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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how long it took you to feel like you again after birth and baby.

54 replies

PooNPop · 24/02/2021 10:07

I gave birth nearly 3 weeks ago. I appreciate that is not very long ago at all, im just wondering how long others took to feel themselves and if they felt like this too?

I thought if I ever felt down after birth it would be the stresses of having a baby, sleepless nights, finding my feet with a newborn etc... But he's an absolute joy. I'm loving every minute of him.

But I just can't help but feel so low and frankly horrified at the 'state' of me. I look horrid. Everywhere is bigger, I have huge angry stretch marks all over my stomach, I don't have much time to make any sort of effort with myself at the moment and I just feel so upset when I see myself at the moment. I don't even want DH to take any pictures of me with baby, it makes me cry seeing them.

It sounds daft I know. I'm not a vain person usually at all so I've been really surprised with my strength of feeling about all this.

But I can't help looking at pictures of me before pregnancy and birth and just thinking God, I'll never look like that again (not that I was ever a model or anything but I certainly looked better than I do now!).

It's spilling over into thoughts about my relationship. I keep feeling like I need to be reassured by DH that he still loves me. I feel like how on earth could he look at me right now and feel anything but disgust quite frankly. I'm not eating barely because I'm desperate to lose weight as quickly as possible.

I'd never take it back, I have my gorgeous boy and I understand how lucky I am for that, really I do (it took us a long time to get him). But I can't seem to shake these thoughts Sad

OP posts:
PickleKid · 24/02/2021 15:27

@ColdBrightClearMorning I could not disagree with you more about putting him back in!

Just came back from a walk with DS strapped to me and it was like being pregnant all over again. Slow and big and heavy with 15lbs in the front. Not a single vertebrae in my back wants to relive that! Laying on the floor now. 😅

ColdBrightClearMorning · 24/02/2021 15:32

[quote PickleKid]@ColdBrightClearMorning I could not disagree with you more about putting him back in!

Just came back from a walk with DS strapped to me and it was like being pregnant all over again. Slow and big and heavy with 15lbs in the front. Not a single vertebrae in my back wants to relive that! Laying on the floor now. 😅[/quote]
Thinking about it I probably wouldn’t want to put my current 24lb child back in 🤣 but I’d give it a try! I just miss the feeling of pregnancy so much! Baby carrying never worked for me though, too bad on the back!

Peace43 · 24/02/2021 15:34

She’s 10.... still waiting!

Countrylane · 24/02/2021 15:34

I had a baby in June and remember feeling properly myself the March after. I'd stopped breastfeeding by then (obvs lots of plus points, but for me it did feel like my body wasn't entirely my own - and obvs "tied" me pretty closely to the baby). But also it was spring, and we had a patch of gorgeous weather, and the baby was sleeping really well, and I remember feeling I was back again. I'd def had moments before, but it was March when I felt back to normal.

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