is thinking about, planning, sourcing and cooking a meal.
Physical disability- makes my energy levels shit and standing up to cook almost impossible.
Life- a full time job, homeschooling, a sick parent who needs frequent hospital trips means no time to think.
Lack of cooking facilities- not now, but there have been times in my life where I had no cooker and nowhere to store food.
Child with sensory issues- means getting them to eat anything was a nightmare, so it sometimes happened that once I found a food they’d tolerate I’d feed him it so he didn’t starve to death.

But none of my kids are overweight. I am a little. So it only matters if you’re heavy right? You can do as you like, but if you’re fat and have the audacity to not be perfect all the time, then god help you. 😒🙄

A lot of shocking posts on here that I originally thought must be fake. But maybe they aren't and that's why we have such problems with obesity...

The only thing I will say....is I had a prem baby, and at 6 months old (weaning age) could still fit into newborn clothes, she was always, and still is absolutely tiny for her age, so there is no way to be sure you new even the rough age of the baby

Have you been living in an underground bunker for the last year? Might there be a tiny little reason why you haven't seen as many kids running free recently...?

I’m talking about the last decade, not the last year. 🙄

Even children are allowed out for exercise.

@naptune

It’s all they knew as children. Lack of education as although they can access information it’s something they’ve never been told to do. Healthier food is expensive in the shops near me it’s about £2.50 for a fruit pot and it’s £1 for a 6 pack of crisps. £2.50 may not sound like much but it is if you don’t have it especially as a 6 pack of crisps would last longer.

What is a fruit pot? You don't really need to be obsessive about food, things like beans on toast, pasta in tomato sauce, and fishfingers with peas are fine to give to kids, and affordable for most people.

Yes to be fair, a friend of mine has an over 3 year old who is still in 6-9/9-12 clothes due to developmental issues and prematurity. My niece is 2.5 but in 12-18 month clothes but she’s perfectly healthy with an excellent diet. Her mum is just tiny.

Also, I know you said milky bar buttons, but did you see the actual packet? I used to make my DS yoghurt drops or buy them from Holland&Barretts and call them buttons.

@Mulhollandmagoo

The only thing I will say....is I had a prem baby, and at 6 months old (weaning age) could still fit into newborn clothes, she was always, and still is absolutely tiny for her age, so there is no way to be sure you new even the rough age of the baby

Even at 6 months old/ a year old there is no reason to give a baby chocolate buttons. Ridiculous

I could make similar observations about your SPAG, but that would be rather unkind, wouldn't it?

I’m a ftm who has recently started weaning my 7 month old. All the advice out there is for extremely healthy foods, start with single veg, no added sugar or salt etc etc. So the information is out there however my mum and mil weaned between 3 and 4 months, we were given tea from an early age, squash and juice instead of water, biscuits, baby rice in milk bottles which are all obviously big no nos now. If the lady is following her mum or mils advice she may not have the right info, I’ve already had to bin a pack of children’s biscuits full of sugar mil bought for my baby.

Given the solution to schools being shut and parents having to wfh and home school children simultaneously has been "Don't worry about the screen time, it's only a few months", it's unsurprising that obesity rates are through the roof. Combine boredom, stress and limited recreational opportunities with snacking to make things seem better and you have a health disaster in the making. And there are many people whose lives were like this prior to lockdown. But let's continue to blame it on lack of willpower and poor choices .