To not have an explanation for every single toddler bruise?

[cadburyegg]

DS2 is 3 next week. He is hypermobile and walked at 22 months. He also bruises easily. He attends preschool 3 days a week, they are aware of his hypermobility. He often has the odd bruise on his leg, which is pretty common in toddlers anyway and DS1 often had bruises on his legs at that age but the nursery he attended never asked about them.

I understand preschool wanting forms to sign or asking me to clarify how he got a head bump or a bruise in an unusual place, of course. But they also ask me to clarify where he got every single bruise. Usually I know but they have messaged me today asking how DS2 got a bruise on his leg below the knee. I honestly can't remember how he got it and I'm not sure it's realistic for me to keep track of every time he falls over, I wouldn't always necessarily know either because me and his dad are now separated and he has the children every other weekend. Are they being over-cautious or AIBU?

That does seem excessive to me, unless it's a really enormous and nasty bruise. Just say he fell over? Isn't that enough detail?

My children almost always have little bruises on their legs and I often do as well, it's pretty normal.

I used to bath my 3 DSs when they were little and joke with my DH about social services being called because of their legs! Against the white bath their legs seemed to be absolutely covered in bruises of varying sizes and colours! And so did all my friends kids. No one ever thought it could be anything other than normal country bumpkin kids rough and tumble bruises.

YANBU - my DD is 2 and fell over at the weekend whilst waking. Cuts on both knees and bruises on her legs. I haven’t felt the need to explain to nursery (and nor have they called me about it) surely it’s accepted that toddlers fall over and bump into things?!

I can't normally account for every bruise on me even.

My two were always covered in bruises from a young age. They used to count them up to see who had the most. The youngest won one week when he counted 17! They couldn't even account for them let alone me. Even the biggest nastiest one, which surely would have hurt at the time, I'd say 'ouch how did that happen' and they would shrug and say they had no idea.

They are in their 20s now and pretty sporty and are still always covered in bruises.

I used to joke about SS like previous poster. I would often say, how on earth did you get that one, when spotting a new huge bruise. Usually they didn't know and I certainly didn't!

Actually at 9 and 5 their shins still usually have a fair amount of bruises! I didn't think just bruised shins would normally be cause for concern...perhaps alongside other neglect issues like not being clean or rampant lice but answering for every bruise seems a bit OTT.

They might well need to ask so that there is a record that the bruise happened at home - so that parents don’t accuse them of mistreating the child or not recording an injury at nursery. They’re not accusing you of anything, just making a note.

YANBU but what do you mean by hypermobile? That’s a genuine medical condition.

Blimey, that does seem excessive. I, too, am hypermobile and always have bruises on my legs that seem to have appeared from nowhere, as I certainly don't remember where I get them all from!

I would remind the nursery that he is hypermobile and consequently bruises easily. Perhaps suggest to them that they don't need to keep a log of bruises as you aren't going to accuse them of being the cause?

I can’t even account for my own bruises. Is it a big bruise?

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 I suffer from hypermobility syndrome and it basically means my joints aren't held in place properly so, for example, I twist my ankle all the time. My version of the disability also means that my body constantly aches and can be quite painful; it feels like an effort to keep it held together!

A lot of gymnasts have hypermobility because it just makes them more flexible. Not everyone who is hypermobile has the pain element.

It also means I have very silly long arms!

@MyGodImSoYoung

Blimey, that does seem excessive. I, too, am hypermobile and always have bruises on my legs that seem to have appeared from nowhere, as I certainly don't remember where I get them all from!

I would remind the nursery that he is hypermobile and consequently bruises easily. Perhaps suggest to them that they don't need to keep a log of bruises as you aren't going to accuse them of being the cause?

That's not going to fly in today's world, I am afraid. If a parent suggested that to me I would have to report the comment to my safeguarding lead.

@LibrariesGiveUsPower45321

YANBU but what do you mean by hypermobile? That’s a genuine medical condition.

She means hypermobile. Hypermobile children bruise more easily.

Hi , does your little boy have hypermobile EDS? I have this and one of the possible symptoms is peripheral numbness , so basically it’s easy for me to injure myself without much pain or distress . Eg I cut my leg and didn’t realise until felt that my sock was wet (11 stitches) . If so he may be more inclined to play carelessly than others and cause himself bruises

My 7yo is covered in bruises. He is currently supporting a lovely blue one on his cheek! Granted I know how he did that one but the rest I have no idea! He's always been the same

Then you say you have no idea. I don’t think one unaccounted for bruise is going to trigger any social services visit. But obviously continuous bruising with no obvious explanation is a worry.

My child got a black eye at preschool and I was infinitely relieved it happened there at not at home. Of course I then had to deal with the looks of passerbys on walks which was a whole other issue 🙄

My son had a cut on his leg that I didn't know about until I out him in the bath, never moaned about it and was dressed so never saw it. I think every bruise is excessive.. Should just be any major bruise or bruises in wierd places

My children and myself all have hyper mobility and we seem to always have bruises. I've been questioned over bruises once as one of mine is always covered in bruises, he had learning difficulties, autism, ADHD etc and he just jumps and flaps, and walks on his toes and is just a constant bull in a China shop.

As a child I was always covered in bruises, it got to the stage where my gran asked my mum if everything was OK . A few weeks later she baby sat and said to my mum that she only had to look at me and I bruised. Not hypermobile but probably dyspraxic. I still get regular bruises.

Surely nursery should make allowances.

They have to make a record of all injuries that they see, but it's bruises that occur in places where a child wouldn't normally injure themselves during play that trigger concerns about child protection. For example, an unexplained bruise on their leg, will probably be recorded but wouldn't cause any concern unless it was part of a wider set of injuries or concerns, but an unexplained bruise on their stomach or neck may well trigger an investigation.

Surely nursery should make allowances
They would factor in a child's medical conditions if there were enough concerns to possibly justify getting outside advice, for example from a children's safeguarding hub, but they can't say 'Peter has hypermobility so we'll just accept he has lots of bruises and not ask/record them'.

We have the exact same at my daughter's nursery . . . But she is almost 2. You can imagine how many bruises a toddler is getting on their knees.
I always just say 'Got the bruise playing' - I mean . . . Like you I have no idea how she gets half of them, and the other half is just her generally getting excited and running into things to get somewhere.
Our nursery I think do it so we cannot turn around and blame them for a bruise . . . For all I know some of the knee bruises are from nursery but, she is a toddler. Providing she doesn't have any weird marks or anything in weird places I'm not too worried.

I can't normally account for every bruise on me even.
^I'm the same.

You can have milder hypermobility or full EDS - my DS has milder hypermobility. He does have dyspraxia and as a toddler also had loads of bruises.

Hypermobility syndrome disorder is a connective tissue disorder. (Along with several sorts of Ehlers Danlos syndrome) Everything is held together by connective tissue. Depending on which sort of connective tissue depends on which body systems are worst effected.

HSD/hESD is the commonest but not usually the worst. If a parent has it there is a 50% chance of passing it on.

Can effect joints giving pain or subluxation or full dislocation.
Bladder, bowels, can be effected. More likely to have allergies, asthma, autism, mast cell disorders (no me neither, something to do with immune response?) Pots and orthostatic hypotension (dizziness fainting fatigue) stomach issues, such as acid reflux, stretchy weak skin and fucking bruises, millions of fucking bruises. ( I have blood vessels that randomly burst and get awful big bruises under my skin)

If it is still available the RCGP Ehlers Danlos toolkit is good to find out more?